GF still working?

[Swedeman007]

How does a BM remain in a relationship with a LB who is still in P4P?

If I had someone that I truly cared about, and announced it on all forums and for everyone to know, the least I would do is take her off the market. It would be embarrassing to me if some monger was barfining someone who I considered to be my GF. My self respect is a bitter higher than that I guess, and again I would just simply not allow it. Plain and simple I don't share the one I love with anyone, period. However, I guess for some that may not be a big deal? -Swedeman007

[bumblebee]

I guess it all comes down to how upfront she is, and how good she is at playing the game.  From observing it all over the years, some guys want to believe she is being faithful and will buy into the deception as the alternative it too much to consider.  Most guys have seen girls in so called "relationships" sneaking off with customers at some stage, while the bf is happy at home, waiting for his next trip, in the belief she "is different".  

[xyzzy]

How does a BM remain in a relationship with a LB who is still in P4P?

If I had someone that I truly cared about, and announced it on all forums and for everyone to know, the least I would do is take her off the market. It would be embarrassing to me if some monger was barfining someone who I considered to be my GF. My self respect is a bitter higher than that I guess, and again I would just simply not allow it. Plain and simple I don't share the one I love with anyone, period. However, I guess for some that may not be a big deal? -Swedeman007

 

  IMO the only way to accomplish this is to not have a relationship with a P4P girl ot perhaps any Thai. Unless you think you are special enough to be in the 1-2% that actually work out.

[globetrotter]

  IMO the only way to accomplish this is to not have a relationship with a P4P girl ot perhaps any Thai. Unless you think you are special enough to be in the 1-2% that actually work out.

 

 

Thai girls all buttafly

[Luung]

I think different types of criteria, even for the different types of relationships within the realms of P4P... But at the end of the day, whatever way you want to look at it, you're walking into a one sided contract, unless you want to fuck around as well, in which case it'll be falling apart, sooner rather than later.

If you want a real relationship, which is incredibly rare with a Thai partner, even outside our little world, then you've got to take her out of P4P & either live with her here, or in your own country... PERIOD!

If you don't, you're going to be lied to, you'll be respected less & less as time goes on & you'll be used a door mat... PERIOD!

At any rate, firstly, you've got to define what a 'relationship' is & then make sure that you & your ladyboy friend are both on the same page with this???? And then could she 'honestly' get her head around concepts like, give & take, working together, sharing goals, building for a future, being a real partnership, supporting one another, fidelity, loyalty etc, ect, etc... You see, the problem there is that they'll nod in agreement with you while paying no more than bare, minimal, lip service to these concepts, which are mostly not even within their remit... This is Asia, & the man/husband isn't required to do much more than bring home the bacon... After all, our ideals of marriage & romantic relationship are a bit 'Mills & Boon' for this bunch, same as they would have been for 90% of westerners before Edwardian times.

And funnily enough, I had a situation a little while ago where an LB (who you actually know) was really pushing hard to be my girlfriend, but she wasn't willing to fully take herself off the P4P market, because I wasn't 'yet' offering to become a sponsor (& I wouldn't have, for a multitude of reasons), her not wanting to 'yet' give up P4P & her Facebook fan club being amongst them!

Now, she likes to maintain as high a public profile as she can & whatever she does somehow becomes very public, whether by her orcestration or not... And man, that would have been way too much for me to deal with, but she just didn't get it, THEY DON'T!.. So I was happy to walk away & retain my dignity before the inevitable liaisons with others happened.

So for the duration of our 'friendship' I was very happy to stay in the background, because if they have been in P4P for any amount of time then they will have probably lost virtually all sense of shame or embarrassment & most importantly what that means for 'US'!

So personally, I feel your self respect is where it should be Swedeman... And as for the others who are so insecure that they need to declare 'boyfriend' status for an active P4P whore... I'm not going to be mean enough to say what I think.

I'll have a real relationship, mind, body & soul, or stay on my own, thanks!

[Foggy]

 "And as for the others who are so insecure that they need to declare 'boyfriend' status for an active P4P whore... I'm not going to be mean enough to say what I think."

 

I follow Lungs line of though here too.  

A bit like wearing a beer brand vest.... waste of money and makes u look like a C#$T    

 

 

There was a famous P4P relationship a few years ago Titan and Om. I see Om is on Thaifriendly advertising a lot so does anyone know or have a link to the final stages of there story. ??

 

Or are they happy every after and he's still accepting here lifestyle choice ??

[Rickshaw]

There was a famous P4P relationship a few years ago Titan and Om. I see Om is on Thaifriendly advertising a lot so does anyone know or have a link to the final stages of there story. ??

 

Or are they happy every after and he's still accepting here lifestyle choice ??

 

That particular relationship ended last year when Titian decided that Om was not for him - but she had been out of the P4P scene for at least two years in order to have a monogamous relationship with him.

 

The sad thing was you could see the relationship unravelling over a prolonged period as differences in culture, aspirations and personalities came to the for, yet neither of them seemed to recognise it or were prepared to acknowledge and then tackle the difficulties. Maybe they did in private, but publicly they maintained a front of luvvy dubbyness until it went tits up.

 

For those interested in such things, Om is a sweet girl who would make a great GF, albeit with quite high maintenance needs.

[dixon cox]

There was a famous P4P relationship a few years ago Titan and Om. I see Om is on Thaifriendly advertising a lot so does anyone know or have a link to the final stages of there story. ??

 

Or are they happy every after and he's still accepting here lifestyle choice ??

 

I know he got a bit of flack but Titian seemed a decent fellow and I met him and Om several times when they were together and I was with my LBGF of 4 years at the time.

 

Early evening 2 days ago I saw Om along Soi6 as I was walking up from Beach Road to Horny Bar, where little May was kind enough to show me the ST room innards for an off-season take-it-or-leave-it price. T'was good too.

 

I would reckon most of us who've been on the scene a while have given it a go once or twice during our Thailand years, but time reveals the uglier underbelly of Thai thinking and it inevitably leads to failure. Hopefully without too much financial loss.

 

So long as you only spend what you can afford there's no reason why a long-term relationship can't be enjoyed, but your expectations of monogamy should be realistic. Often one doesn't see it at the time.

 

I kept mine private from the forums so when the inevitable happened there was no loss of face for either party. I have a bit of a dead heart towards Thais these days so I doubt I'd get involved again, experience tells us (me) that however good it might appear it will 99.99% of the time lead to disappointment as their values and opinions on relationships are so different. 

 

Those 'private investigators' who will check-up on your girl when you are back home make money for old rope. If anyone has doubts about their own relationship then it is already doomed to failure IMO. 

[Jimslim]

 It would be embarrassing to me if some monger was barfining someone who I considered to be my GF. My self respect is a bitter higher than that I guess, and again I would just simply not allow it. 

 

I remember a few years ago now being at a party in Pattaya with a ladyboy I'd known a long long time , she's holding my hand and whispering sweet nothings in my ear whilst I look around the room and realize the majority of the guys there have been with her in the biblical sense at some stage too .

 

 Mills and Boon moments don't happen in Pattaya .

[rxpharm]

Many of those who proclaim they want a bf/gf relationship with an lb will often fool around on the side. Is that any different than what a Thai lb will do?

 

There is likely a small minority of guys who would be strictly monogamous with an lb gf, which is probably around the same percentage of lbs who would be monogamous with a single guy.

 

If an lb is in the p4p scene, as we all have heard the stories and seen the evidence, the % of not working is low. I think that an lb gf who was not in or from the p4p scene would be a different story.

 

My question is what about you? Can you avoid the temptations? I think very few of us can - so why bash the lbs so much when the guys probably cheat just as much and likely lie about it as often too?

[JaiDee]

Valid points, RX; many guys want to have their cake and eat it too.

 

 Case in point, and this happens often; a guy who wants his LB girlfriend to be faithful to only him, then when he comes back for his one or 2 months a year he is off to Pattaya either before or after the visit with his GF for some 'butterfly' time.  How many times have we seen "I can't wait to spend my time with Nong;  but first I will head down to Pattaya and clean my tubes out."

 

If he can do it, she can do it when he's not around.

[Foggy]

 

My question is what about you? Can you avoid the temptations? I think very few of us can - so why bash the lbs so much when the guys probably cheat just as much and likely lie about it as often too

 

 

If u do that then u deserve to have the same treatment in return and shouldn't be in a 'loving' relationship anyway, but insecurity plays a roll and alot of guys want there cake and eat it.

 

In my opinion if your in serious relationship then u should go and do the things u enjoy ( or find somethings )  and not put yourself in the way of tempation. That way she will be an enjoyable bonus to your life when u do have time together.

 

Thanks guys for the Titan and Om update I wasnt sure of the outcome and sad to hear of the end result.

 

I guess the rule is dont put in more than u can afford to loose, but thats the brain thinking and he rarely gets a look in where hot available LB's/GG's are concerned

[Swedeman007]

It isn't so much being in a relationship with a LB and either party is fooling around on the side. That is a whole different topic that I am sure can be debated whether it be P4P or not. It is more of calling a certain ladyboy your GF because when the so called BF is in town she spends all her time with him. It could be that he spends months at time with this LB when he is in town. And when he leaves and goes back home, then she is back selling her wares in Patts. The BF isn't willing to sponsor her, and knows full and well that she is back working at the bar. In this case, can you really claim her as your girlfriend? The only thing that separates a monger from the BF is a few baht, so I guess the monger can call her his GF as well if they spend a descent amount of time together?

 

What I am trying to understand is the thought behind why someone would claim a "currently working LB" as "their girl". 

Is it due to a lack of personal self worth, basically low self esteem, that you call her your girlfriend even though you know she is still in the business? In a case like that I personally wouldn't label her as mine,but more of a go-to girl when I am in town.

 

Or does being with her provide you with some type of status that you personally feel is admired by your "forum mates"?

 

-Swedeman007

[pdogg]

"currently working LB" as "their girl".

go-to girl when I am in town.

 

I guess everyone uses words differently.

I think some guys have their favorite but don't want to impede her money flow when he's gone. And perhaps don't want to mislead her.

This special favorite rocks his world in bed and they get on well and can have a good laugh together.

Monogamy? Important to some, less so to others, and not at all to still others.

[JaiDee]

All good questions Swedeman, and I'll be damned if I know the answers; I've only really had one LB ''girlfriend'' and she was in college at the time.  She hooked later but we were long done by then.

 

   One example of what you are referring to is Cindy from Cascades; many guys here would know her, likely some even know her in the biblical sense. She had a long-term relationship with a western guy and kept working, and he knew full-well what she was doing, never even tried to deny it.  His attitude was, 'I'd like to see her stop working but I can't afford to cover the amount she makes every month" so she kept working.  PD refers to guys like that above. Last I heard they gave their relationship the ol' college try but it just didn't work out.

 

   A bit off-topic, but think of all the guys who call a working girl "my girlfriend", and eventually works his way up to sending her 40 or 50K to get out of the bars, but she keeps working anyway, effectively doubling her monthly haul. He can call her "my girlfriend" and that may make him feel better, but all the while she is still working while he is away; quite common I believe.

[Luung]

What I am trying to understand is the thought behind why someone would claim a "currently working LB" as "their girl". 

Is it due to a lack of personal self worth, basically low self esteem, that you call her your girlfriend even though you know she is still in the business? In a case like that I personally wouldn't label her as mine,but more of a go-to girl when I am in town.

 

Or does being with her provide you with some type of status that you personally feel is admired by your "forum mates"?

 

 

I think you've just answered your own question, Swedeman.

 

 

 

 

NB. The first one's sad... The second one's even sadder

[randiuno]

I sort of look at it as the same as people who buy timeshare condos...you can claim the condo for yourself for the two weeks you are in Hawaii, and you know whenever you go back to Hawaii, you will get the same unit, with its concomitant characteristics.  I remember my granddad and grandmother used to the go to the same hotel every year and the same suite to celebrate their nuptials.  Why? They had good memories of the experience and wanted to make more, however, they could not guarantee the room wouldn't be booked when they wanted to go.  However, a timeshare solves this problem.  I think a working ladyboy gf is simply a timeshare relationship, I get my two weeks guaranteed. 

 

What I have discovered is timeshares are usually more expensive than simply renting the condo next door for the week.  However, I can't always guarantee I will get the condo.  So, It appears to me if a guy claims a LB working girl as his gf, he is simply saying that when I'm in town, we spend time together and she has agreed to spend her time with me.  And he is agreeing to pay for that luxury and guarantee. 

 

Anyway, i'm very loosey goosey on my terminology...so any girl I'm not paying for is my girlfriend, if only for a one night stand...lol.  I date many gg's in the US.  I call them all my "girlfriends", and introduce them as such to my friends, but we are not monogamous, and until I call one a "wife" again, I don't ever plan on having any thing close to an expectation of monogamy.

 

So, when come back to Pattaya, and a girl I meet at a bar decides to hang out with me and travel with me for a few weeks, she will be my girlfriend for my vacation....

 

And I would feel no shame or loss of face if I elected to do a timeshare with a working girl, and called her my girlfriend. It would simply explain to my mates on this forum why I show up all the time with the same girl.... she is the one who rocks my world in the pay 4 play world, and I would like to guarantee access, and calling her my "girlfriend" in Thailand  and is generally much nicer than saying "my favorite whore who I pay1/4 the price of a whore I hire in the US, but who gives me 4 times the service."

 

My two cents...

Randi

[SiamSam]

Good approach Randiuno. Makes perfect sense, I like it and subscribe to same.

[garrydirty]

 If I like one LB or fem-boy then I lay my cards on the table....I tell them I wont send u money when I leave LOS...I like u and want u to hang around with me on my hols, I will take care of u while I am here and that's as far as it goes, most that I have done this with are happy enough getting a regular income when I am there, and me getting my needs met....I am realist am not asking for GF material......If the girl is looking for something more to meet her needs then I aint that guy, I don't expect her to stop working bar or take her (home) or to go to college or anything like that....I have my limits and try not to expect anything more....Maybe its selfish? am not sure...am honest and am not offering them another life, I don't wont long term commitment with them, anyway I am never going to stay in Thailand long term unless i won the lottery or something.....There seems to be a fad at the moment of having a girlfriend and buying her out the bar....how many will last? maybe top whack 8/10...what another guy wants to do is up to him, theirs plenty of experience on different sites to warn him of the dangers, if he chooses to ignore it then its up to him, just don't tell me u weren't warned!!.....Regards Garry...       That is until I find the ONE.....LOL aint they all the one, shes different blah blah blah.....as my friend Swedeman would say Get the fuck out of here!!