Foggy Posted August 25, 2012 Share Posted August 25, 2012 I really do feel sorry for anyone ( male GG, LB ) that wants a serious relationship and is played by suposed suiters wether on dating sites or working a regular job hoping to catch someones eye. I hope that bites them back badly. Personally I love to look over the sites and see the hot chicks available and do take the odd number down if displayed, but have no interest in pidgeon talk over the net to secure a date. I will call if it feels right when I arrive in Pattaya and see if its my slot in her calender. But more times than do, I dont bother as there are so many walking about I never saw online, and sexier. Nothing wrong in dreamin' As Im wired differently and also not looking for a long term serious relationship or a rescue misson and cant ever see that changing, I am definately in the right country as it gives me the opportunity to have the type of relationships with LB's that I love to be involved in... short term and plenty of choice. Not wanking full time just yet although it has saved me a few baht on occasion. Now living in Thailand being retired and not into the drink and bar culture that ruin's so many men. I now have the emotional freedom to be alone the free time and funds to pursue and achieve all the things I couldn't when I was working full time. It's important to have and pursue passions later in life and a very rewarding space to be in when u achieve any person goals youve set your self. Beats starting the day with a beer at ten am to be bloated and redundant thereafter. ( No offense intended to those that do ) Playing the girlfriend game takes a very resilient man and Im sure many a guy after the honymoon period expires start to think this wasn't what I signed up for. But for those that last the long haul I hope you are truely happy and not so emotionally tied up in termoil hoping one day to escape. This also applies to LB's and GG's that do want a lasting dream. The Original topic.. What about the genuine one's ? Well I guess a hell of a lot dont ever realise there fantasy, 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SiamSam Posted August 25, 2012 Share Posted August 25, 2012 Foggy has spoken! Good post Mr. Fog. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KenW Posted August 26, 2012 Share Posted August 26, 2012 I fell in love with my first girl at age 8, my first boy at about 11 or 12. I've been a sucker for relationships ever since. I will never have another now though, as an old fart I am just too burned out by some rather tricky and difficult experiences. I won't bore with detail, but for those who want to see some of that awful shit-littered track record you can browse my Love at First Sight tale on my VN LBs thread in the A list. Having said that, it makes me at one with those who do want and still pursue relationships, both falangs and locals. I understand. Of the straight expats I drink with here at home, my estimate is that about 75% of them have VNese GGs in tow, either as girlfriends or wives. Quite a few have children with these women. I suppose it's similar in other Asian countries. Age range of this sample of expats is from 20s through us old farts in 60s or so. Perhaps that's skewed a bit at one end to being a bit younger than the core group of LB lovers on these forums. Nevertheless, I think the goals are pretty much the same: sex and fun. These days I don't meet anyone who has the just for sex, no relationships ethic of quite a few FMs here. But that doesn't mean they're not around. Just reflects the group I'm forced to socialise with I suppose. I still go to Phnom Penh and Pattaya for blatant sex tourism, so I perhaps fit a bit in both camps. The no ties fun group, and understanding the relationship needers too. Am I sitting on too many fences? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kahuna Posted August 26, 2012 Share Posted August 26, 2012 Am I sitting on too many fences? As long as you can remain balanced on your fence Ken and not fall off...They say that falling is the painless part...it's the sudden stop that hurts...I suppose they are right... I lost my balance long ago...I lost it along with my youth... I just ended...well, earlier this year...a two-year "relationship" with a sweet ladyboy...I miss "it" and I miss her...She is indeed a pretty pretty boy... So I sit here in the USA visiting with old friends, taking care of my property and tending to my health...They all provide an excuse to remain here for a spell and not think much about Thailand and her...and to practice my balancing skills again...and most importantly, to avoid that sudden stop... So if there is room on your fence Ken, when I return, I hope to join you... 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
deepthroat Posted August 26, 2012 Share Posted August 26, 2012 Sorry to hear that Kahuna, you seemed very happy. I'm sure you'll get your mojo back soon enough though, and we all know the LB's love you (and no, I'm not "taking the piss" - they really do love him as he apparently treats them well). There's always exceptions to every rule. I think of you and a handful of other guys as "exceptions" to the general warning about LB love, as you guys know what you're getting involved in and go in with your eyes open. It's the poor schmucks that don't have a clue that are the targets of the majority of the posts about this topic. Speaking of the schmuks though: I've often wondered how a seemingly sensible guy could lose his brain and fall for the bullshit and scams that we hear about so often on the forums. Then I had a meet-up with an old buddy here in The States that made me realize that loneliness and isolation can make a guys brains turn to mush if left to his own devices. My buddy is in his early 60's, pudgy, and about 5'6" so he's relatively short. Nice enough guy and a great earner, lived through 20 years of a loveless (and mostly sexless) marriage to a Chinese woman that finally (mercifully) ended in divorce 3 years ago. He's been sending me emails every once in a while about online dating and the 20&30-something hotties that want to marry him, and I've always thought he was joking and realized it's a scam. Sadly not true though. Saw him 3 weeks ago and he showed me pics of a beautiful 32 year old lass, says they're getting married in a couple of months "when she gets back to the States". He's even told his sons he's marrying her. Oh - and she's worth $50 million dollars. Her father had a multi-national shoe mfg. business and extensive property holdings. IN NIGERIA. I tried to gently tell him he had fucking rocks and spiders where his brains should be but he refused to believe me. I even found a website detailing "online dating scams" (which mentioned many of the "warning signs" he's already experienced) but he is so deluded he's unable to see what's as clear as the nose on his face. As of this writing she's 2 weeks late in returning from her trip to Nigeria to "close up her Dad's properties" but my buddy isn't in the least deterred. He still tells anyone that will listen that his pudgy balding little ass is going to marry this 32 year old millionairess after she gets back here in another week (and then another week, and then another....) Oh, and yes - he's never actually met her. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
4:17 Posted August 27, 2012 Share Posted August 27, 2012 Wow, DT, that's too bad about your friend. If he won't listen to you, does he have any family or siblings that might be able to knock some sense into his head? Seems pretty clear from what you said that it has to be a scam ... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KenW Posted August 27, 2012 Share Posted August 27, 2012 As long as you can remain balanced on your fence Ken and not fall off.. So if there is room on your fence Ken, when I return, I hope to join you... Mate, good to hear from you. There's plenty of room on my fence, even if a bit rickety. Welcome. Nice view from up here. I hope all goes well at home, and even more I hope when you return to SEAsia it will be with a refreshed and regenerated spirit and a thirst for some G&Ts with an old faggot like me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kahuna Posted August 27, 2012 Share Posted August 27, 2012 Sorry to hear that Kahuna, you seemed very happy. I'm sure you'll get your mojo back soon enough though, Thanks for the kinds words DT...For the most part I was happy..."Love" was never part of the equation and she was very low maintenance...I simply realized that I've grown way too old to continue the game...And I am genuinely enjoying being responsible for just me... Now your buddy ain't gonna listen to anyone...He needs that painful landing...For some that's the only way to learn...So when he falls just try not to say "I told you so." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kahuna Posted August 27, 2012 Share Posted August 27, 2012 I hope all goes well at home, and even more I hope when you return to SEAsia it will be with a refreshed and regenerated spirit and a thirst for some G&Ts with an old faggot like me. This old gay Dicksucker can taste the G&Ts already...Save a spot of the fence for me... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TTChang Posted August 27, 2012 Share Posted August 27, 2012 I took a girl from Obsessions a couple years back, based on a suggestion from my buddy TT Chang ... and when I finally did squeeze out a load after 30 minutes of sweating and panting it just seemed like so much........WORK! I said to myself at that time "was that really worth it?" and the clear answer was no, it wasn't. But i still find it hard to believe my sex life could be over at age 50; while here in the states I don't mind at all, but I'd like to do some hunting again in the Land of Ladyboys some day! Ah, yes, that was the night you said 'TT dont tell me if you've been with anyone in this bar, cos it would put me right off having sex with them'. (Fair comment!) Then insisted that you took one I recommended for being 'good in the loom'. Sorry, seems your first thought was right after all!! I too am thinking of hanging up my boots for the LB/bar scene (now being a complete lightweight). But if JaiDee gets his appetite back, I'm ready to re-energise as wingman (with zero discussion about my past barfines). Or join Kahuna on that fence! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SiamSam Posted August 27, 2012 Share Posted August 27, 2012 I too am thinking of hanging up my boots for the LB/bar scene (now being a complete lightweight). But if JaiDee gets his appetite back, I'm ready to re-energise as wingman (with zero discussion about my past barfines). Or join Kahuna on that fence! No place to hang your boots TT. You'll just have to keep stomping'. And if you ever end up on the fence I am sure some fine sweet little gal will come along and pull you off. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tomcat Posted August 27, 2012 Share Posted August 27, 2012 There are "sensible guys" out there that get snaggled and fucked up . Sometimes one cant help that the "Rational Brain Dept." gets switched off . It not like a business decison falling for some Sweety is it , probably a bit more chemical and i doubt if free will has a lot to do with it. Practicaly every 6 months a book is published on this very subject... Some guys cant spot the danger signals , or can but bury them as some inconvenient truth most/many/ a lot off men are not rational when it comes to things sexual , i think thats the message. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KenW Posted August 27, 2012 Share Posted August 27, 2012 This old gay Dicksucker can taste the G&Ts already...Save a spot of the fence for me... Always. I have this day labelled the spot "K" for you & only you, my friend. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SiamSam Posted August 27, 2012 Share Posted August 27, 2012 Don't forget TT Chang who is also thinking of perching next to you guys. The fence members are getting interesting. Might consider hanging out there myself. Mr. Ken, looks like you've started a movement. We can call ourselves the "Fencers" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JaiDee Posted August 27, 2012 Share Posted August 27, 2012 As Im wired differently and also not looking for a long term serious relationship or a rescue misson and cant ever see that changing, I am definately in the right country as it gives me the opportunity to have the type of relationships with LB's that I love to be involved in... short term and plenty of choice. LOVE that line! And have never heard it before..... agreed, it's not our job to rescue some girl because she grew up in some Issan craphole and now has to work as a prostitute to make ends meet, and when some falang comes along it's now up to us to care for them, as well as Mama back on the farm and uncle and sister, little brother at school, etc......as they would say to us, "for what?" I couldn't even imagine in a million years that if I was in a relationship with a Thai ladyboy and then she won the lottery and was now worth a couple million US that she would 'take care' of my family back in the states. IMO she'd look at me like I had 2 heads if I asked her for some dough, and would then proceed to spend all her cash on her OWN family; and rightfully so! So why should we be any different, just because we are worth more than they are? Family number one, whether you live in Asia or America or anywhere else in the world; but some westerners spend hundreds of thousands of baht on their beloved, buying them baubles and shoes, buying them out of a bar and paying the mortgage for the family in Nong Khai while their own kids or parents back in the states are barely getting by. Warped priorities, just in the hope of getting some constant nookie; weird. Agree with this line also; ''short term and plenty of choice.'' Right, with so many beautiful LB's and ladies around, why stick with just one? From what I have seen over the years that only leads to drama and trouble and a bad break-up somewhere down the road; playing the field is much easier, better on the wallet and allows you your freedom whenever you want it. I don't think you are wired differently Foggy, speaking for just myself I agree with your take 100% and I think the more time westerners spend in Thailand, the more they would start to feel the same way that we do. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kahuna Posted August 27, 2012 Share Posted August 27, 2012 ...playing the field is much easier, better on the wallet ... Playing the field is neither easier nor less expensive...Staying with one pretty boy for 3 to 6 months is much less expensive than going out every evening to a ladyboy bar, buying drinks, paying barfines and paying the LB... A whole lot less expensive... And if you think that most guys with a long-term partner are trying to save their partners from the village you are likewise wrong...Nearly everyone I know with a long-term partner, is not a savior... 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
randiuno Posted August 27, 2012 Share Posted August 27, 2012 .. some westerners spend hundreds of thousands of baht on their beloved, buying them baubles and shoes, buying them out of a bar and paying the mortgage for the family in Nong Khai while their own kids or parents back in the states are barely getting by. Warped priorities, just in the hope of getting some constant nookie; weird. Hey Jai...I have heard the phrase "rescue mission" before, and the truth is most of the girls don't want to be rescued! However, that being said...I have a relative that spent more on her pet cat over the years than I ever spent on ladyboys....I guess everybody has there things.... "Here Kitty, Kitty, Kitty...Daddy has some milk for you" Randi Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
duke007 Posted August 27, 2012 Share Posted August 27, 2012 Damm, thats another word our American cousins spell wrong... "savior" , what is it with you Yanks missing out the "u" in words Great post Kahuna Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JaiDee Posted August 27, 2012 Share Posted August 27, 2012 Playing the field is neither easier nor less expensive...Staying with one pretty boy for 3 to 6 months is much less expensive than going out every evening to a ladyboy bar, buying drinks, paying barfines and paying the LB... A whole lot less expensive... Who said anything about going out every evening? Guys who do that deserve to be broke, especially if they live in Thailand for part or all of any given year. I don't know, I have seen many guys over the years who spend serious money on their girls, trying to buy their love with gifts and home improvements back in the village, while guys who play the field just have to pay for the occasional sexual experience. If you and a few other guys have found low-maintenance girls who don't expect anything more from you than companionship, good one on you! Seriously Kahuna, I'd be happy for you and those other guys because IMO they are rare diamonds indeed. Based on years and years of reading these message boards and letters in my Inbox have shown me that a lot of the guys with girlfriends have gone broke over the years supporting them; Natalie's Norwegian boyfriend and Chompoo's husband, the guys Aon and Pop took to the cleaners and a handful of others come to mind immediately. While the mongers always seem to have enough dough to go back to Thailand a few times a year and screw their brains out with no commitments. As always, your mileage may vary, and many issues bring raised in this thread may be different depending on how long a person stays in Thailand every year. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
deepthroat Posted August 28, 2012 Share Posted August 28, 2012 Here in The States, the working girls (especially the street girls) have a special term of endearment for the "savior/saviour" (happy now Duke?) guys. They call them "Captain Save-A-Ho". It's a very specific phenomenon, lots of psychology behind it, but bottom line is some poor sap decides he's going to save the poor girl from a life of misery, drug addiction and abuse and turn her into a middle-class housewife. Never works that way and the guy doesn't realize the girls don't seem him as their rescuer, they see him as the naive ATM he is. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
randiuno Posted August 28, 2012 Share Posted August 28, 2012 Here in The States, the working girls (especially the street girls) have a special term of endearment for the "savior/saviour" (happy now Duke?) guys. They call them "Captain Save-A-Ho". It's a very specific phenomenon, lots of psychology behind it, but bottom line is some poor sap decides he's going to save the poor girl from a life of misery, drug addiction and abuse and turn her into a middle-class housewife. Never works that way and the guy doesn't realize the girls don't seem him as their rescuer, they see him as the naive ATM he is. I have also heard the phrase "Broke Sugar Daddy"....meaning when the money runs out, time to make a ho a housewife. I've been doing this too fucking long.... 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kahuna Posted August 28, 2012 Share Posted August 28, 2012 Who said anything about going out every evening? Guys who do that deserve to be broke, especially if they live in Thailand for part or all of any given year. Sorry JaiDee I didn't mean to put words into your mouth or your fingers but I thought that is what you were implying... I've lived on both sides of the fence and I've watched many others live on one side or the other...From my limited personal experience it is considerably less expensive to find a low maintenance partner to live with rather than to shop the bars...You can't convince me that someone is gonna spend one, two, three or more months in either Pattaya or Bangkok and sit alone in their room 5 nights a week...It don't happen...If there is someone who can live like that, I ain't met him... I agree that the guys who buy houses, etc., etc., for their partners go a bit overboard (OK a whole fucking lot overboard), but in my opinion and experience they are in the minority,,,Not everyone who is with a partner long-term posts on forums about their personal life in Thailand... For now I'm just hoping to hone my balancing skills and join Ken on his fence... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
4:17 Posted August 28, 2012 Share Posted August 28, 2012 You can't convince me that someone is gonna spend one, two, three or more months in either Pattaya or Bangkok and sit alone in their room 5 nights a week...It don't happen...If there is someone who can live like that, I ain't met him... Nice to meet you. Okay, when I lived in Thailand, I didn't live in Bangers or Patts, granted, but Back-of-beyond Buri (aka Suphanburi). But I was only a two-hour bus ride/hour-and-a-half van ride (20 baht vs. 70 baht, if I remember the prices correctly) from Bangkok. Even so, I only went down about once a month to every six weeks or so, whenever the urge got strong (i.e., whenever I caught myself spending an hour or more looking at ladyboy porn ). Granted those weekends -- worked around a Thai holiday when one occurred -- tended to be big blowouts. The occasional weekend I headed down to Hua Hin for a relatively quiet weekend being an exception. My point is, that was enough for me. The rest of the time, I was content -- well, more or less -- to live in a quiet Thai town, where a big weekend out was a couple of Changs, flirting with the shy femboy waitress at one of the local Thai clubs and enjoying the house band or watching footy. Ironically I spent much less time thinking about Thailand and thai food and bar girls and ladyboys than when I lived back home in the United States. Now that I have plans to return to the kingdom next year, it will be interesting to see once I get settled in BKK if I can also settle down to a relatively quiet lifestyle with the occasional blowout every few weeks. We shall see, and I may be wrong, but I think so. When I know it's not far away, I'm not one of those people that feels like he's missing something if he doesn't go out looking for it all the time. It's not a constant temptation; rather, I know that Temptations (heh) will be there whenever I get around to it. Having said that, though, I think you are right, generally speaking. A lot of guys come to Thailand and go absolutely apeshit. Anyone who has lived there has seen it; when I lived in BFEburi, I knew a guy who would head down to Bangkok or Patts *every* weekend, while the rest of the time he spent complaining about how he was paying to work in Thailand. Last I heard he had gone back to the UK so he could ... wait for it ... more easily support his Thai girlfriend (plucked from a bar in Patts, naturally). 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SiamSam Posted August 28, 2012 Share Posted August 28, 2012 4:17 You're friend from the UK sounds like an extremely bright chap. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
4:17 Posted August 28, 2012 Share Posted August 28, 2012 You're friend from the UK sounds like an extremely bright chap. Well, I think it was just like some of the previous posters' have pointed out: an otherwise intelligent guy, who happens to be lonely -- not to mention naive -- and looking for love, convinced that all he has to do is find his soul mate and everything will work out for the best. And he just kind of lost his head. I haven't kept in touch with him, so I don't know how it all turned out. I never met the girl involved either, so I really can't say whether it was "true lub" or he got seriously gamed. I just remember thinking at the time: "here's a guy that's already came to Thailand to live and work because he ostensibly loves it, and is now returning home -- a place he professes to genuinely dislike -- so he can make more money to support a bargirl -- supposedly getting her out of the bar -- back in Thailand, where he wants to be. That's nuckin' futs, that is." But there was no suggesting to him that this might not be a good idea; he made it plain and clear that he didn't want to hear it. There is all sorts of fucked up logic involved in that, that I can't fathom, but I hope it all worked out for the best. Who knows? Maybe they were soul mates and love conquered all. In spite of being a butterfly man and the proverbial loner, I'm also a hopeless romantic who likes happy endings. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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