deepthroat Posted August 29, 2012 Share Posted August 29, 2012 I sometimes wander over to the GG forums (PattayaAddicts in particular) and I've been riveted by a thread that's being posted by a guy detailing his travails in building a house with his thai girl. It's all history now, but he's parcelling the story out in little pieces and it's like watching a slow motion train wreck. Unfortunately you have to be in "advanced" to read it, but I'd suspect a few of you may have the credentials to get in: http://www.pattaya-addicts.com/forum/topic/113208-thinking-of-building-a-house-my-trials-tribulations/ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JaiDee Posted August 29, 2012 Share Posted August 29, 2012 Here in The States, the working girls (especially the street girls) have a special term of endearment for the "savior/saviour" (happy now Duke?) guys. They call them "Captain Save-A-Ho". It's a very specific phenomenon, lots of psychology behind it, but bottom line is some poor sap decides he's going to save the poor girl from a life of misery, drug addiction and abuse and turn her into a middle-class housewife. Never works that way and the guy doesn't realize the girls don't seem him as their rescuer, they see him as the naive ATM he is. What are you saying, "Pretty Woman", which AMC seems to be playing in a continuous loop these days, isn't real? Damn, can't trust Hollywood at all these days! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JaiDee Posted August 29, 2012 Share Posted August 29, 2012 I've been riveted by a thread that's being posted by a guy detailing his travails in building a house with his thai girl. It's all history now, but he's parcelling the story out in little pieces and it's like watching a slow motion train wreck. Funny, DT......never read that forum but quite sure I don't need to see the 'advanced' section to learn about this guys story; I am sure I read dozens exactly like them on my own forum between 2001 and 2010 and none of them turned out well. Stories in my Inbox were even more frequent, and just as sad; at least no one ever blamed me for giving them the number or e-mail of the person who eventually burned them, but it seems that they felt it gave them license to share their woes with me later on. Level of caring from my end = non existent yawwwwwwwn Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
deepthroat Posted August 29, 2012 Share Posted August 29, 2012 I hear you JaiDee. For me it's like the nasty little urge to look at the carnage on the other side of the highway as I'm passing a horrific wreck - I know I don't need to see it, I know I'll probably regret it later, but I cannot resist the urge. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kahuna Posted August 29, 2012 Share Posted August 29, 2012 Why do you guys care so much about how others spend their money? And don't tell me you don't care or you wouldn't be so judgemental in your posts... Seems to me...and I do recall having these kind of discussions on your old forum JaiDee...that folks should be able to spend the money they earned any way they like... Some only like to pay 500 baht for long-time...Some 3000 baht or more... Some won't buy a ladyboy a meal...Some buy them houses and their own bars,,, And some like to gamble it away on the poker table or the stock market... Why does it matter to you? Answer me that and I'll tell you how to make the moon stand still... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
glasswax Posted August 29, 2012 Share Posted August 29, 2012 Mardhi - short term lease. Right on Randi - Be careful on bringing somebody back I believe we make a big mistake by expecting Thais (same Lao & Cambodia) to have the same values we have and feel sorry for them when played by a falang. I believe that love and relationship, including marriage have a totaly different meaning in the Asian culture than what we are used to, and I believe that our beloved LB's are not so much jaded but do what comes natural to them. Remember the words "I am looking for somebody to take care of me". Its not looking for eternal love, its simply looking for security and money is security and more money is more security. I happen to have some insight in the local non P4P Thai / Laotion community here in the US and I see older men importing young wifes from Asia. The young wifes come for a better future not for love and leave the old men when established in the country and can stand on their own or when she finds a better prospect, Old man goes back to Asia to bring back an other young wife and so on. Marriage just does not seem to have the same meaning we are used to and lets not forget the first loyalty is not to the husband but to the parents. In most cases I believe the LB or Asian GG will look at a falang husband as a means to get what they want materialy. How is that any different from the guys gaming the girls. I believe the only one who is getting a raw deal is the poor guy who is falling in love with a Thai LB or GG and expexts true love, honesty and a long term comitment. This is very sad, but quite true often enough. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
glasswax Posted August 29, 2012 Share Posted August 29, 2012 This may sound strange to all the mongers here, but in a way I feel fortunate that my libido has kind of gone south in the past few years and these days I don't even bother anymore, and certainly not with relationships. I was just in Pattaya for about 10 weeks and didn't have sex with even one person, female or male or in-between and didn't give a toss either way. And, ummmmm, they certainly were available, it was low season! But even when I was much more active, say between 2000 and 2005, I only ever had ONE 'girlfriend', for about a year, and we both cheated on each other constantly so in reality how real was that? Every Thai has an angle, every single one, with us westerners. Sorry but I don't believe some of the stories I see about how "she really did/does love me and after a year or 2 still doesn't want anything from me" .....give it some more time and eventually the bomb will get dropped on you, if for no other reason due to pressure from her family. Keep in mind everyone is different, but I don't want to be part of any 'game'; I like my bed to myself, and sex is no big deal to me. I keep my phone off most of the time and don't want to be bombarded with messages and calls from people in "the game" when it is on, and the accent also drives me nuts after a while; I hear men my age explaining things to their girlfriends like a 5-year old and I don't want to be that guy. I like Thailand for the good weather and the cheapness factor and the fact they have so many nice beaches. The food is decent also. Relationships? Ehhh. Well said JD. And a word to punters, don't talk to a Thai the same way she talks to you. She feels slighted because she knows what correct Englsih should sound like even though she can't always say things that way.Glass 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
glasswax Posted August 29, 2012 Share Posted August 29, 2012 Don't forget TT Chang who is also thinking of perching next to you guys. The fence members are getting interesting. Might consider hanging out there myself. Mr. Ken, looks like you've started a movement. We can call ourselves the "Fencers" They way I feel these days, maybe KenW needs to enlarge that fence for us foggies. Glass Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pdogg Posted August 29, 2012 Share Posted August 29, 2012 And a word to punters, don't talk to a Thai the same way she talks to you. She feels slighted because she knows what correct Englsih should sound like even though she can't always say things that way. An interesting topic for in depth discussion Glass! I just started a new thread about it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
glasswax Posted August 29, 2012 Share Posted August 29, 2012 Damm, thats another word our American cousins spell wrong... "savior" , what is it with you Yanks missing out the "u" in words Great post Kahuna That is because Noah Webster cleaned up the language and tossed out all the unnecessary letters to simplify spelling and made life much easier for one and all. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JaiDee Posted August 29, 2012 Share Posted August 29, 2012 And a word to punters, don't talk to a Thai the same way she talks to you. She feels slighted because she knows what correct Englsih should sound like even though she can't always say things that way. Agreed.....I added my thoughts to PD's new thread on this subject. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JaiDee Posted August 29, 2012 Share Posted August 29, 2012 Why do you guys care so much about how others spend their money? Why does it matter to you? It doesn't matter to me anymore.....as I said, I used to try and save these guys from the inevitable train wreck they were heading for, but it became an impossible task after a while; I realized it was like trying to hold back water from New Orleans during a hurricane, simply not possible. This forum is much smaller, much less readers and not so many rookies and new-ish guys.....so I am not lecturing or trying to save anyone's soul [or dough], just stating my thoughts on these matters. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
deepthroat Posted August 29, 2012 Share Posted August 29, 2012 Why do you guys care so much about how others spend their money? And don't tell me you don't care or you wouldn't be so judgemental in your posts... Seems to me...and I do recall having these kind of discussions on your old forum JaiDee...that folks should be able to spend the money they earned any way they like... Some only like to pay 500 baht for long-time...Some 3000 baht or more... Some won't buy a ladyboy a meal...Some buy them houses and their own bars,,, And some like to gamble it away on the poker table or the stock market... Why does it matter to you? Answer me that and I'll tell you how to make the moon stand still... Kahuna, I honestly think the reason I'm drawn to (and disturbed by) tales of guys getting taken to the cleaners by clearly deceitful golddiggers is simple: Deep down inside I'm afraid it could happen to me. Same reason I get all squirmy when a tv show or movie shows a character I like being really stupid or embarrassing. There's an element of "putting yourself in their shoes" that I participate in with most forms of entertainment, and I think this is another facet of that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kahuna Posted August 29, 2012 Share Posted August 29, 2012 I'm sorry DT...I didn't intend to put anyone on the spot for an answer...It was intended as a rhetorical question... But you did give an honest and fair answer...and I suppose there is probably some of those thoughts in all of us...The world on the other side of the mirror... if it is worth anything DT, in my opinion, it ain't ever gonna happen to you... I also apologize, I really don't know how to make the moon stand still... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KenW Posted August 31, 2012 Share Posted August 31, 2012 They way I feel these days, maybe KenW needs to enlarge that fence for us foggies. Glass Glass, the fence, like all good series, is infinite. Plenty of room for all. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pdogg Posted August 31, 2012 Share Posted August 31, 2012 like all good series, is infinite. which is a cunthair less than 1, the loneliest number. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tomcat Posted August 31, 2012 Share Posted August 31, 2012 I also apologize, I really don't know how to make the moon stand still... Just hitch a ride on the next Spaceship heading there. I think its the Chinese Taikanaut2 n 2020 .. you stand on the moon your relative velocity will be zero and problem solved Good to see you back on line. When you going back to the LoSmiles Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kahuna Posted September 1, 2012 Share Posted September 1, 2012 Just hitch a ride on the next Spaceship heading there. I think its the Chinese Taikanaut2 n 2020 .. you stand on the moon your relative velocity will be zero and problem solved Good to see you back on line. When you going back to the LoSmiles Tonight is a Blue Moon...You know, "Once in a blue moon." It ain't actually blue, it's just that it is the 2nd time this month (August) that we have a full moon...Kinda cool... I should be back January or so for my next tour of duty... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KenW Posted September 1, 2012 Share Posted September 1, 2012 I should be back January or so for my next tour of duty... Grand. I should be there for 5 days or so in Jan-Feb to attend GOTC III. I said Blue Moon of Kentucky wontcha keep on shinun... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pdogg Posted September 1, 2012 Share Posted September 1, 2012 Tonight is a Blue Moon...You know, "Once in a blue moon." It ain't actually blue, it's just that it is the 2nd time this month (August) that we have a full moon...Kinda cool... Full Moon party on Ko Phangan is on Sept 1st even though the moon was full on Aug 31st. Moon is only full on September 1st in New Zealand and points east to the international date line, not to be confused with match dot com. Now even though the moon was officially full on Aug 31st in the States that happened in the daytime and the moon was fuller for more of the evening of Aug 30th than of August 31, which is what should really matter. Should I wake up and enjoy the espresso? Last night I did admire the full moon in the jungle while the DJ pumped techno to backpackers and flashpackers fueled with buckets that hopefully were DEET free. A beautiful site to behold! And I notice that warm full moon nights do seem to energize people. Mother Nature has power. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beijo Posted September 1, 2012 Share Posted September 1, 2012 DT- Good posts and yes it can happen. I am well past 50 and fairly cynical about love and particular about Thai love. However I do have a non P4P GG Thai girlfriend now for over 2 years. It's an amazing experience and I would not want to miss it. Yes, I give her money, an amount about equal to what I would spend mongering, she does not ask for it. I do have to remind myself constantly that she may have an ulterior motive but sofar this has not surfaced. No, I will not be her source of income nor am I husband material and I made that clear to her, but like I said above I do value and enjoy this relationship with both eyes open. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
deepthroat Posted September 2, 2012 Share Posted September 2, 2012 Good on you Beijo. If it feels good, and you're aware of the potential consequences, then it's all good. A friend of mine years ago gave me what may have been the best advice I ever received regarding a relationship. I started dating this girl who was quite a bit of a space cadet, and my buddy said "you going out with her now?" I told him that yes I was, and then asked him what he thought of the two of us as a couple. He looked me in the eye and said "relationships are great, as long as you know how to end them if you need to." 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beijo Posted September 2, 2012 Share Posted September 2, 2012 The point I am trying to make is, dont disregard possible longer term relationships in Thailand, They can be rewarding. BUT KEEP YOUR EYES OPEN. Dont make it a game and dont promise or imply something you dont intend to keep. Last but not least remember that love has a different meaning in Thailand than what we are used to. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lefty Posted September 3, 2012 Share Posted September 3, 2012 Nice to meet you. Okay, when I lived in Thailand, I didn't live in Bangers or Patts, granted, but Back-of-beyond Buri (aka Suphanburi). But I was only a two-hour bus ride/hour-and-a-half van ride (20 baht vs. 70 baht, if I remember the prices correctly) from Bangkok. Even so, I only went down about once a month to every six weeks or so, whenever the urge got strong (i.e., whenever I caught myself spending an hour or more looking at ladyboy porn ). Granted those weekends -- worked around a Thai holiday when one occurred -- tended to be big blowouts. The occasional weekend I headed down to Hua Hin for a relatively quiet weekend being an exception. I was wondering whether you speak Thai? IMO, if one were to live out in the provinces somewhere, unless they did speak Thai, they'd go crazy. Speaking for myself of course. Other than Bkk, Pattaya, Phuket, Chiang Mai, or any of the other places with a large expat population or lots of tourists passing through, we are at a big disadvantage if we cannot speak Thai at a conversational level. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
4:17 Posted September 3, 2012 Share Posted September 3, 2012 I was wondering whether you speak Thai? IMO, if one were to live out in the provinces somewhere, unless they did speak Thai, they'd go crazy. ... Not really. I learned what I call "survival Thai" -- how to order my favorite dishes in a restaurant -- making sure I get it spicy and not the falang-friendly version, giving directions to a cab driver, things like that. But not enough to carry on a meaningful conversation purely in Thai. And I think you are absolutely right; after six months I needed to get back to the big city, as I didn't have much in common with the five -- count 'em, five -- other falang that lived in town. That's why I'm making more of a concerted effort these days to learn Vietnamese and Thai; unfortunately I'm not a polyglot and it comes slowly to my middle-aged brain. But until I can carry on a conversation with a native speaker beyond the "how-are-you-what's-your-name" type of conversations, I'll stick to the big cities for day-to-day living. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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