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"I know I can trust her." v "I think I can trust her."


bumblebee

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I am sure more than a few guys here have been in or are in relationships with LBs from various backgrounds.  Everything is fine and well when you are with her, but when you are away how do you feel? 

 

Are you confident enough in your relationship to believe "I know i can trust her." or are you more realistic and live with the "I think I can trust her." mind set.

 

Personally I am always in the latter category, even now, and although things seem rosy in most gardens I am sure many of us have that element of doubt niggling away in the backs of our minds.

 

 

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Guest sustra

Well, I know I can trust her to have a gang bang with 7 other guys, but she won't allow them to take pictures...does that count?

a gang bang with 7 guys??????? Nahhhh 7 guys at a time...it is more profit making

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I'm certainly not a cynic but I would work from the premise of never trusting and then you won't get disillusioned .

 

I have seen and heard too much to be convinced otherwise .

 

When money is involved temptation is always there , I've seen well sponsored girls throw it all away for a 1000 baht short time they just can't help themselves . 

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are  your reservations more because she is an LB ( are they more likely to stray than ggs ?) ,because shes Thai or is it 6 of one half dozen of the other ?

No personal reservations regarding the topic GT, just a general though regarding how guys feel when away from their other half.  You hear guys saying from time to time that they trust the girl 100%, but how can they be so sure, especially like Jimslim says, if they are from a p4p background and there is the lure of easy cash on offer.

 

As someone once said the only person you can really trust in the world is your mother.

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I think the best way to deal with a long distance relationship when your away from your honey is to have the agreed contact and chats, skype etc but don't  go looking for clues or make a fuss about any doubts u have.

 

U may argue and annoy her into doing some thing she otherwise wouldn't have considered.

 

Chances are u would never find out the whole truth any way and what u don't know dosen't hurt u.

 

If of course u do find out she cheated then deal with it as u will.  But this is was what u took on when taking on a long distance relationship and unless u have the IQ of a flip flop would have known that.  

 

Ex P4P girl's in the same situation ?  well u could probably bet on it happening but then unless your 12 would have known that too.

 

Chances are u aren't as good looking as her so u maybe wanking over her..... but she for sure isn't wanking over u    :movethatass:

 

Hope I haven't put any doubt in anyone's mind   :crazy:

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  But this is was what u took on when taking on a long distance relationship and unless u have the IQ of a flip flop would have known that.  

 

 

 

  I seem to remember a whole lot of these guys - surely dozens but more than likely hundreds - while reading these various forums over the years.   The ''but, but, my girl is different'' crowd......you can't talk sense into these guys because they simply don't have any.

 

  If it's not a hooker maybe some of these relationships can work;  but if a guy falls for a hooker then finds out she is cheating on him, you have to ask ''what did you really expect?"  The other phenomena I always found odd were the guys who expected their beloved to be faithful and honest to them, but as soon as they go back to Thailand they say "I am heading down to Pattaya for a week first, to have some fun before meeting up with my girlfriend''......so, it's perfectly fine for them to cheat,  but if the hooker cheats on them all hell breaks loose.  Not getting it.

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   The other phenomena I always found odd were the guys who expected their beloved to be faithful and honest to them, but as soon as they go back to Thailand they say "I am heading down to Pattaya for a week first, to have some fun before meeting up with my girlfriend''......so, it's perfectly fine for them to cheat,  but if the hooker cheats on them all hell breaks loose.  Not getting it.

 

Yeh always an interesting one that .

 

I also used to be amused by the guys who allowed their "girlfriends" to go with certain guys provided they were long term customers already vetted by them .

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I loved and lived with a GG from a short time bar for about a year. Thought somehow it would all work out and true love would prevail. They were "only customer" after all. Then I realised I was customer number one.  Slept a lot better after she was gone. They are whores and nothing more. You are always a "customer", just maybe number one. Like them and lust after them but make no mistake, you are just a customer, maybe gold pass level.

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While it is true a p4p lb is likely less likely trustworthy, trust is a 2 way street. It has to be earned - so if you are doing things that aren't trustworthy, how can you expect her to to be trustworthy?

 

I think it is possible, but it needs a lot of communication, dedication and work from both parties.

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Seen today on ThaiVisa.......the topic was some farang who wants to move from New Jersey to Thailand to live with his teelac, this was the reply from a Thai man......and he's not even talking about hookers!

If a Thai can't trust a Thai, how do farangs stand a chance?

 

 

''I am a Thai man and I can't even trust my own Thai gf.. Can't understand why many many farangs are willing to trust Thai ladies. I lived and still doing business in North Carolina but retired here in Thailand''

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Guest JustSumGai

JD is on the money. Not knowing the language is big. They KNOW you won't be able to find out things, other Thai won't betray them to farang.  They'll always play the No Habla game.  IF they do stop and look at you while you are asking questions, they've got a ton of time to think of an answer and even then know they can tell you "you know my English is not good, I not mean what you think".  Plus you sure as shit ain't gonna understand anything you overhear her and buds talking about. They might be talking about how she took ten guys last weekend. Trust? one would have to be delusional.

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.  They'll always play the No Habla game.  IF they do stop and look at you while you are asking questions, they've got a ton of time to think of an answer and even then know they can tell you "you know my English is not good, I not mean what you think"

 

  Yeah, this is another phenomenon  I have discovered over the years;  selective knowledge of English!

 

    You can be hanging out with a girl who you KNOW speaks perfect English because she has proven it to you many, many times. And yet, when an uncomfortable topic comes up, all of a sudden it's "sorry, I speak English nid-noi, na?" Gotcha.

 

   I have no idea why guys get blinded here;  if someone goes to Russia or Japan and doesn't speak the language, would you really trust anyone?  Of course not, you would be wary and constantly on guard.....but some 20-year old farm girl who is telling them what they want to hear changes everything. Suddenly Lek is not only trustworthy, but the guy has fallen deeply in love and will pretty much do anything for her.  The power of love, or at least lust, is very strong in Thailand.

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  • 4 years later...

I have been wrestling with he initial premise of this forum late. My conclusion is that I trust her word 99% of the time and don't trust it 1%. Seems like a lot of trust, but the emotional consequences of that 1% have a disproportionate impact on my emotional response. So even though she is mature and not likely to find another western gentleman who is respectful and reasonably generous with her family, I can get very upset by the trust-not trust dilemma with my focus on the not-trust 1%.

She and I had been in a committed relationship for almost 4 years, although we lived about 10000 kms apart and saw each other 4 times a year.

She is a 41 year old Filipina ladyboy with a dynamite body, a lovely smile, and a very adventuresome spirit. We met when she was an escort and twice during our 4 years together she has placed ads online to attract business because the allowance that I was sending her was insufficient to meet her financial needs. (She can still turn heads and attract clients if she wants.) 

Interesting side note: I discovered her first ad because her client posted photos on his Facebook account and they showed up on the Mixed Nuts Facebook page that he and I were both connected to. I discovered the second ad, two years later, when another Manila ladyboy that I knew, ratted her out. No honor amongst ......

But I digress.

The reality in my situation was that she is very devoted to the welfare of her family. If she gets money from any source, she rarely spends it on herself. And because her family is poor, this is almost a survival issue. I know that she does not enjoy being an escort, but both she and her ladyboy sister will do it in order to fulfill their responsibilities to their family.

The Lesson:

What the relationship led me to conclude is that if we enter into committed relationships with ladyboys, and more specifically those who were/are escorts, we are going to have lots of doubts. If we don't, I think we are being foolish and unrealistic. Or, we are managing our expectations so as not to be hurt or surprised. But these ladyboys are all human beings and many of them that I have met are struggling economically with no other career opportunities. They are human beings struggling to survive.

As one who worships at the altars of Charles Darwin and Adam Smith, I have to respect that, regardless of how much it might distress me.

If her choice is between no food on the table because of concerns about my emotional state, versus food on the table because she fucked one of you miscreants, she better take you and she better tell me the juicy details. :clapping:

Just be nice and respectful to that very special human being.

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  • 1 month later...
On 4/19/2014 at 8:14 AM, JaiDee said:

  I have no idea why guys get blinded here;  if someone goes to Russia or Japan and doesn't speak the language, would you really trust anyone?  Of course not, you would be wary and constantly on guard.....but some 20-year old farm girl who is telling them what they want to hear changes everything. Suddenly Lek is not only trustworthy, but the guy has fallen deeply in love and will pretty much do anything for her.  The power of love, or at least lust, is very strong in Thailand.

No doubt there are guys in the hotspots of Thailand feeling this very way as I type. The other half’s niece was engaged within 5 days to a young guy who was visiting Los for the first time a couple of years back.  

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4 hours ago, rxpharm said:

Is this the same niece who was working at Hooters?

The very same Rx,  she was on cam with him after the engagement and he said we’d have to come to Sacramento for the wedding.  The young guy was obviously caught up in the whole holiday romance thingy and had no idea how difficult it would be for all involved to get visas for the States organized.  Needles to say it all fizzled out within weeks of him going home and getting back to reality.

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I've been seeing an lb in a real relationship. And I've come to the conclusion that I can never trust her fully. Constant cloak and dagger stuff. Always trying to catch me out. Always vague about where she is and what she's doing. Lots and lots of little lies that are seemingly meaningless, but when considered over a period of time can only mean she thinks I'm a soft twat.

I would love to catch her on the game, but sadly, I don't think she is. 

Single is the way to be I reckon.

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7 hours ago, redrock said:

Constant cloak and dagger stuff. Always trying to catch me out. Always vague about where she is and what she's doing. Lots and lots of little lies that are seemingly meaningless, but when considered over a period of time can only mean she thinks I'm a soft twat.

Do you reckon this is because you are both in Thailand, the land of suspicious minds.  If you were both in another part of the world do you think there would be less of the cloak and dagger stuff?

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9 hours ago, bumblebee said:

Do you reckon this is because you are both in Thailand, the land of suspicious minds.  If you were both in another part of the world do you think there would be less of the cloak and dagger stuff?

IMO much of these problems are due to lack of communication.  My Thai is extremely poor.  My better half's English is not so good.   So it is difficult to really talk things out in a way I would do with girlfriends in the States.  Of course there are also a boatload of problems with Western women, lol.

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