Jokes Thread

[duke007]

[duke007]

[duke007]

One day a Jew, a Hindu, and a scouser all arrived at their hotel to find that there had been a mix-up with the bookings, and that there was only one room left for them to share.

 

The manager explained that this room only had two beds, but that there was a barn at a neighbouring farm which the farmer, an old friend of his, would let one of them sleep in free of charge.

 

They complained a bit, but since there was nowhere else to go, the Jew graciously said he’d sleep in the barn.

 

The Hindu and the scouser were just settling down to sleep in their room, when there was a knock on the door. It was the Jew.

 

“I’m sorry,” he said, “but there’s a pig in that barn and because I’m Jewish I feel uncomfortable about sharing the barn with it.” “No problem,” said the Hindu. “I’ll sleep out there instead.”

 

So off he went to the barn, leaving the scouser and the Jew to share the room.

 

They were just settling down to sleep, when there was a knock on the door. It was the Hindu.

 

“I’m sorry,” he said, “but there’s a cow in that barn and because I’m a Hindu I feel uncomfortable about sharing the barn with it.”

 

The scouser grudgingly agreed to give up his bed and stomped off to the barn, leaving the Jew and the Hindu to share the room.

 

The Jew and the Hindu were just settling down to sleep, when there was a knock on the door.

 

It was the cow and the pig.

[duke007]

 

[Woodie]

[seven]

[duke007]

[duke007]

[duke007]

[duke007]

[Woodie]

On 7/17/2022 at 8:04 PM, duke007 said:

Now that is so funny and straight to the point. Over here it has gone to extremes. I think the advertising agencies must hang out at the airports waiting for new arrivals that are coloured people and interviewing them for parts in adverts. Out of a block of 4 or 5 adverts on tv, 3 or 4 would have a person of mixed race with frizzy hair playing a part. Nobody could complain if there were a proportional amount used but it is now way over the top. I guess it is 2022 and we have to accept that things are not what they once were, but having it forced upon everyone is taking it too far. Since when have advertising companies been the purveyors of what is politically correct?.

[duke007]

[duke007]

[Rom]

brilliant lyrics.  it's worth the 4 minutes...

"Fuck Me in The Ass 'cause I Love Jesus"  age-restricted so no screenshot below.   Just click and go to youtube....

 

[Quietguy]

[duke007]

[seven]

Edit: I believe I posted this in wrong section. Sorry. Please move or delete it, Mod.
 

LR, come on. Only £ 8000 , you get same bag as the child.

Yeah, money in football is healthy. Anyone who can argue this is ok when people are in line to food banks in the same city.

I realise  the boy will never understand this, as he’s a bit special , but hopefully his caretaker/agent/daddy can  subsidize his allowance a bit more careful.

https://www.thesun.co.uk/sport/19448818/erling-haaland-man-city-louis-vuitton-travel-bag/

[sydneyjohn57]

4 hours ago, duke007 said:

Please explain! Is it an 'in' joke of some sort?

[duke007]

2 hours ago, sydneyjohn57 said:

Please explain! Is it an 'in' joke' of some sort?

The old school fans of Manchester United and City will definitely get it , so yeah probably more of an 'in' joke. 

[Lone Ranger]

3 hours ago, duke007 said:

The old school fans of Manchester United and City will definitely get it , so yeah probably more of an 'in' joke. 

I’m surprised they never asked me on to the jury 

[Ashoka]

[Lone Ranger]

6 hours ago, Ashoka said:

USA

[Lone Ranger]

Yeah I’m talking about you lot

[seven]

[Woodie]

On 8/12/2022 at 4:51 AM, Lone Ranger said:

Yeah I’m talking about you lot

Now that is funny!. And true.