Pulci Gorgon Posted March 17, 2021 Share Posted March 17, 2021 The cartoon that UK didn't like 2 1 Quote Link to comment
Woodie Posted March 30, 2021 Share Posted March 30, 2021 On 3/20/2021 at 8:57 PM, BigTel said: I needed to read this one. Very funny. Just had a phone call from NZ to say one of my best mates has passed away. Walked out to his car and just fell over!. I guess if you have to go, that is a good way. He was fit as a fiddle, skinny and still worked. He was 78 but looked like he was 60. You never know do you?. 2 Quote Link to comment
BigTel Posted March 31, 2021 Share Posted March 31, 2021 9 hours ago, Woodie said: He was fit as a fiddle, skinny and still worked. He was 78 but looked like he was 60. You never know do you?. Exactly Woodie ! That's why it's important to live every moment as if it may be your last, never looking back always forward and being grateful for the time that we have. My condolences Woodie on the passing of you best mate. Tel 2 Quote Link to comment
Woodie Posted March 31, 2021 Share Posted March 31, 2021 4 minutes ago, BigTel said: Exactly Woodie ! That's why it's important to live every moment as if it may be your last, never looking back always forward and being grateful for the time that we have. My condolences Woodie on the passing of you best mate. Tel Thanks Tel 1 Quote Link to comment
Woodie Posted April 14, 2021 Share Posted April 14, 2021 Some peoples skills are just too good for words. Guys making the Ferrari prancing horse. 471692176_LogoFerrariparunVerrierdeMuranoBOATP47DF1.mp4 2 Quote Link to comment
Woodie Posted April 17, 2021 Share Posted April 17, 2021 Maybe not a joke but he was a lucky guy! What puzzles me is the seemingly nonreaction from other drivers. Nobody is doing anything! 868406599_Thisiswhatamiraclelookslike1.mp4 2 Quote Link to comment
Duncan Posted April 17, 2021 Share Posted April 17, 2021 12 hours ago, Woodie said: Maybe not a joke but he was a lucky guy! What puzzles me is the seemingly nonreaction from other drivers. Nobody is doing anything! 868406599_Thisiswhatamiraclelookslike1.mp4 4.88 MB · 0 downloads TIT. This isThailand, sad but true. If an accident happens hardly anyone helps. They pull out their phones and film the incident to upload it somwhere in some "social media" bullshit. I actually withnessed a motorbike accident on 2nd Road Pattaya and rushed to help. The Thais dragged me away from the victim to get better shots. It was a Thai, one of their own. I finally managed to make one of them to call an ambulance. 2 Quote Link to comment
Quietguy Posted May 4, 2021 Share Posted May 4, 2021 46 minutes ago, Quinn said: Just for you QG. ! Keep up Quinn! 1 Quote Link to comment
BigTel Posted May 7, 2021 Share Posted May 7, 2021 This is an actual account as relayed to paramedics at a chili cook-off in New Mexico. “Recently, I was honored to be selected as a judge at a chili cook-off. The original person called in sick at the last moment and I happened to be standing there at the judge’s table, asking for directions to the Coors Light truck, when the call came in… I was assured by the other two judges (Native New Mexicans) that the chili wouldn’t be all that spicy; and, besides, they told me I could have free beer during the tasting, so I accepted and became Judge 3.” Here are the scorecard notes from the event: CHILI # 1 – MIKE’S MANIAC MONSTER CHILI Judge # 1 — A little too heavy on the tomato. Amusing kick. Judge # 2 — Nice, smooth tomato flavor. Very mild. Judge # 3 (Frank) — Holy crap, what the hell is this stuff? You could remove dried paint from your driveway. Took me two beers to put the flames out. I hope that’s the worst one. These New Mexicans are crazy. CHILI # 2 – EL RANCHO’S AFTERBURNER CHILI Judge # 1 — Smoky, with a hint of pork. Slight jalapeno tang. Judge # 2 — Exciting BBQflavor, needs more peppers to be taken seriously. Judge # 3 — Keep this out of the reach of children. I’m not sure what I’m supposed to taste besides pain. I had to wave off two people who wanted to give me the Heimlich maneuver. They had to rush in more beer when they saw the look on my face. CHILI # 3 – ALFREDO’S FAMOUS BURN DOWN THE BARN CHILI Judge # 1 — Excellent firehouse chili. Great kick. Judge # 2 — A bit salty, good use of peppers. Judge # 3 — Call the EPA. I’ve located a uranium spill. My nose feels like I have been snorting Drano. Everyone knows the routine by now. Get me more beer before I ignite. Barmaid pounded me on the back, now my backbone is in the front part of my chest. I’m getting red-faced from all of the beer. CHILI # 4=2 0- BUBBA’S BLACK MAGIC Judge # 1 — Black bean chili with almost no spice. Disappointing. Judge # 2 — Hint of lime in the black beans. Good side dish for fish or other mild foods, not much of a chili. Judge # 3 — I felt something scraping across my tongue, but was unable to taste it. Is it possible to burn out taste buds? Sally, the beer maid, was standing behind me with fresh refills. This 300 lb. Woman is starting to look HOT … Just like this nuclear waste I’m eating! Is chili an aphrodisiac? CHILI # 5 – LISA’S LEGAL LIP REMOVER Judge # 1 — Meaty, strong chili. Jalapeno peppers freshly ground, adding considerable kick. Very impressive. Judge # 2 — Chili using shredded beef, could use more tomato. Must admit the jalapeno peppers make a strong statement. Judge # 3 — My ears are ringing, sweat is pouring off my forehead and I can no longer focus my eyes. I farted, and four people behind me needed paramedics. The contestant seemed offended when I told her that her chili had given me brain damage. Sally saved my tongue from bleeding by pouring beer directly on it from the pitcher. I wonder if I’m burning my lips off. It really ticks me off that the other judges asked me to stop screaming. CHILI # 6 – VARGA’S VERY VEGETARIAN VARIETY Judge # 1 — Thin yet bold vegetarian variety chili. Good balance of spices and peppers. Judge # 2 — The best yet. Aggressive use of peppers, onions, garlic. Superb. Judge # 3 — My intestines are now a straight pipe filled with gaseous, sulfuric flames. I crapped on myself when I farted, and I’m worried it will eat through the chair. No one seems inclined to stand behind me except that Sally. Can’t feel my lips anymore. I need to wipe my butt with a snow cone. CHILI # 7 – SUSAN’S SCREAMING SENSATION CHILI Judge # 1 — A mediocre chili with too much reliance on canned peppers. Judge # 2 — Ho hum, tastes as if the chef literally threw in a can of chili peppers at the last moment **I should take note that I am worried about Judge # 3. He appears to be in a bit of distress as he is cursing uncontrollably. Judge # 3 — You could put a grenade in my mouth, pull the pin, and I wouldn’t feel a thing. I’ve lost sight in one eye, and the world sounds like it is made of rushing water. My shirt is covered with chili, which slid unnoticed out of my mouth. My pants are full of lava to match my shirt. At least during the autopsy, they’ll know what killed me. I’ve decided to stop breathing. It’s too painful. I’m not getting any oxygen anyway. If I need air, I’ll just suck it in through the 4-inch hole in my stomach. CHILI # 8 – BIG TOM’S TOENAIL CURLING CHILI Judge # 1 — The perfect ending, this is a nice blend chili. Not too bold but spicy enough to declare its existence. Judge # 2 — This final entry is a good, balanced chili. Neither mild nor hot. Sorry to see that most of it was lost when Judge # 3 farted, passed out, fell over and pulled the chili pot down on top of himself. Not sure if he’s going to make it. Poor fella, wonder how he’d have reacted to really hot chili? Judge # 3 — No report. 2 3 Quote Link to comment
Woodie Posted May 10, 2021 Share Posted May 10, 2021 4 hours ago, duke007 said: Having been there I think I get the gist! Quote Link to comment
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