duke007 Posted June 2, 2020 Author Share Posted June 2, 2020 My favourite mannequin Quote Link to comment
Woodie Posted June 14, 2020 Share Posted June 14, 2020 VIDEO-2020-06-11-10-38-30.mp4 1 Quote Link to comment
stoolpusher Posted June 14, 2020 Share Posted June 14, 2020 Not a joke but a funny pic , well it made me giggle. ( a link from the Benny hill Facebook group page ) Lhttps://www.facebook.com/groups/1445935672312923/permalink/2678257402414071/?sfnsn=mo 1 1 Quote Link to comment
Laawman Posted June 26, 2020 Share Posted June 26, 2020 Not sure where to put this, but here'll do. Can't remember where I first got this from, but it's old now and deserves to be aired now and then. A lot of the terms have gone into disuse and does show how times have changed over the years. THE ASIAN BAR DICTIONARY The English language is commonly used throughout most of Asia and is the regions international language of choice. There are many English terms and phrases unique to the region, particularly as its used in bars, nightclubs and saloons. Ongoing undercover investigative linguistic research by our academics, who are posing as bar flies, suggests that much of the rapid expansion of English in Asia began with its acceptance and wide use in these establishments. The Expatriate and Sexpatriot communities of native speakers throughout Asia, the different models and variants of LBFMs they chase after, and of course MTV contribute to the colourful and rich expressions of the language as it is spoken and used in Asia. To assist first time visitors comprehend and use Asian Bar Room Speed English, as well as assist some of the older Asian hands that may have forgotten a few things, the VD and The Margarita Station are reissuing and updating the Station's world famous Asian Bar Dictionary. This multilingual guide was first issued in 1989 to assist ANZPUS forces. What is an LBFM, what is Bar Room Speed English, what is The Ville, what is a Sexpatriot and what is ANZPUS? Look them up! A ABOVE THE LINE: Sexpat term announcing the acceptability of an LBFM for recreational sex. An LBFM at or below the line should be rejected. However, just what the line is depends upon the Sexpat and his situation at the moment. See Do Her. AKA: (A-K-A) Intelligence term meaning Also Known As. Used to sort out all of the names LBFMs use. Example - Miss Noi in the Long Gun Bar is AKA Miss Dang in the Tilac Bar and is AKA Miss Night Howler in the Asoke Love Motel. See Bangkok Rule # 1. ANZPUS: A coalition or any combination of Australian, New Zealand, Philippine and US Special Operations forces. Feared and hated throughout Asia by the insidious shits. Strongly disliked by Mama Sans and the Pearl S. Buck Foundation. Also what your Australian Uncle had to clean out every morning if he expected an air start. AUA: American University Alumni. A famous Bangkok English language school employing wandering Farangs interested in low wages, long hours and opportunities to meet a lot of Yings. Often mistaken for an alcoholics halfway house because of the numerous speakers of UK English employed. B BAHT: Ying fuel. Thai currency or a measure of weight for gold jewellery you shouldn't be buying her. BAHT GRENADE: 500 baht flash-bang stun grenade. Most effective in a close quarter short time room against aggressive Isan Yings. Use only in an emergency or if you have to have a smoke job. BAHT GUN: Special urban assault weapon designed for use against indigenous LBFM population in Bangkok, Pattaya or Phuket. Short range, hand held, automatic, ATM fed, bar cooled Ying blaster. Prone to runaway gun malfunctions after midnight. Similar to a Peso Pistol or a Ringit Rifle. BAMBOO ENGLISH: Native English dialect of Asian LBFMs which confuses L's for R's among other things. Example - Lovely sounds like Rubbery. Several sub dialects: Korean Kimchee, Viet Fish Sauce, Honeyco, Sugar Cane, Thai Kow Pot and Chinese Fortune Cookie. BANANA CUTTER: LBFM stage performer skilled in peeling bananas with her vaginal utensil. Most also perform several other tricks with ping-pong balls, smoking cigarettes, oranges, balloons, razor blades, high powered long range vaginal darts, and magic markers. Many are handy soda water bottle openers as well. Great subjects for Christmas and entertainment videos for the folks and families. BANANA JOB: What you get if you bar fine a banana cutter. BANG: Sexpat slang for sexual intercourse. 'I banged that Ying all night.' Farangs bar fining more than one Ying may have double bangers , triple bangers or more. ' I had a double banger with those two from Thermaes last night.' BANGKOK: The name speaks for itself. BANGKOK AFTER DARK (BAD): Free newspaper available in Bangkok and worth every baht. BANGKOK RULES: Principles or practices that are particularly important as rough or inexact guides to be used for quick calculations when dealing with Bar and Go-Go Yings who follow no basic accepted practices except one - Fuck You. There are three Bangkok Rules. These are simple, easy to remember, and used by experienced Sexpats to save a lot of time, money and grey hair : Rule #1: They all lie. Rule #2: Deny everything Rule # 3: Two rules are plenty BAR FINE: Fee paid to Asian bars so customers can take an LBFM out for the evening. In some cities, like Bangkok and Pattaya, the LBFM gets half the bar fine and this is suppose to be all the customer pays for the Yings affections. Good luck and see Ying Thing. Bar fine rates and follow-up negotiations can vary widely. Factors can include the age and experience of the LBFM, the level of handsome the customer has achieved, his nationality and the time of year among others. BAR GIRL: A general term for any LBFM providing companionship for male and female customers for a fee. Most work in bars, massage parlours or coffee houses. BAR NAME: An alias or several that experienced Sexpats use in different bars to protect their true identity. For example these are the known names of one famous Sexpat bar hound Bar Bar Name Tilac Dog Nuts Suzy Wong Ying Wanker Hollywood Sperm-A-Side Vodoo Short Snake G Spot Towel Licker Chulalongkorn University Ajan William James Smythe III Bar names give Sexpats cover for status and action, and provide plausible denial in the event of a Ying accusing them of being a 'budderfry sumbitch.' . See Cover and Bangkok Rule # 2. BAR ROOM SPEED: One of three speeds at which things normally happen in an Asian bar such as sex, the English pronunciation of your name, your bill arrives or you get thrown out. In accelerating order these are Normal Speed, Combat Speed and Bar Room Speed. BAR YING: An LBFM working in a bar that is not dancing. They usually take drink orders and try to beg a ladies drink off you. The Ying may never dance or may have a night off. Can be bar fined. See Bangkok Rule # 1 BEAVER: Mans favourite rodent whether furry, shave or naturally bald. There are abundant beaver herds thriving in Asia in all three categories both day and night. Though price and quality in the Asian Beaver species vary greatly they are all highly prized by visitors and Sexpats. Bangkok's daily parade of LBFMs in their miniskirts are internationally famous for the quality of their beaver shots from the back of motorcycles, elevated street crossovers, office desks, bus seats, and glass elevators. WARNING: If you're getting a Beaver Shot from a toilet seat leave the bar. BEER SING: Thai Kow Pot English for Singha Beer. Uniquely Thai beer brewed with formaldehyde and filtered river water. BIG MANGO, The: Nickname for Bangkok and title of a great book. BOMB SIGHTS: A Thai or Korean toilet hole flush with the floor. Normally equipped with idiot-proof foot pads. BUCKSKIN JOE'S VILLAGE: Contact Zone located under the freeway and next to the railroad tracks on Sukhumvit Road. No need for blenders just wait for the trains to rumble by to have a vodka martini or beer Sing shaken not stirred. Old timers say that is also the best time to be getting a bar stool blow job as well. BUNKERED PUSSY: A dangerous crippling medical condition. Often found in Korean LBFMs but has been reported in the Philippines and Thailand. In laymen's term a solid rock is where the LBFMs pubic bone should be. Pounding on it all night or worse it pounding on you will turn your pubic bone into the sorest square yard of your body for a week. Immediate Action Drill- Roll her over. BUSINESS YINGS: Independent or freelance commercial sex mercenaries who do not work for any particular establishment, but wander around trying to find customers. This eliminates the need to have regular medical check-ups. Most hangout in shark tanks such as the Soi 7 Beer Garden and Thermaes in Bangkok. C CAPTURED: Your known status once you pay a bar fine and head out the door with an LBFM. CHEAP CHARLIE: Name LBFMs give to anyone that does not buy ladies drinks, tip after the bar fine or otherwise foolishly toss his money around on them. CHINCHOKE: AKA Gecko. Thai mini-lizard with no known function. Make good house pets. Also a term for oral sex. CONDOM: AKA Mechai in Thailand. Basic issue sex gear for Asia. See Bangkok Rule # 1 and wrap that rascal. Free at Mr. Mechai's Condoms and Cabbages Restaurant on Soi 12. Also slang for Styrofoam beer bottle holders. D DARK LING: Thai for monkey's ass. Used affectionately by Thai LBFMs. Often heard in Bamboo English sentences like: 'I love you dark ling!' DO DA: Sexpat nickname for an LBFM between 16-25 years old that looks like she might be 13. Super body, face, lips, eyes, hair and a two-stroke five-watt brain. Capable of incredible continual sex and dumb as dirt. Sometimes confused for 'The One' until she tries to speak. E ESE FACTOR: Popular theory that Chinese, Burmese, Indonese, Japanese, Siamese, Taiwanese, and Vietnamese LBFMs are exotic wild heathen Asian sex machines. True believers claim there are also Philippinese. ESE DISEASE: A prevalent male disease where the sufferer is addicted to heathen Asian sex machines and the chaos and havoc they bring to their personnel, medical, and financial status. No known cure. F F-WORD, The: Probably means Fucking Farang. FAMILY GIRL: A young girl who is neither a bar or business girl. See Bangkok Rule # 1. FARANG: Thai word for all foreigners not only the good looking white eyes. FARANG SHARK: A nasty Thai LBFM sub species. These are old dogs lurking in the corners of dark bars waiting for the younger more attractive LBFMs to lure Farang clients into the killing fields. Smelling baht as soon as a Farang takes a seat they move-in and beg for ladies drink offering neck massages or other services. The really nasty ones have been known to run friendlier younger LBFMs away from their prey. See Shark Tank. FEEDING THE DUCK: (Tet Liang Phet) A phrase used by Thai LBFMs to tell their pet Farang they have decided for sure that he is butter flying, whether guilty or not. Once their low watt IQ has figured this out they have been known to de-gender the poor shit and use the offending object as a wandering farm animal snack treat. See Ying Thing. FISH BOWL: Sports arena for fishbowling. Common term for a massage parlour where LBFMs usually wearing short mini-skirts wait sitting on raised benches in front of TV sets in large rooms surrounded by one-way mirrors. Customers can sit down with a beer in hand and check out the LBFMs and their mini-skirt lengths without being seen. Customers can discuss the attributes of each LBFM with their personal Thai-Mex looking table porter while making their selection. After choosing one the head Thai-Mex looking manager calls the LBFMs badge number over a P.A. system. Outside the tank the LBFM will escort her customer to a private room for a 'massage.' Fishbowls are common throughout Thailand with a few in Manila. Fish bowl procedures are also used in No Hands Restaurants. G GREEN HORNETS: Mini-Mercedes bus, green in colour running the streets of Bangkok and ignorant of all known traffic laws. Other Thai bus models just as dangerous include: Blue Blazers, Orange Squashers, White Smokers, and Red Deaths. H HEAD MAN: A Filipino or Thai providing hot towels, toilet waters, back massages, hair brushes and other questionable services in the toilet of a bar. I I & I: A single Farangs vacation in Asia. Short for intercourse and intoxication. ??A take-off from the R & R of WW Vietnam. IMF: International Moma San Fund. ISAN: Open Ying pasture range in Northeast Thailand. Sometimes spelled Esarn. Also home of Momma who is where most of your money is going. J JUNGLE JUICE: AKA Mojo in the PI. Special bar drink laced with the local poison; Mekong, ESQ rum or Soju. Will most certainly make you handsome. K KATOEY: (Ka toy) Thai phenomena usually found in three phases. Phase One - Lady Boy: Male Transvestite, Plenty of makeup and hair spray, no tits, still stands to piss. Phase Two - Man Lady: Male Transvestite, Plenty of makeup and hair spray, a tit start up kit, still stands to piss. Something like a modern day mermaid. Phase Three - Lady Man - Technically an LBFM, Plenty of makeup and hair spray, great looking tits and ass, squats to piss. There is nothing in the G-string to warn you. Look for knuckle hair, large Adam's apple, big feet and a shit grin on the Moma San's face. KHAO SANG ROAD: (Cow Song) Street in the Banglampoo (Bring Shampoo) area of Bangkok. Backpacker Euro-trash slum. Beer, organic and manmade chemicals and plenty of Round Eye Yings (REY). Most have bits and pieces of metal chains, spikes, pins and other cosmetic shrapnel stuck in, on and through them. Don't date those with rusty ornaments showing. KLONG: Thai for water canal. Frequently used to refer to a stagnant canal or ditch running parallel to a road. Larger ones still crisscross Bangkok. Klong boat rides in Bangkok are called sewer runs. L LADIES DRINK: A specially priced drink for an LBFM. These often cost 3 to 4 times as much as a beer or local mixes and range from beer and mixed drinks in the Philippines, juicees in Korea and colas in Thailand. LBFM: Little Brown Fucking Machine. Sexpat slang for Asian women that look somewhere between 13-30 years old. Described in Thailand as an efficient simple piece of lightweight equipment (normally 98 lbs), adaptable to every imaginable position, ruggedized, water proof, baht fed, rice propelled, self cleaning, capable of multiple operations simultaneously, deployable as single, pair or group units and disposable. There are constantly changing variants and submodels being developed and deployed. Most common variant in Asia is the LBFM-PBR (Powered By Rice). Current models of this variant in Asia include MODEL FEATURES A Basic Asian model. B The improved A model. C A climaxer, you and her. D A great dancer. E. Basic exhibitionist. Loves mirrors and making home VDOs. F The F_____ model. This is what all the fuss is about. G Gang banger. Usually deployed in pairs. Carpet munchers as well. H Heathen. Scratching, biting screamers. I Insect eater. J Just plain ugly. K Khatoy, phase 1, 2 or 3. L Likes leather. A lot of these in the Long Gun bar. M Mama San. Usually a non-contender but some are do hers. N No as in no tits, no personality, no smoking. O The One. P Pole Bender. Q Plain ugly but surprisingly fun. R Three holer rodeo. S A Smoker. T Great tits. Honest to God hooters. U Beer bubble popping ugly but needs the work. V Virgin and there is also a snow ski resort in Chiang Mai. W Wet and wild. Loves showers. A real water toy. X Nasty, really experimentally nasty. Bring extra condoms and a whistle so you can signal for a breather. Y Prefers other Yings but you can watch. Z A sleeper a real NPY. LONG TIME: 'Man drunk, man no cum, man no go'. A period of time somewhere between two hours and all night in which mutually agreed acts involving some fluid swaps are performed between a customer and his or her LBFM or LBFMs. LOVE HOTELS: AKA No Tell Motels. Short time hotels often constructed to look like castles or ships in Japan. A more functional 'Motel 6' architectural style is used in Thailand and the Philippines. Rooms can be equipped with single beds and squats or Jacuzzis, videos, floor to roof wall mirrors, water beds and karaokes. Rates are hourly. Thai models are often equipped with GYOB workbenches. M MAMA SAN: The female manager of a bar or other establishment. These LBFMs are usually semi-retired and not available for take out service. However, they do appreciate the attention and you could be surprised. The term is often used when addressing any older LBFM. MASSAGE GIRL: An LBFM employed in a massage parlour. MASSAGE: Ancient oriental custom for getting a Farang in a bedroom and getting his clothes off. Basically seven methods practiced in Thailand. (1) AUTHENTIC: An old Mama San or Papa San probably retired Isan water buffalo masseuses. Avoid this and avoid these people. It is a painful bone snapping oriental interrogation technique. You will pay them to stop or switch to the Chinese hot water torture before they finish. (2) TRADITIONAL: An LBFM over 25 years old. AKA Ancient Massage (3) SPECIAL: An LBFM under 17 years old. See Sudsy (4) EXTRA SPECIAL: Two or more LBFMs under 17 years old. See Sudsy (5) FOREIGN LADIES: Either a Cambodian (Bod) or a Burmese (Burr) LBFM. (6) FOOT: Either they rub your feet raw or take you in the backroom and stomp on your balls until you cum. (7) OIL: A Phase 1 or 2 Katoey. Beware. MASSEUSE: A massage LBFM or Katoey skilled and unskilled in giving a massage. MEKONG: Thai rum known to make grown men damn handsome and rich. An alternative is Sang Thip with the same results but faster. MHEN: Thai for 'Not tonight wan jai, my menstrayshun is raging.' It also means bad smell - go figure. MIA NOI: Thai word meaning little wife. Equivalent to a mistress but probably a lot more expensive. See Ying Thing and Feeding The Duck. MOHO: Thai for a real serious case of the ass. See Ying Thing and Feeding The Duck. MOTOSAI: Kowpot English for motorcycle. Comes in two basic Thai models. Family: Single seat. 4 person and above. Sport: Single seat. 4 person and below. MY FRIEND: The terminally ugly LBFM that your LBFM wants your friend to Bar Fine, or you to Bar Fine and support all night. N NANA HOTEL: An elephant graveyard for old Farangs. No Farang under the age of 80 has been sighted in the Nana since 1990. Most Yings in the Nana are older than the rugs on the floor and have seen more service. NANA PLAZA: A popular three story square Contact Zone in Bangkok. Hang out of choice for locals and tourists who are tired of the hassles in Pat Pong. Known for low drink prices, high bar fines and large numbers of participating LBFMs. Location of Vodoo Lounge, Hollywood and Carousel bars among others. NIGHT OWL: A world famous Sexpat bar and entertainment gossip column written by Bernard Trink (AKA The Night Owl) and featured in the Friday editions of the Bangkok Post. NON-PERFORMING YING (NPY): Term for a great looking LBFM that you bar fine, get home or into the short time room, get into bed, in the shower or on the floor and start scrogging and she never moves or makes a sound. Exact opposite of a screamer. O ONE, The: A mythical LBFM. Every Farang meets at least one. ONE NIGHT IN BANGKOK: The theme song. P PCOD (PUSSY CUT OFF DATE): The day, often the hour and the minute that a visiting Farang is suppose to seal himself off from contact with LBFMs. The concept is a holdover from WW Vietnam. This is suppose is to give a Farang enough time to build up his need for sex so when he arrives home he can act really happy to see Momma. Unfortunately the most Momma usually gets is a squirt of dust if the returning Farang can even manage a partial dysfunctional erection. PAT PONG: Two street Contact Zone in Bangkok. Previously famous for large bars and live sex shows. Now famous for small bars, zombie sex shows and a street market manned by old Go-Go Yings. Many of the bars are full of Katoeys. Clip joints throughout the area. PESONALITY: The natural charm, humour and good looks any Farang can buy to impress the LBFM of his choice with enough peso, baht or won. See Handsome. POKE POKE: Thai slang for Isan mango and shrimp head salad. Also Sexpat slang for handjob and heathen sex position with LBFM on top. This is recommended. Try it with the heathen facing you and then have her turn around and face your toes. Much better if she doesn't get off when she spins. See Basket Job. POLE BENDER: Go-Go LBFM skilled in wrapping and sliding her arms, legs, crotch and tongue up and down the length of an 8-10ft chrome pole 6 inches in diameter. AKA Polecat, Plumber, Pipe Monkey. PUM PUM: Thai for intercourse. PUNTER: English for a bar hound or runner but it sounds like somebody with half a hard-on. Heavily used in the Nite Owl. A punter pays for her services and bets she is a real Ying. Real Sexpats are hounds, they run Yings down and scrogg 'em. Q QUALITY: Not always available with Yings. Beware of an informal scale among tailors and Go-Go bars. Some are labelling their wares as Sukhumvit Quality. Were not sure yet but it don't sound right. Probably less than standard by a good measure. R R&R: Rest and Recuperation AKA Rape and Rampage. WW Vietnam GI non-combat operation which kicked started the night life in Bangkok and Pattaya. See Railroad. RAILROAD, The: A mental attitude in Thailand among hardened Sexpats; 'Working on the railroad laying Thais.' Long staying Sexpats have been known to earn their masters degrees in Rail Road Engineering, or go bust trying. Most specialize in Thai splitting, trimming, fitting, grooving, cross laying and stacking. ROAD BAIT: The sweetest looking Yings a bar can put on the road. Their job is to lure Farang clients into the bar, make sure they order a drink and then get out of the way and make room for Farang Sharks and others to move in for the kill. ROAD WARRIORS: LBFMs or more likely Katoeys that roam the streets near Asian tourist bars looking for easy captures. True road warriors can snatch their victims and drag them half way down a dark alley before the prey knows what hit them. The most proficient road warriors are found in Korea, but they have been sighted in force in Pattaya, Manila and Angeles City. See Farang Shark. ROI-ET: Thai city in the middle of Isan. AKA L.A. or One-0-One (101). The home of every other taxi driver in Bangkok. Famous for LBFM-H and I models. ROUND EYE: A non-oriental person. S SAMOKE QUAY: Thai for oral sex. See Smoke. SCREAMER: An LBFM that goes into audio hysterics at the start and through most of a scrogging. These can be anything from a theatrical low moan, such as Oh Oh Oh, to a full heathen war cry of 'Scrogg Me, Scrogg Me, Scrogg Me Farang Man.' Great situation if you are the Scrogging Farang Man. A poor situation if you're in the next room. Real screamers also use biting and scratching. Old hands say she's not a real screamer unless the bellboys and/or police break down the door to stop the murder. SCROGGING: Sexpat slang for sexual intercourse. 'That Ying scrogged me good.' SEXPATRIATE: Usually spelled Sexpatriot and shortened to Sexpat. A Farang expatriate living overseas because the sexual climate is more permissive and allows guys 50 and over to legally hunt and bang Yings under 20. A full time Bar Hound who as author Chris Moore describes them 'is unwilling, unable and uninterested in going home.' SHARK TANK: Bar or club in Thailand, usually opened after hours, where various LBFM models, most Business Yings, with horny and hungry pocketbooks swarm to beg drinks and make their best deal with Cheap Charlie Farangs concealing empty wallets. SHORT TIME: 'Man cum, man go.' A period of time somewhere between 30 minutes and two hours in which mutually agreed acts involving some fluid swaps are performed between a Farang client and his or her LBFM or LBFMs. These often occur in the rear booths and heads of bars. SHOWER SHOW: Clean soapy voyeuristic entertainment involving one, two, three or more LBFMs taking and giving one another a warm sudsy shower behind a glass wall for everyone to watch. The G-Spot in the Nana Plaza is recommended for this. Also you can help the Yings dry each other off in the unisex head afterwards. SMOKE: Thai slang for air start. Note that most of Thailand is a non-smoking section. The Philippines on the other hand has got some great smokes. SOI: Thai for street. 'The best Yings are on Soi Cowboy.' SOI COWBOY: One lane Contact Zone for Isan Go-Go and Bar Yings. Located on Sukhumvit between Soi Asoke and Soi 23. Favorite of Bangkok locals for low rate and high quality bar fines. We recommended the Tilac Bar, the Black and White, The Long Gun, The Play Skool and of course Suzy Wongs. SPECIAL: Something not standard and having a higher charge. 'Special Massage, Special Room, Special Ying, Special Price, Special Show, Special for you'. All Specials should be avoided. STEADY BAR FINE: A fee paid to a bar to keep an LBFM on standby reserve. Technically she shouldn't being going out with anyone other than her steady bar fine. A practiced LBFM can mange 2-3 steady bar fines at the same time. SUKHUMVIT ROAD: Main tourist road in Bangkok. Famous R&R strip in WW Vietnam (Suck and Hum On It Road). Location of Soi Cowboy, Soi Nana, Thermaes and a couple of hundred restaurants, hotels and massage parlours. SUDSY: AKA Soap Sex. A Thai massage where the Farang client, an air mattress, lots of warm soap bubbles and a naked masseuse or two are combined for good clean fun. T THAI WAX JOB: (1) A good joke for FNGs. A Thai LBFM has her Farang client flat on his back and is administering to his upright tent pole. At the moment the Apollo 13 rockets ignite the Ying slams her hand over the tent pole forcing the eruption to blow back and out the ears of the Farang and in the process blowing any excess wax out of his ears as the eruption blows through. (2) A particularly erotic dance with a nude Ying holding burning candles over her and letting hot white wax drip on her breasts and run all down her. Don't try this at home as the wax is damn hot. (3) A really nasty grooming habit with a pet Ying laying around the house pulling out her underarm hair with a pair of tweezers and offering to do the same for you if you don't shut up about it. THAILAND: 'Country with little broads and big massage parlours.' THERMAES: AKA Headquarters in a Chris Moore novel. An all night subterranean Shark Tank on Sukhumvit Road open since WW Vietnam. THREE HOLER RODEO: A great night with an LBFM or two with no holes barred. Often advertised as a Three Holer Rodeo and Cultural Dancing Stampede. See Banger and Header. TILAC: Thai term for members of the opposite sex that co-habitat bereft of clergy. A Thai steady bar fine, but there may or may not be any exchange of baht. Also a great Go-Go bar on Soi Cowboy. TIP: The hated after short time cry of the non-performing LBFM. TOILET BOWL: An elevated bombsight for Isan Yings. Be careful not to piss on the seat because they will get their feet wet and might slip into the bowl. TUK-TUK: A Thai three-wheeled vehicle that hauls passengers, pigs, rice, etc. for pay. Often costing the same as a taxi, the only advantage is their ability to cut through traffic while gassing you to death. Originally called samlors, these vehicles have become known as tuk-tuks because of the sound they make when running. Can be organized for ad-hoc Ben Hur races at Bangkok traffic circles after midnight. U UGLY STICK: Large hard wood bat used by Korean mothers to get the attention of their young daughters. Frequent use explains the beauty of most native Korean women. V VILLAGE DAILY, The: The VD. World famous Asian newspaper. A Muckraking Yellow Piece of Journalism for the Far East Sexpatriots of Bangkok. VIRGIN: An LBFM that has never had a baby, at least this year. See Cherry Girl and Bangkok Rule # 1. W WALK, The: This event occurs every day in Contact Zones usually in the morning, in hotel and apartment lobbies and along the sois when Sexpats and Farang visitors escort their bar fines to the street. There are three basic categories. Cat A. The Victory March. This Ying is a stunner and the Sexpat wants everyone to know that he struck pay dirt and is a bar hounds bar hound among mortal men. Cat B. The Walk of Shame. This Ying looked a lot older, a lot better dressed, and a whole lot less uglier the night before. You can walk out with her and you will survive but its going to be painful. Cat C. Dead Man Walking. This Ying should be caged, tagged and released back into the wild. It is not possible for it to be any uglier, older, more wrinkled, or louder. They will refuse offers of an extra 500 baht if you can put them in a sack and drag it to the end of the Soi. They want everyone to know how blind drunk and horny a Farang can get. Sexpats will move that day and other Sexpats will avoid associating with them. Farang visitors will be asked to check out of their hotel and a mark is made in their passports. WAN JAI: Thai for sweetheart. WARNING - Requests for large amounts of baht usually follow this phrase. WET T-SHIRT CONTEST: Dancing contest where cold water is poured on the Go-Go LBFMs T-shirt to make things stand out and up. The best are in the Philippines. WHISPER ALLEY: Dark alley near most of Asia's contact zones where old LBFMS offer passing Farangs oral sex, hand jobs, a standup scrog or any combination of the three for spare change. X Y Z YING: Thai LBFM. Slang short for PooYing - Girl. There are various models of Yings and most are lethal. For example Go-Go Yings, Bar-Yings, School Yings and Isan-Yings. YING THING: Completely insane bizarre often manhood threatening behaviour exhibited by Thai Yings. Layman's term used to describe an LBFM going absolutely crazy on you. Usually brought on when the short time tip is considered too little, you are caught butterflying with another LBFM, or the moon is hanging crooked. One of Asia's true mysteries. Some researchers believe it's a personality disorder associated with a life time diet of Three Mile Island quality mouse turd peppers. 2 Quote Link to comment
Woodie Posted June 26, 2020 Share Posted June 26, 2020 The best definition in that lot was the LBFM. Very true and very funny!. Quote Link to comment
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