Getting The Ladyboy You Really Want In A Bar While Trapped By The One You Don't

[pdogg]

Peeps made this comment on another thread where it's likely to get overlooked so I'm reposting it here.

I ended up with a lovely lady but not the one I was really trying to get to know that evening and being too much of a “gentleman” I couldn’t extract myself from her company in case of upset.

So you're at a bar sitting with a ladyboy but you really want to be with a different ladyboy. How do you handle that situation?

Even though it's "your holiday" this can be a tricky situation and I suspect we all handle it a bit different.

[TTChang]

'Assertive / smooth' is not an easy skill. I find 'fuck off you leech' works well initially, but not when the stiletto is embedded deep in your skull. I was going to say 'smiling, not serious' .... cos most of those who do pull it off well (eg: Donnykey, JimSlim) seem to use the friendly approach.

I think it depends on your own personal nature, the style of LB bar you're in, known friends of choice A, known friends of choice B. . 'Normally' I would say it calm but straight: "Very happy to buy you drink, but have arranged to meet my wife" (dont have to point out 'future' wife, as thais get confused about tenses in English!)

This may work better in the sort of lightweight places I get to .. Actually it nearly always works in Stringfellows. It happens regularly - but if you dont want to buy ladydrinks, then any ideas for plan B guys?

PS. DON'T promise to take them another time! Chances are you WONT. And they WILL remember.

[DownLoLarry]

One way to handle this is to keep buying drinks both for the first ladyboy and the one you really want to be with. Then slowly start paying more attention to the one you really want.

You might discover that there's no chemistry and you don't want her afterall.

If you're the type of guy who finds it difficult to transition from Ladyboy A to Ladyboy B, then it's even more important not to buy that first drink for someone who you don't think you want to sleep with.

Disclaimer, I don't know shit about this as I'm in a relationship and have absolutely no current experience picking up ladyboys.

[deepthroat]

I guess I probably am too brusque, so I'll be trying to fine-tune my act a bit on the next trip. But basically I tell girl A "No, I just want drink my water" and if she won't take the hint I'll get up and move. Go outside if need be and come back in and resettle down with girl B.

[schalke04]

Am I being naive in thinking that if you tell the LB you are with that you really fancy another you will be able to go on living.? I have used this method a few times with GGs in bars.

[pacman]

Am I being naive in thinking that if you tell the LB you are with that you really fancy another you will be able to go on living.?

Naivety can get you into trouble everywhere in Asia. You would have to cause the LB enormous loss of face for her wanting to kill you but if you don't handle the situation well, you can expect a backlash.

It has been my experience that how the girl behaves has much to do with her ego & how much she needs a barfine. Don't ever dump a hungry girl for a prettier one. It's probable that it has happened many times before & when the rent is due & the girl hasn't eaten all day, she won't be in any mood to wish you well with your romantic quest.

There is only one sure way of avoiding being caught & that is not to socialise with a girl you aren't interested in. Of course you can do that if you aren't in her bar looking to barfine someone. But even if there is no one around at the time & you decide to buy the girl a drink to pass the time, once you have sat with her a while, when the A-Team turn up for work, they know not to show you any interest. You have effectively snookered yourself & fellas do it all the time.

It needs to be better understood that the reason why new pretty girls are not hanging around the scene for long is because the old hands cannot cope with their popularity. And everytime a guy passes up a veteran for the latest pretty thing to start in the bar, he is helping to seal her fate. In no time they have been given the message to get out or face violence.

I have seen girls not last a week. The LB mafia in Famous Bar are ruthless in ridding the place of any threats. Yes, some girls do stay but they are not the pick of the crop. They can be pretty but not TOO pretty. The same thing was happening at Obsessions where I had new girls tell me they had to leave because they were so scared of what was planned for them.

Our desire to barfine another younger, prettier girl gets both us & the girl in trouble. I like to imagine a day when we can arrange to meet new girls through the forum & not have to put up with the bitchiness of the bars. A few of the ringleaders controlling who stays & who goes are now in their 40's or close to it. What are they going to be like in 10 years time? Desperate IMO.

[Jimslim]

Don't ever dump a hungry girl for a prettier one.

Sorry Paccers I have to disagree .

Our money our choice , its amazing how many of us have been sucked into this in the past (IE not getting the one you really want for fear of offending the one who is coming on to you )

I include myself in this too , its happened in the past .

Do what you want but keep smiling and play it all very lighthearted and easy going and you shouldn't have a problem most of the time .

If they have a problem they can fight it out between themselves I don't get involved .

Hey when was the last time any of us had 2 girls fighting over us outside Thailand ?

[deepthroat]

This is what I love about seeing Paccers posting on here! Whether you agree or not, he usually has a very cogent argument which he spells out clearly.

The thing I found most intriguing about that post is the idea that the forum(s) will morph over time to become the contact point instead of the bars. Of course, cruising the bars will always have a certain attraction, but it will be interesting to see if his prediction comes to have validity.

I agree with Jim though, my money, my vacation. I've had a few problems with the hair flicks as a result of my attitude - usually in Famous Bar. And as we all know, there's plenty of other bars out there so no actual problems as a result.

[johnlbx]

I find it useful to determine who the LB I'm sitting with lives with. They will usually allow you to switch to their roomie since either the roomie owes them money or they share somewhat in the profits at work. If the roomie is hotter I usually will take them up on this offer..

Even if it's not a roommate if you get a sense that an LB is steering you toward another LB it's likely a case of money owed.. so you'll do her a favor by taking the other one (and you'll do yourself a favor if she's hotter..)

[pacman]

Don't ever dump a hungry girl for a prettier one.

Sorry Paccers I have to disagree .

You're welcome Jim. I was being rhetorical with that statement but as a piece of blunt advice for newbies to the LB scene in LOS, I think it encapsulates an important message.

I could have added that "hell hath no fury like a woman scorned", a sentiment written in the 17th century but totally relevant today.

But it isn't the regulars who find themselves "trapped". The girls know us, they know most of us like to butterfly, they know trying to entrap us isn't doing them any favours with the bar owner or for their career. That doesn't stop them from trying to twist our words to make out they have been promised a barfine or for them to work on our empathy in order to gain some advantage. What they lack in formal education, they more than make up for with street smarts.

As you wrote, a lighthearted attitude all the time smiling can usually disarm a situation. Offering them a drink, or better, a 100 baht note slipped into their hand is a tactic for the more angry girls but how does a first-timer determine who's trouble & who can be bought off? And the girls do see newbies as "big fish" when it comes to a potential payday.

These poor guys walk into a bar, they exude their "newness" by their inappropriate dress, their pale skin, their confusion with counting out their money, these are all signs picked up immediately by the staff. And when an older girl offers to sit with him & he buys her a drink because he is happy for the chance to survey the bar without feeling like the object of everyone's stares, he does not realise that he has just locked himself in & now has no chance of swapping her for a younger girl.

The chances are the one chosen to sit with him (and in many bars new guys are shared out on a roster basis. Woe betide any girl who tries to jump in) owes money to other girls & her best hope of a good payday is to snag a farang who doesn't know the ropes. And if he's a fool with his money, then all the better.

I don't want to patronise FMs who know all this stuff. Many of you know more than I. But I write this hoping that one or two readers who are yet to visit LOS take note that they can seal their fate before they even start choosing who they want. And I should mention that it doesn't work like this everywhere, Cocktail & Dreams, Guess Bar, etc have staff who are more likely to help than entrap, but it doesn't hurt to know what can happen. To be forewarned is to be forearmed.

[bumblebee]

Interesting observation you made earlier Pacman regarding ladyboy bar mafia. Just back from Hua Hin and noticed how the LBs there rule their own turf and outsiders are not welcome. I guess this can be seen in a few bars around Los, where the same old faces get posted time after time whereas new faces seem to come and go rather rapidly. Maybe a topic in itself, who really has the last word on who stays and goes, the owners or the LB union.

[randiuno]

Here is a simple solution...just short time her, and then when in the short time room say you will pay for her to bring another girl, and then a third, and then a fourth, and then after they have all gang banged you, you take the one home you really want!

Works every time and a lot of fun too, if somewhat costly!

[pacman]

Interesting observation you made earlier Pacman regarding ladyboy bar mafia. Just back from Hua Hin and noticed how the LBs there rule their own turf and outsiders are not welcome. I guess this can be seen in a few bars around Los, where the same old faces get posted time after time whereas new faces seem to come and go rather rapidly. Maybe a topic in itself, who really has the last word on who stays and goes, the owners or the LB union.

Prostitution is called the world's oldest profession & the business of staying in business must be as old. Hookers will always protect their patch & whether it is street walkers fighting off newcomers to the best corner in town or LBs warning off younger competition in their bar, it goes on in every city & country on earth.

I have seen it many times in LOS. All the photos of new girls starting in the bars & in a matter of weeks (or days) they move on. And I think of how this new girl could have earnt more money than all the ones who have been there years & arrive at the conclusion: they don't want her there. With too much competition from the younger, prettier girls, who's going to take care of the older girls?

I talked with several young girls who were afraid of "boxing" from their peers. I talked with bar owners who despaired that a new girl who promised to be a good earner would probably not be allowed to stay if the other girls felt threatened.

I think that answers your question BB. Bar owners want good staff to stay. But it is the LB mafia who decide if they do or not.

[bumblebee]

Cheers for the helpful and insightful info as ever Pacman.

[pacman]

The thing I found most intriguing about that post is the idea that the forum(s) will morph over time to become the contact point instead of the bars. Of course, cruising the bars will always have a certain attraction, but it will be interesting to see if his prediction comes to have validity.

This isn't an idea I have thought about before, it only popped into mind while I was writing the post. Promoting new recruits who are yet to establish themselves in a bar is no different to the video girls who are featured on the site now. The difference with the new girls is they don't have the knowledge of where to go & how to arrange it. And they most likely don't have a laptop & internet connection with which they can get started.

But if there's a market then someone will find a way to tap it. Access to the net is changing everything.

I agree with Jim though, my money, my vacation. I've had a few problems with the hair flicks as a result of my attitude - usually in Famous Bar. And as we all know, there's plenty of other bars out there so no actual problems as a result.

No problem for you & most of us. It's the guys who are yet to visit LOS who need to know what to expect.

Cheers for the helpful and insightful info as ever Pacman.

My pleasure BB. I didn't write anything new, I just put it in one post.

[Jimslim]

Some fair points well made brother Pacman .

I would say it takes a few trips under our belts to fully learn the ropes .

And very true about them spotting the new guy , they can smell blood like a pack of tiger sharks .

It does help to have a gang of like minded friends which of course the girls don't like - "You know toooooo mutt !"

[bumblebee]

It does help to have a gang of like minded friends which of course the girls don't like - "You know toooooo mutt !"

The very words your little friend Pop/Ice shouted over to me in Sugar and Spice last week when I was giving Dazedandconfused the low down on the place.

[pdogg]

I like to imagine a day when we can arrange to meet new girls through the forum & not have to put up with the bitchiness of the bars.

First off, well thought out stuff throughout this thread. But I want to address bars vs internet.

Although some guys use the Profiles on Ladyboy Review, Thai Friendly, etc. IMO in Thailand the bars are by far the easiest way to meet and interview girls.

In a bar, if you don't like her looks, you don't interact. You have the option for a quick one minute chat and an opportunity to move on. For the price of one ladydrink you get a no obligation in depth interview.

That contrasts favorably to the awkwardness of meeting and rejecting someone I've met online, but maybe that's just me.

True, in the bars we will sometime be subjected to hair flicks etc. and of course that sort of behaviour pisses us off. But I figure better to find out about her nastiness in the bar rather than back in the loom.

[pacman]

IMO in Thailand the bars are by far the easiest way to meet and interview girls.

I completely agree with you. My comment about meeting girls through the forum was referring to the "new" girls who get short shrift from the "old" girls when they start work in their bar. And by "meeting" I was thinking of getting to see them in a thread dedicated to introducing new comers to town. (Comers!! Freudian slip there... )

I should be more specific with my stream of consciousness but it was only a passing thought.

And nothing will replace the bars for sitting & chatting with someone in order to gauge her appeal.

[Yuzirneym]

Regarding this thread, I had this experience and being still green on some aspects, I've been had....a little. I was walking to my hotel in Soi Nana from BTS, and a cute gal was walking beside me, we had an eye contact, talked a little on the way, learnt that she was working in Cascade, and I was like: "mission planned". I went to my room, showered, got dressed up...and off I was to Cascade.

 

Entering the bar, my eyes searched for her, found her too.....and another friend of hers found me. Then us three sat at a table, a beer and two lady-drinks came by. I was thinking about barfining just the one...the one I met at the station. But the Girl 2 seemed a tad more interested. Having two hotties on both sides kinda damaged my reasoning, and could not shove the Girl 2 off.

 

They were talking about having a threesome, having lez play for me, etc, you know. The reason that I wanted to take just one of them home wasn't just I was more interested in one, but at the same time, I did not have enough Bahts, had not exchanged enough. I tried to get out of the situation by explaining I could only take one of them, and what they understood was "I could only give barfine for one" not "I could just take one", so the Girl 2 said she'd be pretending to get out some air.

 

What I didn't know was, she'd be tagging along. I ended up giving just 1 barfine but had to take two girls. Now it may seem paradise to you, but I was just anxious if I had enough dough for both. And what I was afraid, was true. All the time, the Girl 2 demanded tips.  

 

The Station Girl was not pushy on that...but dunno if they were doing the good cop/bad cop routine. Although being distracted by this constant pushing, I managed to do them both, succesfully avoided the advances of the Girl 2 to top me (I'm fully top, the other role just don't interest me), got to see the two girls hugging each other briefly (not a complete lez play but still) but the price/performance ratio was not that good....especially after the tip. I had only dollars left after the session.

 

For the tip, we had an impromptu calculation of USD/THB rates and gave them some Dollars, had some Bahts for change, then off they went. I did not imagine my first threesome to be this way. Kinda annoyed (mostly to myself) more than being content with sex.

 

The next time I had a ladyboy that trip, was my quickie before the plane....Soi Cowboy's Cockatoo. I had learnt my lesson and although I had to buy a round of lady drinks for 4-5 girls and a waitress I managed to take the one I wanted only, and...boy that was good!

 

See, there are things like this too. Some lessons are learnt the hard way. I could resist the second time, because although the Cockatoo girls were pushy at the bar, they did not sit beside me, did not try to make their way to my bed. I don't wanna say this, because the Station Girl was so cute....I kinda think that, that experience at Cascade might be some kind of scam. What do you think?

 

Notes for those who may know those girls:

Station Girl: Don't know her name, but she was small, flattish tits, tattoo on back.

Girl-2: Don't remember how she looked like, but the Station Girl called her as "Pinky"

[Yuzirneym]

Notes for those who may know those girls:

Station Girl: Don't know her name, but she was small, flattish tits, tattoo on back.

Girl-2: Don't remember how she looked like, but the Station Girl called her as "Pinky"

 

By "Small", I meant "small stature", "petite", FYI

[SiamSam]

I don't think it is a planned, calculated scam so much as it is the way they naturally operate when they see a newbie. It's normal and they are working their business. When they see a business opportunity they pursue it not unlike the rest of us.  

 

All of us at some point or another have felt the same thing. We come away from a particular experience feeling we've been taken advantage of. Sometimes you only lose your money. Other times you can lose your heart. The latter you need to protect more IMO.

 

Consider yourself fortunate and chalk it up. Put the experience and the event in your back pocket for future reference. Forge ahead and forget about this Cascade event. It is not something to dwell upon.  

 

Happy trails. 

[Yuzirneym]

I did not dwell actually, but the moment I saw this thread, I naturally remembered the situation :) Boy I was so pissed then. Thanx :)

[4:17]

Agree with Sam, it isn't so much a scam as it is just a natural way to act in the bar, where their job is to separate customers from as much baht as possible. This scene has probably happened to most of us at least one time or another; I know it's been attempted with me on numerous occasions. One of the reasons I like the low-key bars like La Bamba, Darkside, Guess, etc.

 

One way to avoid it, particularly if you are new to the scene, is walk in and ask for the mamasan. Buy her a drink and ask her if she can sit with you for a moment, as you want to ask some questions about the girls. Usually they are happy to do this -- although the mamasan can also be a pain in the arse -- and the ladies will be afraid to do anything other than try and make eye contact with you. I did this my first time in Cascades years ago -- having read it on a forum -- and it worked great. Another method is just to be firm and say you are making the rounds of the bars, and may be back later. Then do just that, pop back in later. This may backfire, as your intended may be with another customer -- but then there is plenty of low-hanging fruit in a place like Nana Plaza.

 

As others have mentioned, you can always be polite yet firm. Buy the other girl a drink but explain you came to see this other one. If you are nice about it, usually it doesn't result in any drama or perceived loss of face. Usually. With more experienced girls, it will be no problem. With younger girls, girls who think they are new superstars, etc., it can get more sticky if they think they are losing face. Worse comes to worse, at that point ask to speak to the mamasan. You might be surprised how this causes drama to dissolve -- of course it can also make it worse; just have to use your own judgment.

 

And on the other hand -- and back to the original topic -- sometimes I've just gone with the flow (actually more often than not) and been pleasantly surprised back in the loom. The converse is true; the chemistry with one's intended just isn't there.

[Yuzirneym]

Point taken :) It wasn't my first time, but I was not that seasoned either. And clearly not my day. If only I had more Bahts Iwouldn't even mind. I hate gals pestering for tips, but having more Bahts would shut her up. Kinda relieved to hear that it was not much of a scam.

 

True, in a huge bar like Cascade meeting the mamasan herself is kinda difficult. The next day was my GG night, and at Mercury Go-go, the mamasan of the place took barfining orders personally, one guy even tried to barfine her, ended up buying her a beer. Fun to watch too.