Every body knows 69Billy!!!

[paultain]

Sorry guys, 4 weeks to go, and I’m bored!

So it’s time for a bit of entertainment for you, and something to occupy my time! (Our elders will know the origins of this one)

Every body knows 69Billy!!!

A true’ish story

Billy and Fie Dollah, were sitting at the bar in La Bamba, when Billy turned to 5$ and said, “You know!.... every body knows me man!... every where I go, people come up to me and say hello, and I’ve never seen them before in my life!” “Aye right Billy” 5$ sniggered.

“No, no, 5$!... I really mean it man!” and just then a stranger walks in, and to prove it to 5$, Billy shouts across the bar, “How’s it going man?” “Ahh Billy! How are you? Nice to see you finally in the flesh!” and came over, gave Billy a strong hand shake, and bought the two musketeers a drink, wile Billy turned to 5$, “You see!.... everybody knows me man!” “Fuck off Billy!... he must recognize you from the forums, or something!”

They jumped on the bikes, and drove up to the ‘Rolling Stones Bar’, where ‘Lam Morrison’ was playing away like a good old boy. And no sooner the two musketeers sat down at the bar, Lam immediately stopped playing, and shouts down the microphone, “Ahh Mr. Billy is here!... Sawasdee Mr. Billy, can I play you something special?” Billy turns to 5$, “You see!.... everybody knows me man!” “Fuck off Billy! …Pattaya is not so big, and the amount of times you come here, you must bump into these people here all the time!” “No man!... It happens every where I go… All over the world!... Even a lot of famous people know me!” “Famous people?... Like who?” “Take your pick man!” “I suppose you know Obama?” “Oh yes man!... me an him are old mates!”

“Right Billy I’ll soon sort you out right now boy!” And 5$, takes out his phone and calls ‘FatBoyUK’ back in London, who works for an airline, “Hi mate, can you fix me up two very cheap tickets to Washington DC?” “Why?” “Billy here is trying to tell me he knows Obama, and they are old mates, so I want to call his bluff!” “All right 5$, but don’t tell any body where you got the tickets!... I’ll email then to you in a half hour!” “Thanks mate byee!”

“Hey 5$, what are you doing man?” “Right Billy, I’ll have two tickets to Washington in a half hour, and first thing in the morning, we’re hitting the airport!... And we’ll see if you know Obama or not!” “Ok man! Up to you!”

So the two of them fly to Washington, and walk up to the gates of the White House, “Billy we’re not even going to get past the guards!” “It’s cool man, I tell you, everybody knows me!” Billy walks up the guards, “How’s it going guy’s?” “Ah Billy!... come to see the boss?” “Yeh man!... and let my mate here through as well!..... he’s Ok!.... he’s not the Irish one!” “Ahh, in that case all right, so long as it’s not that other fucker!”

They walked into the White House, and bumped into Obama in the corridor with papers in his hand, “Ahhh Billy!... long time no see mate!” And gave Billy a big hug, “I was just about to go into a press conference, to announce I just killed Bin Laden!.... nothing really important, so I’ll just cancel it, and we can go to the oval office, have a coffee, and shoot the shit about the old days!.......... Who’s your mate?” “Ahh it’s Ok, he’s not Irish mate!” “Thank fuck for that!........ Remember that last time you brought that Irish twat in!!” “Yeh!...sorry mate!” (Billy puts his head down in shame, then lifts it up) “Did you get the War Room repaired, after that time?” “Yes! But it took us six months, to get it back to working order!.......... How the fuck did he get those wire cutters in here in the first place?” “Don’t know mate!.... probably up his ass or something!......... sure anyway he was only kidding around mate!” “Call that kidding around!..... We couldn’t start another war for six months because of that Irish twat!” “Yeh! I know…sorry mate!” “And Billy!... that was a big mistake taking that Irish twat over to the Stock Market in Wall Street, with those wire cutters!...... man that was more shit!...... the rich couldn’t make any money out of thin air!..... Farmers and businesses had to sell products at the real prices! …..and the poor wasn’t getting fucked over!..... It was terrible Billy!” “Yeh! I know…sorry mate!” “Lucky we sold all our gold too China, that time you took him to Fort Knocks!” “Ahk sure! …. Paul gets a little bit excited when I take him places!.... you wanna see him, when I take him to Pooks bar in Soi 6!..... Sometimes I’m ashamed to be with that crazy bastard!”

5$ is stunned at the conversation, “Are you two guys talking about Irish Paul?” “Ssshhhuuu! I don’t want to talk about it!” So the three of them are sitting in the Oval Office, shooting the shit about the old days, and 5$ sitting there in a daze about the whole thing, when Billy turn around to him and said, “See I told you even the famous people know me!...... everybody knows me man!” “Ahh Billy!... I think that was just a fluke!” “Ok then!... name another famous person!... and I bet you I know him!” “Eeemmm, I suppose you’re going to tell me you know the Pope?” “Of course I do man!.... Him and I go away back!... For fuck sake, we use to be alter boys together back in the old days!...... sure how the fuck do you think I got into fucking trannies & ladyboys!” “Right that’s it!... I’m going to sort this out once and for all!”

So 5$ picks up the phone and calls FatBoyUK, “Hi mate! Can you sort out a couple of very cheap tickets to Rome?” “Fuck off 5$!.... do you want to get me sacked?” “Ok mate!.. sorry!” and hangs up, with a disappointed look on his face. Obama turns to him and said, “What’s up with you 5$?” “Ahk!... we want to go to Rome and see the Pope, but I can’t get any cheap tickets!” “Sure you can use my Air Force One, I’ll not be using it today!” “Are you sure Mr. President?” “Ahk no problem!.... anything for Billy!... and just call me Sammy!”

So they flew over to Rome, and entered St. Peters Square, which was jammed packed with thousands of sheeple, penguins, and dog collars all over the place, waiting for the Pope to appear on the balcony to bless them. Stuck in the midst of this rowdy bunch of hooligans, Billy turns to 5$ and say’s, “Listen man!... the Pope is not going to see us in this crowd!.... I’ll tell you what I’ll do!..... I’ll go round the side entrance, and go up to see him, come out with him, and give you a wave!” “Sure what about the guards?” “No problem man!.... everybody knows me!”

So Billy disappears into the crowd, then 15 minutes later, the crowd starts roaring, and sure enough there was Billy, standing beside the Pope on the balcony waving. Then after the blessings were over, Billy made his way back to where 5$ was, to find him, stretched out on the ground, with the paramedics all around him, resuscitating him, after he collapsed, with a mild heat attack. Billy, very concerned got on his knees, and lifted 5$’s head up, “Man! What happened to you?...... don’t tell me you got religion or something!” “No, no!... it’s not that!.... It’s just when I was standing there, and saw you come out with the Pope, I over heard the two nun’s that was standing beside me, when one said to the other, “Oh look there’s Billy!”, and the other one answered, “Oh yeh!.... that’s Billy all right!..... But who the fuck is that twat beside him, in the dress & pointy hat?””

To be continued!

[pdogg]

It’s just when I was standing there, and saw you come out with the Pope, I over heard the two nun’s that was standing beside me, when one said to the other, “Oh look there’s Billy!”, and the other one answered, “Oh yeh!.... that’s Billy all right!..... But who the fuck is that twat beside him, in the dress & pointy hat?””

555 Paul! :D

It really is true.........everyone knows my buddy Billy! Really amazing to be out with him and guys come up all the time, sometimes even guys he never met, who recognize him.

Let's not even get started on the ladyboys who know him!

[seanbeag7]

This has to be one of the best and funniest threads of the forum.

Well done paul :clapping:

[Dieter]

The best of all...

I now him and Costasgg....

But the don´t recognize me.... :devil:

Dieter

[paultain]

So Air Force One was on its way back to the USA, and funds were getting low, so the two musketeers thought it better to go by train to London, as it was the cheapest way to go. Well, they were sitting in one of them compartments than sits about six people, nice and private like, when going through Spain, some Spanish guy, boards the train, slides the door of the compartment open, and enters. But just before he sat down he noticed Billy, “Ahk Billy, how’s it going mate?” “Ahk not too bad man!... we just been to see my mate the Pope, cause this cunt sitting beside me here didn’t believe he was a mate!” “Who’s your mate anyway Billy?” “Oh, sorry mate, this is 5$, but he usually goes by the name of, ‘The Brummie Midget’, because of that Irish twat!”

“Ahhh, thank fuck he’s not Irish!....Where is that Irish twat anyway Billy?” “Sssshhhh!... we don’t want to talk about it!” “Oh I see!... anyway please to meet you 5$!” And shook his hand. “Are you guys heading back to London?” “Aye mate!... what about you?” “Getting off just over the border in France!” when Billy asked, “So how’s things with you?.... How’s that sweet wife of yours?” “For fuck sake Billy, don’t talk to me about that bitch!” “What’s up man?” “Ahk, I’m fed up with her… she’s a dirty bitch, that woman is!” “Is she too kinky for you or something?” “No, no Billy, I don’t mean that!... I mean she’s a dirty filthy bitch!” “How come mate?” “Well Billy!... I just came home last night, from an all-nighter at the tranny bars!... came in through the back door of the kitchen, as I normally do!... took a piss in the kitchen sink, as I normally do!... and there was a pile of dirty dishes still lying in it!........I tell you Billy, she’s a dirty filthy bitch!... and if she doesn’t buck up, I’ll be divorcing the cunt!.......... Oh! There’s my stop!...... see you later guys!”

So a couple of stops later, a French woman with a baby in her arms, boarded the train, and entered the compartment, “All right there Billy!... just thought it was you through the window!” “How’s it going missus!... sit down there and take all that weight off your feet!” As he glared at her big DD, well rounded, braless firm breasts, freely wobbling, in a thin loose white silk shirt, with large dark brown, rock hard nipples, that wanted to slice through the silk material, mmmmmm……..(What was I talking about?..... Oh yeh!... back to the story)…….

Anyway not long into the journey, the baby started to cry, and it seemed the father they got, the louder the crying got, with ear piercing screeches, until it was pretty unbearable. 5$, thinking how long they had to put up with this shit, asked the woman, “How far are you going missus?” “Oh, a couple of hours yet!.... I’m going all the way up to Paris!” “Well, for fuck sake, can you do something about that baby’s crying…. It’s giving me a headache!.... What’s wrong with it anyway?” “I know what’s wrong with it!..... It’s hungry!” “Well can you not feed it, with a Farley’s Rusk (a soft baby’s teething biscuit) or something!” “Oh no! The baby’s too young for that!… it’s still in the breast feeding stage!” “Well do something missus!... anything is better than listening to that all the way up to Paris!... please feed the dam thing!”

“Are you sure you don’t mind guy’s?” 5$, still with a frown on his face answered, “Not at all missus!.... I’m a family man myself, and I’ve bought and worn out the T-Shirt, about that, and quite use to it!” “Well in that case!” She wipes out one of her big rounded….(right cut it out Paul)… giving 5$ a boner, and proceeded to feed the baby, who was now quietly sucking away.

Not a minute went by, when Billy burst out laughing, slapping his hand on his knee, and rocking back and forth, annoying 5$, “What the fuck is the matter with you Billy?..... Behave yourself, and stop showing us up!” “Ok, sorry man!” Another minute went by, and Billy burst out laughing again, slapping his hand on his knee, and rocking back and forth, but trying to hold in the laughter, with his other hand over his mouth, “For fuck sake Billy what’s the matter with you?” “Fuck man! That’s the first time I seen this shit!” “What!... you never seen this before?” “No man!” “For fuck sake Billy!... this is the wonders of mother nature working at its best, and just about the most natural thing ever!..... So get a grip Billy!.... and stop showing us up!” “Ok, sorry man!”

Another minute passed, and again with Billy bursting out laughing, but now he’s almost rolling on the floor, “I told you to get a grip Billy, and I told you it’s the most natural thing in the world!..... The trouble with you Billy!... You’ve been fucking far too many ladyboys, for far too long!..... This is the most natural way to feed a baby!” “Yeh I know!... But surely the baby’s not going to eat all that!”

To be continued!

[paultain]

Anyway they both reached London, and Billy didn’t have to go back to work until the following week, so he thought it would be nice to go up to Birmingham with 5$ for a few days. So they rented a car, and drove up instead. 5$ was taking a short-cut through the country lanes, when suddenly they came across a massive big hole in the road which was impassable. So the two of them got out of the car, and stood there looking down this big hole, “I wonder how deep that is Billy?” “Fuck knows!... but I can’t see the bottom!... I’ll throw a stone down it, to see if we can hear anything!” Billy looked around for a stone, and threw it down the hole, but they didn’t hear anything. Then grabbed a bigger stone, and threw it down the hole, but still didn’t hear anything. Then the two of them grabbed a big bolder, and threw it down the hole, but still didn’t hear anything, “Fuck me man that’s deep!..... can’t hear anything hitting the bottom!”

Then Billy say’s, “I know man!... lets throw that big lump of a tree trunk down it!.... We’re bound to hear that hitting the bottom!” So the two of them struggled rolling this tree trunk over to the hole, and kicked it over the edge, but just in a split second a goat came flying out of the forest shouting, “For fuck sake Billlleee!” and jumped straight into the hole.

Standing there scratching their heads, a farmer came out of the woods, and shouts to Billy, “How’s it going Billy?..... Ya didn’t see ma goat anywhere, did ya?” “Funny you should say that man!.... We just saw a goat come flying out of that forest, and jumping down that big hole there!” “Ahk sure! it couldn’t have been my goat!.... I had it chained to a tree trunk!” “Oh! Eeemmm, well eeemmmm!.... I think we better go back down the road and hit the motorway!..... What do you think 5$?” “Well, eeeemmm! … I think we better!... God look at the time we better get a move on!”

Finally they were both sitting in a pub in Birmingham, when 5$ spots something in the newspaper he was reading, “Look at this Billy!... Their looking for a couple of blokes to clean all the windows on a small block of flats!.... That will give us a bit of extra cash, for LOS!” “Man, I’ll do anything to get back there!” So they both got the job, “Right Billy you do the front, and I’ll do the back!”

Starting at the top, in a cradle, Billy soon got into the routine of lowering himself down, cleaning that level of windows, lowering himself down to clean the next level of windows, and so on.

Half way through the day, he came to a window that was half opened, and inside was a cracking looking woman in a bath rob, with a baby in her arms, but didn’t notice Billy cleaning the windows. Billy thought to himself, “Fuck she’s nice, I wouldn’t mind shagging her for a couple of hours!” But just then she gets one of her big beautiful tits out, and started to breast feed the baby.

Billy is now hypnotized by this, with his eye’s wide open, and mouth gaping, cleaning the window with one hand, in a slow circular motion to a stop. Just then the woman notices Billy gaping through the open window, and lets out a scream, “Jesus missus!... it’s only me Billy!” “Oh! It you Billy!... I didn’t recognize you there!” “Missus! I think that’s wonderful the way mother nature works!..... I’ve only seen that once before, a couple of days ago, coming up in the train through France!”

“Oh, well then, in that case do you want to watch Billy?” “Oh, missus!... do you mind if I do?” As he scrambled through the window. “No, no Billy!... I don’t mind at all!.... sit yourself down there on the sofa!” So Billy makes himself comfortable on the sofa, and she gets her tit out, to continue feeding the baby. But having Billy watching her, she gets a bit frustrated and horny.

Billy interrupts her a couple of minutes later, “God missus, isn’t it wonderful how mother nature works!... It’s simply fascinating!” “Well!... in that case, do you want to have a go yourself Billy?” “God missus, would you mind if I do?” “Oh no Billy!” So she throws the baby on the sofa, and grabs Billy by the head, and shoves it into her big round breast, where Billy starts to suck like a goodin.

Now as she watches Billy sucking away at her nipple, she’s really getting horny, licking and pouting her lips, with her pussy dripping wet underneath her bath rob. She couldn’t stand the frustration any longer, and interrupts Billy, “Eeeemmm hhhaaa, Billy! Hhhaaa, is there anything else you would like to eat?” “Aye missus!..... you wouldn’t have a Farley’s Rusk in the house would ya?”

To be continued!

[paultain]

A couple of months later, Billy is back at work, when his old dad called him, to come over to Cyprus for a family get together, and that his cousin from Texas was coming over also, and wanted to see him there. Besides that, his old dad wanted a break, and needed Billy to look after his pet shop, for a few weeks.

So Billy flew over to Cyprus, and rented out a car at the airport, and thought he would drive all the way to his dad’s home, taking in the scenery driving on the country roads. But not long into the journey, the car broke down, so Billy got out, lifted the bonnet/hood, and stood there scratching his head, looking at the engine, as he didn’t have a clue what was wrong with it.

Just then a big white horse, stuck it’s head over the gate, “All right there Billy!.... What’s up?” This frightened the shit out of Billy thinking, “Fuck me!...A talking horse!” But stupidly answered the horse, “Oh man!... this piece of shit just broke down on me, and I don’t know what’s wrong with it!” “Well check your carburetor Billy!” “The what?... What’s that?” “That thing in there Billy!” And the horse proceeded to give Billy instructions on how to fix it, all the wile with Billy’s heart pounding, over the shock of this talking horse.

Sure enough moments later, the car started up, and with his heart racing, Billy drove like crazy to get out of there, until he reached a pub five miles down the road, where he stopped to recover from this shock, and ran into the pub.

Billy stood at the bar out of breath, and the barman came to him, “All right there Billy!... haven’t seen you in a wile!” “Quick!... Give me a double whiskey man! Give me a double whiskey! ” “Ok! Ok! Billy!... keep your hair on man!” And pours him a double whiskey, which Billy knocks back in one gulp, “Quick! Quick!... Give me another double whiskey man!” ” “Ok! Ok! Billy!... take it easy man!” And pours him another double whiskey, which Billy again knocks back in one gulp, “Quick! Quick!... You better give me a triple whiskey this time man!”

The barman realizing that Billy was in some sort of distress, pours him another drink, and asked, “Here Billy drink this and calm down, and tell me what’s wrong mate!” “Well (gulp) you’ll never believe this!... but five mile back up the road, my car broke down, and just as I did, this fucking horse popped his head over a gate, and told me what was wrong with the car!” The barman gave Billy a funny look, “Aye right Billy!... are you on medication or something?” “I’m telling you man! A fucking horse told me what was wrong with my car!” The barman gave Billy another funny look, “Yeh! Right billy!.... and what color was the horse?” “It was a big fucking white one man!” “Aaahh Right Billy!..... your lucky there mate!” “Whys that man?” “The black one knows fuck all about cars!”

Anyway a couple of days later, there was a big feast at his old dad’s farm, where they were having the family get-to-gather. And after the feast, Billy and his cousin from Texas, took a stroll around the farm, “Hey Billy?... what’s that growing over there?” “Those are apples man!” “They’re apples!... for fuck sake Billy, back home in Texas, we grow peas bigger than that!” “Yeh man, right!” Billy started to get the hump as they walked down the road a bit, “Hey Billy?... what’s that growing over there?” “Those are cabbages man!” “They’re cabbages!... for fuck sake Billy, back home in Texas, we grow Brussels sprouts bigger than that!” “Yeh man, right!” His cousin stops him again, “Hey Billy?... what’s that growing over there?” “Ah those are good old Cyprus potatoes man!” “They’re potatoes!... for fuck sake Billy, back home in Texas, we grow them this big!” As his Texan cousin held out his hands a meter apart, “Yeh man!....... but we only grow them to fit our mouth’s!”

To be continued!

[paultain]

So now Billy is taking care of his dad’s pet shop for a few weeks to give his old dad a break. And one day a little old lady came in,

“Hello missus, what can I do for you today?”

“Oh it’s you Billy!... Listen son, I just lost my husband last year, after 50 years of marriage, and I’m quite a bit lonely, with no one to talk too!... And I was wondering, do you have anything that talks, just to keep me company, for my last days on this Earth?”

“Well missus I got this cock-a-too, that talks like a good-en for $200!”

“Oh no, no! ….Billy I’m only an old age pensioner, and can’t afford that on the pension I get!”

“Ok missus, I understand!... What about this African Grey Parrot, even a better talker at $100!”

“Oh no Billy!... I can’t afford that son!... Have you got anything cheaper?”

“Well what about this budgie here for $20!”

“Ahh that’s more like it!.... Does it talk though?”

“Fuck aye missus!... talk your leg off it would!”

“Well alright then!,,, I’ll take that, although I still can’t really afford it, as I only get a small pension, but I need something to talk too!”

So the old lady took the budgie home, even though her purse was a fair bit lighter. But two day’s later she came back into the shop….

“Hi Billy!.... I thought you said that budgie talks!... I’ve had it for two day’s now, and it hasn’t said a word!”

“Fuck me missus!... I can’t understand that!... It should be climbing all around its cage, talking its head off!”

“What cage?”

“A cage just like this one!”

“Well how much is the cage then?”

“Well normally $20, but saying it’s you, I’ll give you it for $15!”

“I can’t afford this Billy, you know I’m on a small pension…. Ahk give me it anyway!”

So off she went home with the cage. But two days later, she came back into the shop, with an angry frown on her face……

“Here Billy!... I’ve had this bloody budgie for 4 days now, and it still hasn’t said a bloody word!... Are you taking the piss Billy?”

“Fuck no missus!... I can’t understand that!... It should be climbing all around its cage, and standing on its perch, talking its head off!”

“What bloody perch?”

“A perch just like this one!”

“How much is the bloody perch then?”

“Eeemmm, $5 missus!”

“Give me the bloody perch then!”

And off she went out of the shop mumbling away, about her being a poor old age pensioner, and she couldn’t afford this shit. But 2 day’s later, she come flying into the pet shop, with steam coming out of both ears…….

“Listen pal!... Are you taking the piss, or have you sold me a fucking dud budgie?... I’ve had that fucking budgie for 6 days now, and it still hasn’t said a fucking word!”

“Fuck no missus!... I can’t understand that!... It should be climbing all around its cage, standing on its perch, and running up and down its little ladder, talking its head off!”

“What fucking ladder?”

“A little ladder just like this one!”

“How much is the fucking ladder then?”

“Eeemmm, $5 missus!”

“Give me the fucking ladder then!... you fucking rogue!”

And she stormed out of the shop shouting abuse back at Billy, wile he gave a sigh of relief. But the next day, she came in like a storm trooper, grabbed Billy by the throat, and had him pinned over the counter, with a clenched fist, ready to punch Billy in the face…..

“Listen you little shit!... 7 days now I’ve had that fucking budgie, and still not a fucking word from the little bastard!..... I’m going to fuck you up Billy!”

“For fuck sake wait missus, wait missus!... I really can’t understand that!... It should be climbing all around its cage, standing on its perch, running up and down its little ladder, and dinging his little bell, talking its head off!”

“What fucking little bell… you little shit?”

“Aammm a little bell just like this one!”

“How much is the fucking bell then?... you piece of shit!”

“Eeemmm, well eeemmm, $5 missus!”

“Give me the fucking bell then!... you fucker, taking advantage of old age pensioners!”

Then dropped Billy from her grasp, and off she went raging. But the next day she came running in, kicking the door off the hinges with a baseball bat, and Billy tried to run behind the counter, but she jumped over the counter beating Billy to it, got him down on the ground, and shoved the baseball bat in his face……

“Right! I’ve had enough!... 8 days and out of pocket $50, and still not a word from the little bastard!.... I should rip you a new asshole with this bat!”

“Wow, wow!..For fuck sake wait a minute missus, wait a minute!... I really, really can’t understand that!... It should be climbing all around its cage, standing on its perch, running up and down its little ladder, dinging his little bell, and looking at himself in his little mirror, talking its head off, cause he thinks he’s talking to another budgie!”

“A fucking mirror!... How much is the fucking mirror?”

“Only 5$ missus, only 5$!”

“Give me the fucking mirror!.... But I’ll tell you what!.... if the little bastard doesn’t talk this time!... you’re a fucking dead man!”

So she once again stormed out, and threw a brick threw the window for good measure. But the next day, Billy was putting new glass in the window, when he spotted the little old lady, coming down the street, ran back into the shop, and hid in the back room. The little old lady came quietly and gently inside, with a sad expression on her face. Billy pop his head out from the back room……

“Oh, eemm, are you all right there missus?”

“Yes! Yes! Fine!”

“Eemm Sooo aahh, how’s your budgie?”

“The budgie’s dead!”

“Oh Jesus missus, sorry to hear that!... Eemm Sooo aahh, did the budgie talk?”

“Yes! Yes! It did!... just before it died!”

“Sooo aahh, what did it say?”

“HAVE YOU GOT ANY SEED?”

[paultain]

Billy is walking down the street in Pattaya one afternoon, when he sees a ladyboy with most perfect breasts.

He says to her, "Hey miss, would you let me BITE your breasts for 100 baht?"

"Baaa! You crazy farang!" she replies, and keeps walking away.

He runs around the Soi’s, and gets to the next corner before she does. "Would you let me bite your breasts for 1,000 baht?" he asks again.

"Listen you crazy old farang!... I'm not work bar… I same, same, law student!... Got it?"

So old Billy runs around the next Soi’s, and faces her again, "Would you let me bite your breasts - just once - for 10,000 baht?"

She thinks about it for a while and says, "Hmmmmm, 10,000 baht... Ok, just once, but not here. Let's go to that dark alley over there."

So they go into the alley, where she takes off her blouse to reveal the most perfect breasts in the world.

As soon as he sees them, he grabs them and starts caressing them, fondling them slowly, kissing them, licking them, burying his face in them - but not biting them.

The ladyboy finally gets annoyed and asks, 'Well? Are you gonna bite them or not?'

"Nah," says old Billy... "It fucking costs too much!"

[paultain]

Billy takes a young farm fresh ladyboy from PookSwan, but before he took her back to the hotel room, her seasoned ladyboy mate, told her if she had any problems, she can call her.

So off they went back to the hotel, but an hour later, the young farm fresh ladyboy, calls her seasoned mate who was still in the PookSwan bar.

"Well," said the seasoned LB, "Every thing Ok?.... he fuck you too much?"

‘No, no, he old man… he cannot fuck too much!” Suddenly she burst out crying. "But I want you take me out of here!..... I vely scare!”

“Why you vely scare?... he fuck all ladyboy in Pattaya!.... and never have problem!”

“Yes, yes I know!... but when he fuck me… he sa-peek vely bad 4- letter words!... I vely scare!... please come get me now!”

“But if you not stay till morning, Billy not pay you money!”

“I not care about that!... I vely scare when he sa-peek vely bad 4-letter words…. He sa-peek vely bad words, I not hear before!.... Please come get me!”

“What vely bad words?”

"Please not make me sa-peek these vely bad 4-letter words!... I too shy to sa-peek on phone to you!... it too much bad!...COME GET ME, PLEASE!!"

"Take it easy!.... I your good friend…. you must tell me why you cry too much. Tell me these vely bad 4-letter words!"

Still sobbing, the young farm fresh LB said, "Oh!... he sa-peek words like: dust, wash, iron, cook..."

"Ok, Ok! Enough!... I come now on motor-ciek, and pick you up!... and I boxing Billy!”

[glasswax]

Billy takes a young farm fresh ladyboy from PookSwan, but before he took her back to the hotel room, her seasoned ladyboy mate, told her if she had any problems, she can call her.

So off they went back to the hotel, but an hour later, the young farm fresh ladyboy, calls her seasoned mate who was still in the PookSwan bar.

"Well," said the seasoned LB, "Every thing Ok?.... he fuck you too much?"

‘No, no, he old man… he cannot fuck too much!” Suddenly she burst out crying. "But I want you take me out of here!..... I vely scare!”

“Why you vely scare?... he fuck all ladyboy in Pattaya!.... and never have problem!”

“Yes, yes I know!... but when he fuck me… he sa-peek vely bad 4- letter words!... I vely scare!... please come get me now!”

“But if you not stay till morning, Billy not pay you money!”

“I not care about that!... I vely scare when he sa-peek vely bad 4-letter words…. He sa-peek vely bad words, I not hear before!.... Please come get me!”

“What vely bad words?”

"Please not make me sa-peek these vely bad 4-letter words!... I too shy to sa-peek on phone to you!... it too much bad!...COME GET ME, PLEASE!!"

"Take it easy!.... I your good friend…. you must tell me why you cry too much. Tell me these vely bad 4-letter words!"

Still sobbing, the young farm fresh LB said, "Oh!... he sa-peek words like: dust, wash, iron, cook..."

"Ok, Ok! Enough!... I come now on motor-ciek, and pick you up!... and I boxing Billy!”

Brilliant stuff. Enjoyed it all. Glass

[SLBT]

Paulie, whit the feck are ye smokin sunnie? Bejezus!! lol