Lefty Posted March 5, 2011 Share Posted March 5, 2011 I'm walking down Beach Road, Wanna shoot my load, I got 7 lbs on my mind, 4 that wanna own me, 2 that wanna stone me, One said she's a friend of mine. Take it easy, take it easy, Don't let the achin' in your balls make you crazy. Get it up while you still can, Don't even try to understand, Fuck some lbs is the plan, And take it easy. Well I'm walking to The Corner, Got a great big ragin' boner, So quite a fine sight to see, Then a hot lb, (oh my Buddha), On a bright red mota scoota, Slows down to take a look at me. Come on baby, don't say maybe, I gotta know, is your hot ass gonna save me? Some we lose and some we win, But we won't ever be here again, So spread those cheeks I'm sliding in, To take it easy... I'm running down 3rd Road, Still want to shoot my load, Got some tasty bar girls on my mind, I want a real good lover, Who don't look like my mother, That won't be hard to find. Take it easy, take it easy, Can't let the pup tent in my boxers Make me crazy. Come on baby, it ain't no maybe, I just know your shaved smooth coochie Is gonna save me. I want to eat you all I can, All your moans I'll understand, Then long strokin's in the plan, It's so easy... ~ Khun Lefty, 2011. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bumblebee Posted March 6, 2011 Share Posted March 6, 2011 Brilliant Khun Lefty. That gave me one hell of a tearful laugh, but I fear you have too mutt free time on your hands in Los just now. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Luung Posted March 6, 2011 Share Posted March 6, 2011 Take it easy, take it easy, Don't let the achin' in your balls make you crazy. Get it up while you still can, Don't even try to understand, Fuck some lbs is the plan, And take it easy. Come on baby, don't say maybe, I gotta know, is your hot ass gonna save me? Some we lose and some we win, But we won't ever be here again, So spread those cheeks I'm sliding in, To take it easy... "Come on baby, don't say maybe, I gotta know, is your hot ass gonna save me"?.. Classic country, rock writing at its best. That & the rest of the above are well worth a +1 just in themselves... Well done!.. You've just cheered my Sunday morning up! I think Bumble Bee might be right about the too much time on your hands thing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Luung Posted March 6, 2011 Share Posted March 6, 2011 Fuck I've just given Bumble Bee a +1 by mistake... Can we take it off of him please Mods? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lefty Posted March 6, 2011 Author Share Posted March 6, 2011 Thanks guys. You know I like to walk, need to walk...yesterday I took a new route back from Pattaya Nua to Klang, that was recommended by my best good friend, PDogg. During the walk it just came to me in a temporary moment of lucid thought. My fear was I would forget some of it before I had the chance to type it out. Lo and behold not only did I remember, but a few hrs sleep helped think of the end part. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bumblebee Posted March 6, 2011 Share Posted March 6, 2011 Fuck I've just given Bumble Bee a +1 by mistake... Can we take it off of him please Mods? Try not to lose too much sleep about it Lung. :p Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DownLoLarry Posted March 6, 2011 Share Posted March 6, 2011 For those that want instumental backup so u can sing it out loud. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
duke007 Posted March 7, 2011 Share Posted March 7, 2011 I can just imagine you on a a Harley Davidson riding down Beach road singing this song Lefty :lolu: +1 from me mate Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crackerjax Posted March 9, 2011 Share Posted March 9, 2011 LOL Nice effort Lefty! I'm scheduled to see the Eagles this Saturday night in Beijing and hoping they do your version. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Luung Posted March 9, 2011 Share Posted March 9, 2011 Short Time California... By Lung 09-03-54 On a dark desert highway, cool gizz in my hair Warm smell of bum juice, rising up through the air Up ahead in the distance, I saw a shimmering light My penis head grew heavy, but my cock looked thin I had to stop for the night There ‘katoeys’ stood in the doorway; I smelt that old pissy smell And I was thinking to myself, ’This could be heaven or this could be hell’ Then she lit up a candle and she drove it in all the way There were voices down the corridor, I thought I heard them say... Welcome to the Short Time California Such a lovely place Spunked up all over her face Plenty of room at the Short Time California You can drink the beer & you can shag LB’s in here Her mind is definitely-twisted, she got the long cock that bends Heshe’s fucked a lot of fat old boys, that she calls friends? How they prance in the courtyard, rancid smelling sweat. Some dance to remember, some dance with regret So I got stuck up the captain, ’Please don’t fuckin’ whine’ He said, ‘I haven’t had that much cock shoved up here since nineteen sixty nine’ And still those voices are calling from far away, Wake you up in the middle of the night Just to hear them say... Welcome to the Short Time California Such a lovely place Gizz splashed up her lovely face They’ve been spunking it up at up at The Short Time California What a nice surprise, when she unzips her flies Spunk dripping off the ceiling, Her grip was like a vice And she said you’re a prisoners here, cause I think you're nice’ And in the masturbators chambers, We gathered for the feast I stabbed her arse same as if with steely knives, But that just couldn’t kill the beast Last thing I remember, I was Ramming hermaphrodites at the door I had to find the back passage That I cum in before ’Relax,’ said the ladyman, We are programmed to receive. You can get your dick out any time you like, But you can never leave! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DownLoLarry Posted March 9, 2011 Share Posted March 9, 2011 Great lyrics Lung! For those who want sing these lyrics out loud, here's the instrumental version: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Luung Posted March 12, 2011 Share Posted March 12, 2011 I think I just killed Lefty's thread Larry?... Didn't think it was that bad?.. Oh well, others must be the judge of that I suppose, I'd best stick to telling lies in bars Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pdogg Posted March 13, 2011 Share Posted March 13, 2011 I think I just killed Lefty's thread Larry?... Didn't think it was that bad?.. Oh well, others must be the judge of that I suppose, I'd best stick to telling lies in bars Rewriting dirty lyrics is fun. Some tunes better suited than others. it was a bit of a parlor game back in the 30's to come up with dirty lyrics to Cole Porter's You're the Top. It is rumoured that the dirty lyrics below were written by Irving Berlin: You're The Top!You're Miss Pinkham's tonic (alt.: "a gin and tonic") You're The Top! You're a high colonic You're the rhythmic beat (alt.: "burning heat") Of a bridal suite in use You're the mound (alt.: "breasts") of Venus You're King Kong's penis You're self-abuse! You're an arch In the Rome collection You're the starch In a groom's erection I'm a eunuch who Has just been through an op But if, baby, I'm the bottom You're The Top! The theme of topping especially suited for ladyboys. Can anyone come up with some good lyrics for this? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-7UwoPT_Xd4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pdogg Posted March 13, 2011 Share Posted March 13, 2011 The original lyrics (in the video) sung by Miss Ella. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pdogg Posted March 13, 2011 Share Posted March 13, 2011 Alternative lyrics, albeit not dirty, filthy, or racy....sung by Ella and Nat King Kong. See how easy it is......... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e_HY17f6_xM&NR=1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pdogg Posted March 13, 2011 Share Posted March 13, 2011 Sinatra and Ethel Merman............. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pdogg Posted March 13, 2011 Share Posted March 13, 2011 Barbra and Ryan O'Neal....... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pdogg Posted March 13, 2011 Share Posted March 13, 2011 Patti Lupone version... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lefty Posted March 14, 2011 Author Share Posted March 14, 2011 I think I just killed Lefty's thread Larry?... Didn't think it was that bad?.. Oh well, others must be the judge of that I suppose, I'd best stick to telling lies in bars I just now saw it Mr Lung, and I think its pretty darned good. +1 for you young man. I may have used a few different words here and there, not better, just different. BTW in the original song, the line that went "warm smell of colitas rising up through the air..", a guy I was stationed in Korea with had a Spanish wife, so he knew some Spanish, and he claimed that colitas meant asses in Spanish slang, the word directly translates to "tails". That would go along with strong sexual undertone the entire song had. My 2nd fav of their songs after Lying Eyes. BTW, you didn't kill the thread either. If some of the limber dick cocksuckers don't like it well tough. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Luung Posted March 14, 2011 Share Posted March 14, 2011 You've made me feel whole again Khun Lefty Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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