Guest route67 Posted January 9, 2014 Share Posted January 9, 2014 The missus and I were relaxing in bed, watching TV. She, of course, had control of the remote, and ceased channel surfing at the beginning of a movie. Said movie turned out to be hilariously awful: terrible acting, cheesy dialogue, SFX that most have cost literally 10s of $s (and it's all there, up on the screen), hackneyed directing - well, you get the picture. I recognised Ming Na Wen (ER, Marvels Agents of SHIELD) and Nicholas Turturro (NYPD Blue) sleepacting their way through this mind-bogglingly awful turd of an excuse for a farrago of a sham of a travesty of a movie. At one point, Turturro's character is supposedly on an oi rig which has drilled into an undersea volcano and is filing up with molten lava, his uncle has sustained a life-threatening injury, two friends have just been killed, and there is a super-storm directly above threatening the rig. Turturro reacts to this with less emotion than someone complaining about a dirty spoon in a restaurant. So, I simply had to look on IMDb to find out more. The horror was revealed to be Super Cyclone (2012), and is now officially the worst movie I've ever had the pleasure of viewing (and I've seen several Michael Bay films, Star Trek Into Darkness, and the last batman film, which was so bad I seem to have erased its name from my memory - so it's up against some pretty stiff competition). All of this led me to wonder what is the worst movie YOU have ever seen, worst TV show, and worst book you've ever read? For me, the TV show has to be the 1990 adaptation of Jeffrey Archer's Not A Penny More, Not A Penny Less. Apart from the SFX, I could pretty much copy and paste the comments re acting, writing, and directing from those about Super Cyclone. My buddies and I watch this rubbish with a mixture of horror and fascination, topped off with bouts of uncontrollable laughter. I can highly recommend this show as an antidote for depression. As for books, Ghost House (Clare McNally, 1979) is eye-wateringly, ludicrously funny. not that it's meant to be. My girlfriend of the time (a GG - I know, I know) were on holiday in the north of Italy, and were housebound due to a combination of bad weather and illness. We raced through all the seemingly half-decent literature that previous tenants had left behind. And then I picked up Ghost House. Seemingly standard awful late-seventies Amityville rip-off fare (clear by the end of the first paragraph), it wasn't until the last line of the prologue that it made me sit up and laugh, as it hit me then that this book was not just bad, but had the potential to be truly, interestingly awful. The GF and I spent the rest of the afternoon reading alternate chapters aloud to each other, as we could barely get through a single chapter without collapsing into fits of giggles. So, those are my choices. Over to you, dear BMs... 3 Quote Link to comment
Tomcat Posted January 9, 2014 Share Posted January 9, 2014 If you suffer from insomnia try Nigel Mansells Autobiography, that should help ( it could have been a biography but im not checking) The Evil Dead was a terrible film and how i suffered that rubbish for an hour ill never know.. one just thinks , it may get better( it never does) For me, 20 minutes is usually the tipping point with a film at which stage i hit the off button if its lousy. Life is to short Quote Link to comment
deepthroat Posted January 10, 2014 Share Posted January 10, 2014 Funny you should pick "Evil Dead" Tomcat - I was a huge fan of the original, directed on a shoestring budget by Sam Raimi. Sam went on to direct 2 more Evil Deads, then the first 3 Spiderman films as well as cult stuff like Darkman and the recent (I thought horrible) Oz film. He's always been quirky and inconsistent, but I gotta love him for that. And as a 24 year old Video Store employee, when the original Evil Dead came out, it was revolutionary. I must assume you're referring to the recent remake (by a totally different creative team) which my girlfriend forced me to watch a couple of months ago on cable. I was actually mildly amused as it didn't totally butcher the legacy of the original, and updated it with some interesting stuff. All in all, I thought it was an enjoyable waste of 90 minutes. That's what makes film criticism so much fun - one man's meat and all that! I admit I'll be in the minority regarding this film, but I am happy to embrace exploitation stuff if it's done capably. I've got a brand-new BluRay disc in front of me that I'm watching tonight called "42nd Street Forever" which is nothing but trailers from grind house classics (like the original Evil Dead). I'll be in hog heaven watching that! http://synapse-films.com/synapse-films/42nd-street-forever-the-blu-ray-edition/ When I read this topic my first instinct was to call out one of the acknowledged schlock classics, like Plan Nine From Outer Space or Glen or Glenda (both by the trash auteur Ed D. Wood). But when I actually thought about it a bit I decided that my current most detested film would have to be The Happening starring Mark Wahlberg and directed/written by M. Night Shamalamadingdong. I LOVED his first two films - The Sixth Sense and Unbreakable - but everything since then has been a case of diminishing returns, which each being dramatically worse than it's predecessor. I actually laughed out loud in the opening scene of The Happening because Mark Wahlberg as a math (or was it science?) teacher was so preposterous I thought it was supposed to be a satire, but found it was meant to be taken straight-faced. As close runners up I'd have to go for almost anything by Michael Bay, with Pearl Harbor and the most recent Transformers film taking top honors. Quote Link to comment
RocketSquirrel Posted January 10, 2014 Share Posted January 10, 2014 Try "Just My Luck" starring Lindsay Lohan. I challenge anyone to watch the whole thing Quote Link to comment
Tomcat Posted January 10, 2014 Share Posted January 10, 2014 I must assume you're referring to the recent remake (by a totally different creative team) which my girlfriend forced me to watch a couple of months ago on cable. I was actually mildly amused as it didn't totally butcher the legacy of the original, and updated it with some interesting stuff. All in all, I thought it was an enjoyable waste of 90 minutes. It could have been a remake as i only see this for the first time a few weeks back on cable. Maybe it was set in a log cabin or something with this thing trapped in a cellar from memory but i was expecting more from what had been built up as a horror classic. Of course i could have got the name of the film wrong but in thought it was Evil Dead. Maybe it was another of the " Evils genre / copies / similar name" Ill have to watch it again now to make sure i got the right film Quote Link to comment
deepthroat Posted January 10, 2014 Share Posted January 10, 2014 It could have been a remake as i only see this for the first time a few weeks back on cable. Maybe it was set in a log cabin or something with this thing trapped in a cellar from memory but i was expecting more from what had been built up as a horror classic. Of course i could have got the name of the film wrong but in thought it was Evil Dead. Maybe it was another of the " Evils genre / copies / similar name" Ill have to watch it again now to make sure i got the right film No, you got it right, and most likely it's the new remake as that's been on cable a bunch lately. It's definitely not everyone's cup of tea, so I'm not surprised - I'd bet it would be on many member's "least favorites" lists. I'm just weird that way. Quote Link to comment
JaiDee Posted January 11, 2014 Share Posted January 11, 2014 Try "Just My Luck" starring Lindsay Lohan. I challenge anyone to watch the whole thing haha, now THAT is a challenge I have to accept!! LiLo is always good for a chuckle, even in the best of times. OK, here is mine, a cult classic from 1985 called "Re-Animator.'' So bad it's good. http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0089885/?ref_=fn_al_tt_1 "Top 10 Horror Film" is being a little kind here Quote Link to comment
Tomcat Posted January 11, 2014 Share Posted January 11, 2014 ha ha , i agree that Re Animator was so corny it was worth watching. The guys head in the Dish was a killer. Also i think there was some funny sex angles as well with the head watching on I love Horror films. Metal hammer magazine sometimes publishes the worst horror films being made around the world right now , one such schlock production was Frankenstein Vs the Squid Monster , made in Turkey, where the squid was a cheap rubber creation with fangs that would not even fool a 5 year old... ill have to try to get the listings.. Quote Link to comment
williethepimp Posted January 13, 2014 Share Posted January 13, 2014 Ive never seen anything more annoyingly awful than "face off" nick Cage and whoever (i forget) shite and pish of the highest order...the closest i have ever come to smashing the tv screen a la Elvis .....i'll probably think of a few other movies later...TV? Mr fucking Bean...the biggest crock of shit ever...... Quote Link to comment
xyzzy Posted January 13, 2014 Share Posted January 13, 2014 Some (all?) of the "Killer Tomatoes" movies are the worst ever. I accidently happened upon one while having a few beers in a bar on Soi New Plaza a few years ago. I wrote the name down and the movie didn't even show up on IMDB. It was so bad you couldn't stop watching. Oh those mischievous tomatoes... Quote Link to comment
Lefty Posted January 28, 2014 Share Posted January 28, 2014 I thought Hobo With a Shotgun was really bad. Never want to see that mindless tripe again. Years ago, Soylent Green put me literally to sleep in the theater. The most overrated movie IMO, since it won the Oscar one year, was Ordinary People. Seen it once, never care to again. Quote Link to comment
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