Life in the Village

[KenW]

damn shame I was not in Asia, I could have done you a perfect paint job with none of that shit.

They've actually done an excellent paint job JSG, and competent renovations. It's just the shit I had to endure that did for me.

[KenW]

This sounds more like the KenW I read at the beginning . The one who was disgusted and LEAVING Vn for some greener pasture. What happened? Why did you end up back?

So what lured you back?

In a nutshell, I spent almost all of 2011 believing I would be leaving VN, my house sold, fed up, all that stuff, and writing same on LBR. In December of that year, and then again when negotiations were finalised in Australia in Feb-March of this year, I was made an offer too good to refuse. To stay on, that is. It was, as put to me, a deal of the kind I wanted. So all plans to leave were happily put on hold.

It didn't change my attitude to certain VNese or to VN, but I had once known happiness here, and in 2012 that has now returned to me. [Go away Hubris!]

[KenW]

you never tried PP? For all it's faults, I kinda LIKE Cambodia, tho I stay in much smaller cities like Kampong Cham or Pursat.

I have been on short trips to PP now some 5 times I think it is. I will be going again in October. I have not tried living there long time yet. But if things go pear shaped here on my new deal, then PP looms as the place I'll head. I like Cambodia very much, though I only know PP and Siem Reap a bit.

[KenW]

and update us on that femboy waitstaff that suddenly lost the girly stuff, will ya?

I will, but be patient. I have had all this house stuff, and now I've got work to do that will take me into October. I told both Ms Mee and the femboy you mention, Tien, that they won't see me for a while, but assured them not to give up on me. I explained why to them. They seemed cool with that. But I'll post as soon as I can get back to the shellfish eatery in relaxed mode for a nice evening with them.

[KenW]

Mr. Ken,

Not knowing the size of your place or the extent of the required renovations and painting, I would think it would have been better to hire two young femboys to paint while you sat, watched their labours, and provided lip-smacking refreshments when necessary. It would have taken longer I am sure but it would have been a lot less stressful, perhaps even excitingly entertaining. Think about it!

Ha, yes Sam, grand idea. I'll think about it for next time I need anything done.

[KenW]

You are a Born romantic Ken

Aw shucks, Tel.

[KenW]

Sorry to hear the renovation was so problematic, Ken ...

It's over and done now anyway 4:17. And as I said, I have a house that gives me quite some quality of life. The whole thing was so dirt cheap too; I forgot to mention that.

[KenW]

Ah, how easy it is in this part of the world. Really, all you have to do is show up.

I had the empties from 2 cartons of beer cans consumed over the holiday long weekend in my forecourt. I waited patiently for a recycler to pass by. On any given normal working day at least one goes by about every 10 minutes.

One of the surprising and nice things about this place is that they do genuinely recycle. No wheelie bins or anything like that. The company who does it employs a horde of collectors, 99% of whom are women, who set about the place on bicycles with big bags attached behind their seat, like saddlebags. Into these go cans, plastic bottles, jars, paper, cardboard, etc.

But, unlike in the West where I used to pay a rate to the local council for them to supply a wheelie bin and collect once a week, here the neat trick is they buy the stuff from you. Only coffee money small change, but OK.

So 2 collectors, cycling together, chatting, pull over. One sits to the side watching. The main woman makes me an offer whereupon I abuse her. She ups the ante and I agree. 60 US cents equivalent for the 4 dozen cans and the cardboard cartons.

Then out of the blue she says to me (all in VNese): are you married?

Yes, I reply. I always do this as a safety mechanism, to keep at bay anyone I may need to. It's not a lie either, as my estranged wife, living in Australia, and I have not put through a divorce.

Then she stuns me: Do you want a second wife?

Yes, I say. (I always say this too, even if I'm only kidding. The real answer should be: no fucking way.)

Do you want me, she asks.

Show me your face, I order. (All these collectors wear a uniform of conical straw hat, head scarf, face mask, so you can only see their eyes.)

Off comes the paraphenalia. She is older than the eyes looked, maybe early 30s, and plain looking. I am unable to disguise my disappointment. She sees through me straightaway, querying: ugly, no?

No, I say, average. Then to make up for the letdown, I venture: give me a kiss.

I am shirtless; hence she points to my gold neck chain and says brazenly: give me that and I'll give you... [her VNese tails off and I do not hear whether she is willing to give me a kiss or more].

Ah, just kidding, I say, drawing my security gate closed. They proceed to pack the cans.

But how easy is it. Had I been foolishly or hornily willing to fork out some cash I am sure she would have screwed me or sucked my cock or whatever, right there on the spot, in my front parlour, while her colleague guarded their bikes.

Why would one ever live anywhere else?

[4:17]

... But, unlike in the West where I used to pay a rate to the local council for them to supply a wheelie bin and collect once a week, here the neat trick is they buy the stuff from you. Only coffee money small change, but OK.

D'oh! And I've been giving it away all this time. I had no idea ...

... Then out of the blue she says to me (all in VNese): are you married?

Yes, I reply. I always do this as a safety mechanism, to keep at bay anyone I may need to. ...

I laughed out loud at this one. I need to learn this/develop this instinct. Seems like I have to explain why I'm not married at least once a week -- much more often than when I lived in Thailand, it seems. Perhaps there is some cultural observation to made in there, somewhere.

In any event, at one point I even thought about buying a cheap wedding band, in hopes it might cut down on the inquiries.

Plus one, as always ...

[williethepimp]

[quote name='KenW' timestamp='1346808621' post='31957'

Then out of the blue she says to me (all in VNese): are you married?

Yes, I reply. I always do this as a safety mechanism, to keep at bay anyone I may need to. It's not a lie either, as my estranged wife, living in Australia, and I have not put through a divorce.

Then she stuns me: Do you want a second wife?

Yes, I say. (I always say this too, even if I'm only kidding. The real answer should be: no fucking way.)

Do you want me, she asks.

Show me your face, I order. (All these collectors wear a uniform of conical straw hat, head scarf, face mask, so you can only see their eyes.)

Off comes the paraphenalia. She is older than the eyes looked, maybe early 30s, and plain looking. I am unable to disguise my disappointment. She sees through me straightaway, querying: ugly, no?

No, I say, average. Then to make up for the letdown, I venture: give me a kiss.

I am shirtless; hence she points to my gold neck chain and says brazenly: give me that and I'll give you... [her VNese tails off and I do not hear whether she is willing to give me a kiss or more].

Ah, just kidding, I say, drawing my security gate closed. They proceed to pack the cans.

But how easy is it. Had I been foolishly or hornily willing to fork out some cash I am sure she would have screwed me or sucked my cock or whatever, right there on the spot, in my front parlour, while her colleague guarded their bikes.

Why would one ever live anywhere else?

I laughed out loud at this Ken.....Why indeed ,given a choice,would anyone want to live anywhere but asia.......

[KenW]

Why indeed ,given a choice,would anyone want to live anywhere but asia.......

Why indeed, willie.

[Luung]

I laughed out loud at this Ken.....Why indeed ,given a choice,would anyone want to live anywhere but asia.......

I laughed out loud at this too Willy!... Great minds & all that...

It's funny, I may be getting a bit disillusioned & jaded with Patts & Thailand generally, but I most definitely ain't finished with asia & the total inappropriatness of the place, not yet, not by a long chalk!!!

Roll on Cambo in Feb... Any chance of you being there Ken? I've had to change me dates from November, sorry mate.

And BTW, superb stuff, as usual Ken!

[KenW]

Roll on Cambo in Feb... Any chance of you being there Ken? I've had to change me dates from November, sorry mate.

And BTW, superb stuff, as usual Ken!

Thank you Lung.

My plan at this stage is to return briefly to Pattaya for GOTC III at start of Feb. Make trip long enough to include your birthday, which as I recall is first week or so in Feb.

I am always up for a stay in Phnom Penh. So either before or after or both that P visit, I will no doubt find a way to spend time in the capital once more.

I am also thinking through (dreaming?) a plan for 2013 to visit Indonesia again. It's so long since I was there. Probably not Bali, I've done enough of that, though not LB scene. Also they blow up Australians in Bali.

But there is good noise about LBs in Jakarta and Jogyakarta and I am impressed with what I hear.

[SiamSam]

Lung's birthday is February 05th.

[Luung]

Thank you Lung.

My plan at this stage is to return briefly to Pattaya for GOTC III at start of Feb. Make trip long enough to include your birthday, which as I recall is first week or so in Feb.

I am always up for a stay in Phnom Penh. So either before or after or both that P visit, I will no doubt find a way to spend time in the capital once more.

I am also thinking through (dreaming?) a plan for 2013 to visit Indonesia again. It's so long since I was there. Probably not Bali, I've done enough of that, though not LB scene. Also they blow up Australians in Bali.

But there is good noise about LBs in Jakarta and Jogyakarta and I am impressed with what I hear.

I've just posted this on another thread, but how about meeting in Patts, doin' the BM meet & my birthday & then scooting off to Cambo together?

If all goes well & we bond, I'd most definitely be up for an Indonesian trip the following year to!.. now your talking man!... So long as it's not Bali, the Aussies Benidorm!

Lung's birthday is February 05th.

It's yours too isn't it, my fluffy little bunny... Shall we share some cake & drink so much pop that we burp!

[SiamSam]

Yes it is. Are we both left handed also? And I am up for the pop and burping marathon.

[KenW]

how about meeting in Patts, doin' the BM meet & my birthday & then scooting off to Cambo together?

If all goes well & we bond, I'd most definitely be up for an Indonesian trip the following year to!.. now your talking man!... So long as it's not Bali,

Sounds like my cup of tea. As I said, I'd already figured on a PP stay post your birthday.

And Indonesia? Yes. At this stage it's only a vague cloud in the planning area, but no doubt will firm up on time and place over the next few months. No Bali.

[KenW]

You can buy close to anything in a VNese market.

(I even flirted with a shopping LB once and reckon a little spade work and I could have bought her too.)

The other day I bought a live fish.

As many of you know Asian markets often sell live seafood. Fish on the fin.

About the size and pink colouration of a small Australian Eastern Seaboard perch.

This was about nine o'clock in the morning.

At eleven I was being served it by the lady who currently cleans and cooks for me.

(The house was in such a mess after the builders & painters I hired this woman to come in for an hour or two each working morning, just for the next month or so till the house returns to normal.)

I find that reminiscent of my extended family when I was young.

My lineage of coal miners sought joy at weekends in recreational fishing & crabbing.

It was so common to be out in the boat from dawn till say nine, then home for cleaning and preparing, then in auntie's fry pan and eating an early lunch of the freshest fish you ever dreamt about.

Well, in the village it's the same.

These small markets in the village buy from suppliers who are often stationed in a very large wholesale market. So the seafood in particular is shipped up to the city live, in big bins of water. Thence to bins of smaller size at smaller suburban markets. Then to my pan.

Yum.

[KenW]

Lunch.

The other day I wrote about the fish I bought at market. Mostly I eat lunch in that manner, buying materials at market or at my local supermarket (about 15 minutes stroll away from home), cooking them and eating in my dining area.

When I tire of that or am feeling too lazy, I eat out.

What does that mean? Well the village has a stack of lunch eateries, after the fashion of the breakfast places I gave examples of earlier. Lunch for VNese is the day's main meal, and means eating rice.

As we greet each other with pleasantries, so do the VNese. We might inquire: how are you? How are you doing? How are you going? The VNese say: an com chua? [un kerm tchoooa?] It means have you eaten yet? But the literal translation is: eat rice yet?

To eat, for VNese, is to eat rice. If you have eaten but not eaten rice, you have not eaten.

And fulfilling the determinations of 4,000 years in paddy fields and thatched huts, that main rice meal is taken at or around midday. The culture history shows people at work in the fields at 5 or maybe even earlier, 4 am or so if you count the rise, the wash, the donning clothes, gathering up tools and seed, trek to field, etc. So by midday, they have worked a full 8 hour day or very close to it, so are ready for a big break and a main meal.

Lunch is followed always, even by schoolchildren, with what they call nghi trua (the midday rest). By 1:30 or 2pm they are back at work (or school).

Nowadays the city dwelling office workers and all follow this routine. Lunch is the big meal. Kids come home (rarely do they remain at school for lunch) and then rest, before returning. Office and factory workers pour out into the thousands of rice eateries called com binh dan (pronounced kerm bin zun, meaning rice for ordinary folks) shops, where they are sold rice with a choice of accompanying dishes (usually across the range of chicken pork fish green vegetables). They have a buffet food warmer at the front of all these shops where customers call for what they want, seat themselves, then their selections are brought to table by staff.

My closest com binh dan is right opposite my house. I go there about once every 2 weeks. A meal of a plate of rice, some chicken or fish, with green vegetables (always including a vegetable soup) with a glass of iced tea will cost me 15,000 - 17,000 VND, about USD 0.75.

Healthy and filling. If my luck's in I also get to do a bit of perving at the clientele of young whores who staff the local hug coffee shops, eating at an adjacent table.

[KenW]

Now and again I splash out at lunchtime.

I might wander down to the local cafe owned by an English expat & his VNese girlfriend. There I can eat bangers & mash, fish n' chips, a cheesburger with chips, or something along those lines. Expensive, but hey, other than the drink and cock, what have I got to spend my money on.

Or I can stroll off in the opposite direction to the supermarket and climb to their food court level. There, when I undertake this exercise, I usually eat Korean, say a clam & tofu soup with kim chi for sides, served with rice. Not bad, and not too expensive.

Alternatively I can leave the village entirely.

This might entail going over to Chinatown (District 5) for a yum cha. Long haul in a taxi both ways makes this about a once a year event, usually when I have guests and am showing Saigon off to them. But the food at my fave yum cha joint is divine. The place seats hundreds of people and you can rarely hear your own conversations with all the yelling for orders, bills, etc. It's a madhouse, reminding me of the hullabaloo of Broadway Danny Rose's joint.

Or, and this is my first choice, going into the city to eat Indian. We have some excellent subcontinental nosheries in this town, none outrageously pricey. I made a new year's resolution a few years ago, given I adore Indian food so much, to do this every fortnight. But things like builders and some other lifestyle intrusions have eaten into this (shocking pun!) in 2012. However, I went just last week for example, and dined in heaven.

[KenW]

A bit of wank on the side (no, not that kind of wank).

In case some of you are interested in this sort of stuff. It relates to my love of Indian in VN.

The Indians are worthy participants in what is now Vietnam. Archaeological evidence shows Indian traders operating in the south of the peninsula some 2,000 years ago. That's the christian era roughly. Excavations at the site of Oc Eo way down on the Gulf of Thailand side of southern VN show Indian brahmi script from the 1st and 2nd centuries AD.

The Indians were merchants and traders, not conquerors or armies. They brought trade from the Roman Empire and Mediterranean (eg Roman coins from the reigns of Antoninus Pius AD 138 -161 and Marcus Aurelius AD 161 - 180).

Brahmi scripts all the way down to the 5th century show a period of trade lasting hundreds of years up to that time between the locals, whoever they were, the visiting Chinese from the northeast, and Southwest Asia and Southern Europe (Mediterranean).

Oc Eo was apparently known as Suvarnabhumi. The quantity of goods excavated (in the 1940s) exceeds that at any other Southeast Asian archaeological site: gold, diamonds, amethyst, jet, amber, malachite, orpiment, sapphires, rubies, corindon, serpentine, feldspar, antigorite, topaz, beryl, zircon, jadeite, garnet, opal, jasper, onyx, aagate, carnelian and quartz - all used in jewellery, as well as many other materials.

Sivalinga and other subcontinental motifs show the cultural dominance of that part of the world in this.

But who were the locals? We have no idea. This is way before the great Khmer Empire and Angkor Wat. After 800 AD the Khmer rule what is southern VN. But before, blank. No VNese anywhere near here back then. The southernmost of them were still hunkering down in thatched huts along the Red River delta near Hanoi.

The Indians have continued their link with VN, right up to today with a large expat Indian community here, quite a few mosques, and various eateries.

OK, end of wank. Just thought a few of you might like to know about the Indian link in this part of the world near my village.

PS: info details from Charles Higham's Archaeology of Mainland Southeast Asia.

[Kahuna]

I don't suppose that there are any Montagnards in your village...Nor should there be...Moreover, I'm not certain there is a question for you here...Nor should there be...

I am truly enjoying the glimpse into your village KenW...More please Professor...

[KenW]

I don't suppose that there are any Montagnards in your village...Nor should there be...Moreover, I'm not certain there is a question for you here...Nor should there be...

I am truly enjoying the glimpse into your village KenW...More please Professor...

Thank you my friend. More to follow.

Given that I am constructing my suburban village hypothetically as a square area perhaps 3km on a side (why do I think in squares not circles?), I would not know what a census of the place would reveal. I would doubt there are any Montagnards, but hoooo noze?

Every day I see gorgeous Lolitas pedaling to school with hill tribe dark skin and big cock sucking lips, so such locals have to get their genes from somewhere. Many with Indian dark skin too.

My god (if I believed in one) there is such stunning beauty in this place.

[KenW]

Rainy grey morning.

This is the third day on the trot of wet weather. Now, that may sound trivial to those of you from the north, but for hereabouts it's meaningful. And that said against it being the strong part of tropical wet season. It's just that, as all you Asia hands know, wet season here in this part of the world normally involves big thunder storms and downpours, with breaks between them and at least some sunshine every day. But these three days have been grey cloud covered skies and even though there's occasionally been some thunder, mostly just steady streaming rain, as if we were living in Liverpool or Donegal rather than the Mekong Delta.

Intrepid travelers go to work and school despite it all, their plastic rain ponchos dripping wet, keeping them half dry. Markets and street stalls have the big sun umbrellas set up, their poles standing in solid circular cement shoes. Ha, every time I use that expression I can't help laugh at Frank Sinatra. When he discovered Marlon Brando had been fucking Ava Gardner - Sinatra's lustlove at the time - he warned Brando: next time, broken leg; if it happens again, cracked skull; third time, cement shoes. (Brando took the warning seriously.)

I hunker down in my study, shirt covering my pathetic torso as protection against the morning chill. It's dark.

This ambience produced in me a certain horniness, waking to a half dream half fantasy of lining up for sex with a dream-mix of a delightful GG I have been flirting with at my local beer bar lately, and a LB from soi VC who I can't wait to see again. As consciousness forced itself through the fug and as the rain dispersed gentle magic on the tiles above my bedroom, the cock from soi VC won out. Now I want her, desperately.

[pacman]

Ahoy Ken. From one hunkered down body to another... thank you. I also am enjoying your village life.

And I want you to know how much I appreciate the history & cultural lessons you keep supplying us with. Too much information is never enough in my book. And your amusing little tales where your stream of consciousness wanders off down side sois... good stuff, no chance of being bored reading one of your posts.

I am reminded of an incident involving a friend who was shopping somewhere in the US. LA I think. This was many years ago, he's a generation older than I, anyway, he was looking to buy a tie. He was stopped by a big man who told him to leave the section. Being from out of town & not used to such an intervention, he naturally asked why.

"Because Mr Sinatra doesn't like to be bothered while he's shopping". And there standing behind him was Frank. The bodyguard wasn't going to take no for an answer so my friend went to another department while Frank picked out his ties.

Of course we know what happened to Frank when he was in Australia & upset a female journalist. He was on a plane home a day later no doubt fuming over the lack of respect he was shown. The union leader who led the attack on him later became Prime Minister. And a very successful one at that, he won 5 elections from memory.

And Ava? She must have been quite a gal. Not as stunning as Rita Hayworth IMO but more available... if you know what I mean.

And I share your appreciation of Indian food. They have become so popular here in Oz they have overtaken Thai restaurants as the 3rd or 4th most popular cuisine. I go to one place every week for the Goat Masala & Jeera Pulao & whatever else we order. But the goat remains a constant. Most Indian places offer it but at our favourite place, it is sublime. Subtle, aromatic spices with enough chili heat to give it that lovely kick on the tongue.

Sorry for the little diversions of my own, I don't mean to hi-jack your thread. Like Kahuna & others, I look forward to your updates. If I can borrow a line... more please Professor.