duke007

I was in Australia with the girlfriend recently when she was stung on the pussy by a Hornet, so I phoned up the Foster's Lager helpline "Please help me" "hey, whats up man?" "My girlfriend has been stung on her vagina and it has completely closed up" "Bummer Dude" "Thanks mate, bye"

I was shopping in Asda and saw Rolf Harris, I said to him "I remember you doing 2 little boys in the 70's", he replied "Fuck Off, that was Jimmy Saville"

My wife just came down from having bath, she gave me a wink and said "Ive just shaved my pussy and you know what that means" Yeah I said "the fucking plug hole's blocked!"

My wife was complaining that someone had stolen a pair of her panties from the washing line, She's not bothered about the panties, she just wants the 38 pegs back

I was working in Tesco re-arranging boxes of soap powder in aisle 7 when in walks the girl I'd scored with last night. She said "Oi, you told me you were a stunt pilot...you lying bastard!" I replied "No I told you I was part of the Ariel display team!"

Latest in the Oscar Pistorious trial... A witness swears to have seen a sawn off man with a shotgun

I will have plenty of jokes shortly on this thread... please say Yes or No in advance to sick ones because we Brit's do have a "sick" sense of humour that maybe our cousins across the pond wont get

Ok joking aside, who would not love to fuck my new avator?

BB left?...when was that?....lol

Just a question ET, is that you bent over in your avator mate? have a great trip pal

Guitar/ Keta/ Fatty or whatever her name is perhaps?

Seems this Event has hit the Polish press too http://www.eastnews.pl/en/pictures/subject/id/01026182/section/news/bulletinId/19548/page/1/

If only she was in Manchester

Looking forward to reading this thread Randi, thanx for taking it on

Ah so the Swiss falang (I wont say his username) was with Eve before SLBT came on the scene, perhaps my Alzheimers is not as bad as I thought it was, what was the question again?

You are right Tel, so it must have been Jenny then amogo

At least I got Pai right , didnt a Swiss "falang" take Eve out of bar?

So you gonna two-time me Sam?

Family Bar but not sure....Naklua perhaps and is one named Pai? , just guessing here BB

Thank Christ I have never had that problem and just have cocksucking ex girlfriends

Bangkok

Friday Night Sad to say goodbye to BMs ratman, Vasilli, & Chicarito. They wanted Nadia to put on this cap, donated by some northern bloke called Shirley ! Nancy has changed her style - not sure i approve Poppy & Nancy Patricia

Should be a very big Night

I would say that is pretty desperate Sam Im with ciobha on this, I dont envy our American and Canadian cousins one little bit because that is a proper "long haul" in my book so I count my blessings that I can get Flights on the new Emirates A380's on all of my outward and return legs (4 in total) from the UK to the LOS, even in "cattle class" its very spacious & comfortable imho

Phuket and its resident is Jimbo.... easy peasy