ribbitrabbit Posted February 20 Share Posted February 20 It was a ron mak night about a year and a half ago. Rabbit's tenth trip to Bangkok over a relatively short period of four years. For a long time, I had only viewed glimpses of the other sex in the occasional porn or in bars. But over my travels, I knew somewhere amidst the neon lights and chaotic streets of Bangkok existed a world so apparent, yet so unknown, to many - a world where boundaries blurred, identities transformed, and desires whispered in the shadows. It was here that I, a very normal working-class, woman-adoring man found rabbitself entangled in a web of secrecy, temptation, and self-discovery. My job as a financial analyst often brought me to the city on business trips. Each visit was a whirlwind of meetings, deadlines, and late-night ventures into Nana Plaza or Soi Cowboy. Geisha, Spanky's Billboard, Mandarin. You name it, and my buddies and I had nights where we had dropped ungodly sums and drank several bottles each of whatever passes off as whiskey there. However, the novelty was wearing off on every visit -- bar fines only went skyward, lady drinks were quickly a 20-minute interval between dances, ladies got grumpier and generally uninterested, and the whole meaning of pay-to-play was mostly a dream from a better time. One such evening, as I wandered down the packed Sukhumvit soi 11, I stumbled - half drunk; half disappointed after another gogo bummer - upon an absolutely gorgeous sight that would change my perception of sexuality forever. Right outside one of the dimly lit alleyways were two women who looked nothing short of Latino princesses. They looked so captivating, so ethereal, that I couldn't tear his eyes away. She moved with grace and confidence, her long hair cascading down her back, her curves accentuated by the tight-fitting dress she wore. But as I went closer, I felt a sudden pang of confusion and curiosity: Something about her seemed different, otherworldly, yet undeniably alluring. "Kaka," she said, when I asked her name in my mostly-broken Thai. "Nanny," the other said. The encounter was brief but left an indelible mark on my mind. I stumbled back to my room, but the memory of their presence and the way they had ignited a spark of desire was something I couldn't explain. I knew this wasn't right for me. I knew that wasn't who I was. But that entire night, I could only dream of wanting to be with those beauties. I coaxed myself to sleep somehow, knowing the next morning I would wake up, think straight, and laugh it off. The sun cracked hours later - but I never left my dream. The next night I was a man on a mission. A shot of Jim Beam to enter the happy zone, a beer to keep that buzz going. It was around 9 pm, and no sight of those ladies at the spot. So I ventured inside the lane to discover a bar at the very end of it. Cindy's Secrets. A few looked at me like I had forgotten my way, and a few smiled. But there they were inside, those beauties from last night. As I entered the dimly lit room, the air thick with the scent of snooker sweat, booze, whiffs of stray cigarette smoke and my anticipation. The modus operandi was similar to any other bar. Bought the drinks for the girls I like, a self-customary one for the mamasan, and began the night. Soon, 20 minutes passed, and then it was 30. But the girls didn't leave my side. We were enjoying, we were alive, and I - perhaps for the first time - felt fully comfortable around bar ladies. Kaka's eyes were magnetic, while Nanny's touch felt unlike anything I had felt before. It was deliberate yet gentle, firm yet soft, naughty yet carnal. We had drinks, and then some more. Each touch and each interaction with those girls (and others around) awakened a hunger deep I had never known existed. I surrendered to the feelings about two hours later - choosing one of those ladies to share time with upstairs. At first, it all felt new. I had never been this way before. But kisses and more touches turned to liberation. As we hugged - she knew it was my first time - I felt a freedom from the constraints of society's expectations and my own preconceived notions of love and desire. Here, in the arms of a human so different yet so achingly familiar. The sex was raw intensity and lust from both sides. I was topping but pleasure knew no limits. This was the tenderness of a woman but the lust of a man. There could be no turning back from this experience. We had fun. We had more drinks later. No pushing or forcing for more. (In retrospect, I understand I was perhaps very lucky to have such a first time experience. It could have gone absolutely horrible.) Over the next few days, I spent watching the hours go by desperately. Dinner, Jim Beam and beers, and off to the promised land I went. At first, my interactions with the several ladies were purely transactional—mere curiosities to be explored and discarded. But with each encounter, I found himself drawn deeper into their world, seduced by their beauty, charm, and the thrill of the forbidden. Yet, even as I indulged in the desires, a sense of guilt and denial soon crept up. As days turned into weeks, the double life began to take its toll. I struggled to match newfound desires with the expectations of my conservative upbringing and society at large. There was a sense of shame and self-loathing. My friends wondered where I disappeared after a very certain time on our bar hops. Somewhere in the despair, I found this forum. I found people like The Sith, PDogg, Dan Miller and several others - their posts from years ago appearing to me as fellow travelers, so to so speak, on the same journey. I spent an entire Sunday just reading through Sith's Chronicles. Over the next several trips - I soon stopped feeling guilty. I wasn't alone. I explored, I had fun, I went on threesomes and even foursomes. I went back to the occasionally normal bar, but it just didn't cut for me anymore. I've emerged from these several experiences as a changed man - not defined by society's expectations or his own insecurities but by the courage to embrace the true self and sexuality that makes one totally free. For on the other side of fear and denial lay a world of infinite possibilities, where true freedom awaited those brave enough to seek it. I return to the neon lights of Bangkok this weekend after a longish hiatus of over seven months. But I'm not desperate, dreaming, fearful, or anticipating any more. It's my new reality. Back home, I'm still with women and enjoy their company for I know there's another world, another me that's discovered himself and yearns for those moments. It's my little secret. My Otherside. 5 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dan Miller Posted February 20 Share Posted February 20 Oh my dear God !! There are not enough adjectives to describe your way of writing Mr. Ribbitrabbit. I think it's really fantastic, you definitely knock it out of the park I would place you on the same level as Dickens, Rowling, Orwell or Conan Doyle. I truly hope you'll be back soon in the promised land, discover that Otherside to the max and share your adventures with us via the forum. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GeordieG Posted February 20 Share Posted February 20 Kakaaaaaa...... She's a doll, such a unique sweet look! 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ribbitrabbit Posted February 21 Author Share Posted February 21 Thank you, @Dan Miller. Given it was my first post here I wanted to be impactful. Who knows? Might help someone else in their journey. I'm still generally shy but will try to contribute as and when time allows. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ribbitrabbit Posted February 21 Author Share Posted February 21 And, oh, thanks for the kind words. Those are some of my favourite authors. Think Sherlock Holmes was perhaps the first novel I properly read as a child. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rom Posted February 21 Share Posted February 21 Welcome to LBR rabbitx2. Nice prose but any chance of pics ? Surely a player of your sophistication snaps a few as he goes along... 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ribbitrabbit Posted February 29 Author Share Posted February 29 On 2/22/2024 at 1:04 AM, Rom said: Welcome to LBR rabbitx2. Nice prose but any chance of pics ? Surely a player of your sophistication snaps a few as he goes along... Hullo! - haha I don't usually take pictures and often end up with shy ladies. Here's a shot of the beautiful miss laura backside from CIB from this week's punter trip tho - 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dan Miller Posted February 29 Share Posted February 29 1 hour ago, ribbitrabbit said: Hullo! - haha I don't usually take pictures and often end up with shy ladies. Here's a shot of the beautiful miss laura backside from CIB from this week's punter trip tho - Nice catch RR ... beautiful lady! The only photos I regret, are the ones I didn't take Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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