Last night I shoved a grape up my fat wifes huge arse, she let out a little "Wine"
Also last night I ordered a Chinese take-away, the bloke comes to the door and says that will be £20, what I thought you robbing bastard, so I said to him whats the name of Katie Prices disabled son? he says, "Harvey Price" so I gave him £10 and told him to fuck off.
Emerald