KenW

Sam, those 2 are well known to old farts like me.

Here's another one for old farts that many mainstreamers won't have heard of:

Tom Waits.

Wait a minute!!!

HubbaBubba and Bubba?

Hmmmmmm, are you guys related?

They are Sam, and they've got another brother named Toiluntrubba.

Welcome for Mica forMica

Being as many of us are having second or third goes, I thought I'd add a couple more to my list as well.

But I still can't download those damned boxes. Makes me recall those actual boxes we saw as kids where when the lid was lifted a toy ballerina twirled about and some godawful schmaltzy tune played.

Anyhow, my additions are:

Trish Hayward (Australian mezzo soprano, the greatest classically trained female singer I have ever heard)

June Carter (known to some of you as Johnnie Cash's wife)

Time I told you about a foursome I had in VN. My very first sex event in the country.

1994. I had been in Saigon two or three days, I forget.

Timeline of importance.

1975 the war is won and lost. The communists control the country.

For the next decade they Stalinise it, collectivise it and generally fuck it up totally.

People in the south are kicked out of their houses, their jobs, many put in prison (re-education camps).

The takeovers trashed everything they could make money from and everything they couldn't.

It was carpetbaggers unlimited.

The place becomes a basket case.

1985 they realise they have to do something drastic. They can't feed their own people.

1986 they start a program called doi moi (renovation)

which basically means opening it up to market economies, allowing private enterprise, private re-ownership of farms, etcetera, more sense it were.

And allowing foreigners in.

1994 Ken begins his first big stint in country.

Now, in these first days the place was crawling with prostitutes and pickpockets, beggars and thieves. It was the Wild West. (or in Eurocentric terms is that The Wild Far East?).

I stayed at a great place they had trashed: the Dong Khoi Hotel in the main drag, Dong Khoi St.

This was an old French architecture place, with unbelievable huge suites, that had paint peeling, all fittings beyond the bare necessities like bare globes in the light sockets had been pilfered, there was no glass in any window, but amazingly there was hot water and the doors were lockable.

My room on the second floor had a parlour cum lounge the size of two normal hotel rooms (but bare apart from a couple of chairs and a table), which gave via a short hallway which had on one side the bathroom toilet and on the other a walkin clothes cupboard, to a bedroom, large and roomy with a genuine four poster bed (amazingly hadn't been lifted by the pilferers), and a huge open window to the drag that let bats in (they roosted in my bedroom). Ten USD per night. (Now, as i write, long refurbished and known as The Grand, these rooms rent for about 300 USD).

So here I am.

I spot LBs.

In those days whores were everywhere. I recall trying to walk - albeit drunk - from a bar across the road to my hotel, 11 o'clock at night, and taking something like 15 minutes to push through the crowd of hookers and possible clients milling on the footpath. Sir, you want girl? Sir, you go with me? (They all knew the necessary minimal English). Watch your pockets.

So next evening after dinner I left in my room all valuables, even my watch. I put 3 X 10 USD notes in one pocket of my trousers, and ten or so condoms in the other. I went down to the street and waited. A security guy sat and watched from the front door of the hotel (no doubt it's the second entry on the thick and burgeoning file they have on me).

Two women pull up on a putt putting motorbike. Older lady and young gorgeous thing. Do I want girl? No.

Two boys pull up. Do I want boy? No.

A LB pulls up. Yes. How much. Ten dollar.

We cruise around familiar streets, then unfamiliar ones. She is suddenly shouting and I see parallel to us another cycle with 2 more LBs aboard. We head into unknown territory and I wonder if I'll make it out alive. We end up at a godforsaken place, dark (power not a big priority in SG of those days), diminutive steps up several flights, bumping my head, tripping over small steps, till we come to an ill-lit room set out with tables each with two chairs at them. I make out through the gloom, ten or so couples, men and girls, at tables, drinking, possibly eating, canoodling. The LBs go beserk, back and forth, yelling, making such a scene, people pay bills, get up and leave. After 10 minutes during which I am mortified, we have the place to ourselves. I am told to sit.

One LB goes straight for my fly and begins to suck my cock. The second says I have to give each LB ten dollar. (Lucky fate told me to bring 3 x 10 buck notes). She is in my pocket. I take out the 30 bucks and laughing say, see, here's the 10 dollar for each of you. Then she's in my left, and takes out the condoms, looking vastly disappointed. I laugh again, and say, you can have all of them.

The third LB slaps my thighs and shouts in a voice they could have heard in Chinatown: you alright? You alright? You alright?

I blow and the sucker rushes to the wall and spits my cum on the floor. I am offended.

When she returns I take her cock out of her pants (she resists strongly, but I win out). I give it a suck, and then because I don't know what the other two are doing, I quit and suggest we go. I don't know who paid the bill, if anyone, because I had no more money. Again I wonder will I be found battered and bleeding in some gutter tomorrow morning.

Amazingly, the one who first picked me up - who yelled at me while patting my thigh - takes me back to the hotel, right there, and drops me off.

A foursome of sorts, but more like the 3 Stooges + 1 (sorry Larry), or maybe Groucho, Harpo, Chico & Gaspatcho, than any porno moresome you have seen on vid or can imagine. My first VNese sex experience.

New Chum lurker here. This site referred to me by a friend. Hope its an improvement on some of the other sites. I guess it will only be as good as the posters make it huh?

As a furtive LB fancier, any lurid posts by me will be hard to come by. But, the way I am thinking these days, in my dotage, it could yet happen.

:rolleyes:

Glad you made it bubba. Welcome aboard mate.

This is a much more friendly site than the one we were on before.

I don't have the techno-pop skills to download these song boxes you all include.

So I'll have to stick to old fashioned naming.

Can't pick a one favourite. Impossible.

Try this for a long short list:

Chrissie Hynde

Debbie Harry

Astrud Gilberto

Annie Lennox

Melanie

Joan Baez

Aretha

Ella

Ruth Brown

Billy Holliday

Toni Braxton

Michelle Shocked

I could go on ...

I remember when I first heard the term oral sex, I didn't know what it meant so I asked my older cousin who was kind of my hero growing up. He told me oral sex was the opposite of written sex. Oral sex was talking about it and written sex was reading about it. A week or so later I went to a friend's birthday party. When I came home, my mom asked me how the party went. I said, it was ok mom, mostly just everyone hanging around having oral sex. She flipped out and I didn't learn till later why she did.

+1 from me Lefty before they hand it over to a committee.

ello, ello, ello, I'm the famous Eccles. Ask me a question.

What's ya name?

Orr, startun with the hard ones eh?

Correct & correct PD. +1 for you.

Here's another:

He's not the Messiah, he's just a very naughty boy.

Let me go boys

Let me go boys

Let me go down in the mud

Where the rivers all run dry...

Happy Paddy's to everybody

May all ya tools be to yor likun for da job at hand

MGM!

Here's another for junior high school film class, way too easy now:

I love the smell of napalm in the morning.

Nobody's perfect.

Here's lookun at you kid.

A comeback that is now far far too easy:

Sampan off the port bow.

"You're an errand boy, sent by grocery clerks, to collect a bill."

Marlon Brando as Col.Kurtz to Capt Willard (Martin Sheen) in Apocalypse Now. Give me +1 or equivalent.

More snippets from the dark side:

A decade ago I was doing another consultancy for another visiting Australian professional group. On a night off after dinner I ended up for reasons I have long forgotten with two blokes (both 40s, married hetero) looking for beers. We were walking through the downtown area of Saigon, on one of the big drags where at that time there was a quite interesting gay & LB bar. (Millennium crackdowns have seen the end of bars like this one.)

O, here's a bar, says one of our lads. (It was up a flight of stairs so no-one could tell what kind of bar it was from street level.)

Ah, I replied, knowing how they'd react, I think there's some good drinkeries just up ahead a bit.

Nah, says my new pal, less go in.

One ordered 3 beers, but before they could even be set upon the bar towel, he snarls to his mate: thisuz a fucking poofter bar. (It was wall to wall gay boys and LBs, some smiling at us, one winking at one of these guys.)

We had to bolt our beers and hastily make a retreat. (I could imagine them both thinking: whew, lucky to get out of there alive!) They could not take it.

The straight world can be so humorous at times.

A mate of mine had a job to do in Hanoi, the capital (also about a decade ago). One night he met up with a soliciting LB who said she'd go with him for USD10. OK, he reckons.

She takes him to a sleazy little bar, where there's nobody else except some large VNese lads who want USD 50 to let him anywhere near her. He objects and the long & the short of their haggles is that an hour later, during which time the only hint of physical contact much less sex was what might befall him if he chose not to pay, he escapes from the bar with his life after handing over USD 200.

I return to my hotel after a social evening concerned with yet another professional trip. This is circa 1996 or so. I am with a female colleague. We are in the same hotel, but single rooms, all very professional and straight. As we arrive back at the hotel there is a kerfuffle with a small crowd gathered round to witness the shouting match. A continental European chap and a LB going at it. He is waving his wallet around - I gather it's empty. She is pointing to a big rip in her dress.

I hear snippets and garner from crowd members, he has brought her (not so much her) back to the hotel, taken her (not her) up to his room, gone to have sex and found that in her (not her) panties she (not she) has something extra he hadn't counted on. Amid the rejections and protests she has gone for his wallet and he has torn her outfit.

As it calms a little I offer the LB a turn in my room, but she is seething still and merely interested in getting a xichlo (pedicab) and getting out of there.

For those having any thoughts about travelling to Vietnam in quest of a good and rewarding LB experience, my advice is as follows:

Go online and book a fare to Manila; then when the next chance crops up: Rio; after that go to Phnom Penh.

Aint no Vietnamese ever called me nigger.

Somewhere around the millennium, 2000 or 2001 it must have been, I had cause to be part of a Ministerial delegation coming from Australia to try to set up business links with Vietnam. The Minister, his wife, several bureaucrats, then a dozen or so businessmen. It was a very straight trip (only four nights) of intense meetings, negotiation, wheeling & dealing. Early till late every day. The party hit the hay when business finished, to be ready for another trying day on the morrow.

One night we stayed at the 5 star Caravelle Hotel in downtown Saigon, where I live - VN's largest city and commercial metropolis. As the crowd trooped off to saunas, massages and bed in the 5 star, a diplomat who was accompanying the party asked quietly if I would like to go for a walk. I knew this guy, a nice enough chap, early 40s, extremely straight, married with kids. Had been posted in several countries and was not unfamiliar with cross cultural situations. But wanted to see - albeit briefly - some street VN. I suggested a walk around a big city block which would give him a feel for the CBD at night (it was about 10 p.m.). He agreed.

I mapped a simple route, to take about 40 minutes of leisurely stroll. First three parts of the rectangle of streets negotiated without drama. Then on final leg, about 50 metres from the hotel, we come across a LB soliciting on the footpath. Tall, attractive, but obvious. However, I do not know to this day if this guy twigged to what she was.

Methinks: o shit.

I made to keep walking, trying to pretend I was not taking any notice. But she grabs him, and waffles: hello daaaarling.

Hand on his shoulder, holding his other hand in hers. I stop about 2 metres away.

Then she does what all such LBs did at that time: went straight for his wallet. As I called his name, he grabbed at his hip pocket and luckily beat her there. She backed off.

As we walked on his face was steaming red, his fists clenched. He cursed and cursed (without swearing), but said nothing more to me. Upon attaining the foyer he went straight up to bed, and never ever mentioned the incident to me again. I guess I was guide non grata.

One night last trip at Blue Chili I met a Vietnamese guy from Nha Trang, a lovely resort town up the coast. He was as shocked to find out I lived in VN as I was to find out he was VNese. He was about 40, told me he ran his own business, and managed to take a week off every 2 months to come to PP. He had a list of boys of his phone but liked to hang out occasionally at BC to see what's new. Also told me he didn't go for femboys (seeing them draped over me) but he liked bigger stronger manly boys. Each to their own.

What was good and important news was he insisted he never paid more than 15 bucks to take one back to the hotel. Most I should pay, he assured me, was 20, and try always for 15.

Today there's also lots of talk from more restrained commentators saying that nuclear thing is bullshit and a beatup. That the focus should be on the 10,000 or so folks missing under sludge, rubble, etc.

I was also shocked to encounter some Russian rudeness on my most recent visit to Pattaya (November 2010). Laying in my hotel room I got to thinking about why, and of course don't know, but was intrigued by the parallel between the obvious Vulgar Boatmen presence there and in a high price luxury beach resort in Vietnam called Mui Ne. In the latter there are about 10 Russians to every 6 Vietnamese, and every 1 or 2 of every other nationality. It is open gossip knowledge that the Russian mafia run Mui Ne, apparently with the nods & winks from VNese authorities (who would all have their greasey snouts in the ruble trough).

But only once has the scene involved a LB

Correction.

My addled brain. Apologies for misleading. When I wrote the above post earlier today for some reason my synapses were firing Thailand/Pattaya, for which the above is true.

But I have had some scenes in Vietnam where I live, and I will write about some of them in the LBs in Vietnam thread from the A List, in due course.