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  1. I just did it... I took the first step of a trip that may or may not happen. And if it does happen, I don’t know where it will take me. I don't mean locationwise: The ticketed destination is THAILAND ! I mean where will it take me selfwise? When I get there, will I be who I think I am? What “I just did” was buy a BKK airfare for December one month from now. Cheap-cheap. Fully-refundable. Changes allowed. I am not even sure I can or want to travel on the dates I booked, but if I just waited and waited it might not happen. Somehow, my drive to launch new undertakings is not what it used to be… Accordingly, nor is my drive to launch megalomaniac, painstakingly-crafted TRs (like the ones they extirpated me at PY) and this one may or may not continue or be whole even if I do travel. Not sure anyone here is that much interested in a TR from me, let alone a TR from me from the perspective of a monger in a mongering existential crisis, but doing the TR will help me collect my thoughts and better prepare for and conduct my trip. If you are interested all the better. If not, don’t read here or please keep disparaging thoughts to yourself, as this ain’t PY and I can nip threadfuckers in the bud. Having said that, I welcome and ask for candid criticism from BMs who can express it empathically… especially from those BMs who may have experienced the kind of aging monger angst I seem to be going through. After almost 2 years away from SE Asia, I would rather the return trip be to my favorite hangout the Philippines, but the covid entry restrictions there are still overwhelming. Thailand will have to do and this could be my longest trip there ever. Since the ticket I just bought allows changes without penalty I can stay there a week or I can stay a month. It could also be my last trip there ever. But it’s too early to think like that. To end this OP, I’d like to clarify why I chose to call the TR “Rompocalypse Now”. It’s obviously a wordplay on the 1979 classic “Apocalypse Now” that I thought was a fitting wordplay because at PY I once was compared to Coronel Kurtz (the rogue US Army officer portrayed by Marlon Brando) because of my entourage of AC ladyboys and GGs following me 24-7 and catering to my kinks with cultlike devotion. Of course I relished the comparison and would love to go back to the PI and find myself CoronelKurtzing again. But on this coming trip I may find instead that I am Captain Willard: the other off-the-tracks white guy (Martin Sheen) co-star of Apocalyse Now who kills Coronel Kurtz in the end… What will it be? I have to go up river to find out... Rom
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