snoopdawg

EPILOGUE Jane continued to message me pretty much daily for 3+ weeks but that has dwindled slightly to about twice a week. At first I tried to ignore her hoping she’d take the hint but if I don’t reply on WhatsApp she tries Facebook Messenger and even Instagram, then reaching out to Mr Suave. Ignoring her is like ignoring a puppy. I’ve told her I have no plans to return to Philippines, certainly not in October but she seems to hold out hope that I will not only return but will want to spend time with her again which makes me a little sad for her as I don’t feel the same way. When she asked me for money I felt I had to make it clear that I’m not her boyfriend or sponsor. She took offense and blocked me on WhatsApp and deleted me her Facebook friends for around 48 hours before resuming contact. I don't mind chatting but I don't want to encourage her, and we have little to chat about - I'm hardly going to ask her how work is - but she does become enthusiastic if I ask about her pigs. Talking of which she insists of calling me Babe, as the pig is now called S----, I am not sure she appreciated the irony of this (refer to below image if you also don't) so when I pointed it out she thought it was hilarious so instead of getting back ownership of my name she now refers to me as Piggy Babe. I’ve not been happy with the Short Time nature of mongering recently but this Girl Friend Experience leaves me with a different feeling of discontent. Is it actually crueller to be nice? A question I have been asking myself long before it was posed to me here - I can think back to my adventures with Nok Yung over a decade ago. I came to the conclusion that it's about intent; I cannot control how others react to me only how I behave. I try my best to be open and honest with my ladyboys from the start, making no false promises and compensating them fairly at the end of our time together to keep things on a transactional level. It still doesn't make me feel much better when they are in tears but it is what it is. Thank you to Mr Suave for suggesting this road trip, it was quite special. I hope he can forgive my impatience, and through this TR is able to recognise that my impatient extends to all mankind and was never anything personal. Afterall someone who gets grumpy at being asked for kisses and cuddles from a very nice and affectionate beki clearly has serious issues.

Actually I have posted here first, though I will post on LBP once I've concluded here. I committed to posting everyday (albeit with a break when I was abroad with work) and some days it is more challenging to find the time than others. Epilogue to come...

Wednesday 7th May 2025 (Day 21) So it's 2am. Angela has just left with ₱1000 taxi money that I gave her. She wasn't expecting money but accepted it with only a little encouragement. I go to the 7-eleven adjacent and buy the 2 remaining bottles of GSM Premium and repack my bags before checking out and getting my ₱2000 deposit back. I call a Grab and it's just ₱250 to the airport but I give him ₱300. Check-in then crash out for an hour's sleep in the departure lounge. It's an unusual situation for me that I finish my night and instead of going to bed I go to the airport still drunk and dehydrated. Usually I get a couple of hours sleep at least.

PART 4 – MANILA (SOLO) Tuesday 6th May 2025 (Day 20) Jane has gone now. We are on different flights four hours apart so there was little sense in going to the airport together. We were up at 5:00 and her minivan arrived 20 minutes later so at least there wasn't time for a long protracted goodbye for which I’m thankful. There were some tears from her, and part of me wishes I could feel so strongly also. The truth is after 3 weeks together the room does seem empty without her and the rain outside seems a manifestation of the mood. During the last few days she kept talking of her plans for next time I will visit, even though I told her I had no plans to return to Philippines. With the money I gave her the afternoon before she excitedly told me she will buy two more pigs and name the boy pig after me. I have no children of my own so perhaps this is the next best thing. She asks me to remember her, and I do. My fondest memory is chasing her around the hotel room in Siargao trying to tickle her as she screams and laughs. I'm hit for a bill for ₱425 upon check out. I know Jane bought some shampoo and conditioner but there's also corned beef on the bill. I pay it but I'm confused at the bill. The van picks me up on time. There's 2 Italian girls concerned about making their 10am flight. Apparently they were due to fly last night and the fight was cancelled due to rain which means they missed their fight home and had to rebook. We get to the airport for 9:15 and I'm checked in before 09:30. Got to assume the girls made their fight. The flight is a little late taking off but otherwise uneventful. When I land I received an email hinting my luggage is going to be on a later flight. This is confirmed when I speak to a member of staff but I'm assured it will arrive tonight around 19:30. I get a taxi to my hotel on P Burgos Street in Makati. The taxi is more expensive than I expected; ₱550 on the meter plus ₱45 toll – I subsequently learn that the policy has changed at the airport and only the more expensive blue taxis are allowed in. I check in at Royal Bellagio Hotel and they ask for ₱2000 deposit which is the only time this trip I’ve been asked and it was quite a large amount in my opinion. I also find it frustrating to known that I will get a large amount local currency I have little chance to spend before departing. I go for a short walk before returning to Filling Station, which is right next door to my hotel, for a burger and shake. The filling station is an homage to those diners of the 50’s and is pack full of memorabilia much of it dating back to the 50’s and 60’s when my wingman would have been a teen so I'm sure would have felt very much at home here. It was very filling (no pun intended) so I went next door to my room to sleep it off. I keep checking Grindr and ignoring PinaLove but my thoughts are distracted by my lack of luggage. At 19:30 I try contacting them and they eventually reply at 20:10 saying the luggage is at Manila waiting for their courier. 21:45 my luggage still has not arrived! I send them an email asking for an eta and expressing my anger. After a couple of Gin & Tonics sat on the veranda at Cubana overlooking the street I decide to grab some drinks from the 7-Eleven and go up to my room to continue my hunting online. I find a can of G&T (brand name) Lemon and Ginger (9%) for ₱70 so I buy a couple of cans. The ladyboy I had hoped to meet and whom I suspected was going to let me down did so. However I found a substitute who claimed to have a big cock. She arrived at 00:45 and because my luggage has still not turned up I go buy condoms from the 7-Eleven. Angela was definitely the same girl from the photos but about 10 years older, chubbier and not as pretty. Her cock was also smaller than stated but she did have big tits. About 10 minutes after she arrived, whilst I was just getting cleaned up but not before I’d been to the 7-Eleven to get some condoms, my luggage arrived. There's was just enough time for an unrushed and enjoyable session before I had to leave for the airport.

Chicken breast, chick wing, pork belly etc. Nothing unusual but a very tasty sauce.

Monday 5th May 2025 (Day 19) My alarm goes wakes us at 07:00. I ask Jane if see wants more sleep and she does so I set it for 08:00. When the alarm goes off for the second time we decide not to go Sugba, it's 45 minutes bike ride each way to Del Carmen and I'm not certain how quick and easy it is to hire a boat to Sugba Lagoon when we arrive even though I had found some advice online. Instead we have the morning in the beach garden then go to Kurvada (of course) for lunch. I leave the 2 paperbacks I've read at SBooks to Jane's amazement and confusion. After reading a pretty decent guide to Siargao on my phone I decide we should go to Beto Cold Springs for the afternoon. It offers some of the experience of Sugba Lagoon without the travel. When we arrive we rent a kayak for a ride along the river and turn back when Jane starts to get scared which turns out to be about the right distance for the overall journey. Then we have a few goes on the swing into the cold spring – Jane is having great fun and I’m feeling quite affectionate towards her once again. We finish the stay there with a jump off the platform whilst holding hands. I leave the choice of restaurant to Jane and she wants to go for barbecue again – this is the third time in the 7 days we were on the Island, and 3 of the last 4 nights but at least it is good food. After we’ve eaten we come back to room to chill out; the plan is to go out for a couple of drinks in an hour or two but we fall asleep and when I do wake around 9pm it is raining heavily so I go back to sleep. At least this way I avoid all the tears and drama that I had anticipated of our final night together.

Sunday 4th May 2025 (Day 18) Woke early after a good night's sleep. Had some mango and pastries for breakfast that we’d bought the night before. Jane wanted to go to Church and I wanted to go to the market in the morning to find some Sayongsong (once again without luck), so we headed out on our scooter. We stopped to buy some oranges on the way back; at ₱20 each they are the same price as back home. Seems mad when compared to cost of BBQ the night before which was just ₱600 for a meal for 2. Back to the hotel to chill on the hotel beach garden. From my time driving around the Philippines these past few weeks I've come to the conclusion that when the Filipinos deign to use indicators it is to deceive not inform – I won't miss driving around here. Kurvada for lunch again at Jane's request – given a choice (which she was) I think she’d eat here every day, every meal. Its cheap, easy and tasty so can't complain though for lunch. We go straight to Doot aka Secret Beach from there. We stay about an hour as I'm not impressed; there’s not much of a beach and nowhere really to swim. I’ve given Jane a pair of Panasonic headphones I stole from Business Class on a recent flight so I don’t have to listen to any more of the Miss Universe clips she watching on repeat and she’s delighted with them! It's a win for both of us. Gelato at Halika on the way back; this time I try Dute Cheese & Siargao flavours as they are the remaining 2 of the 3 most popular flavours that I had yet to try. Unfortunately they’ve run out of cones so we have to have them in a cup. Back to the hotel and chill out in the garden reading my book. I'm getting tired of the company and ready for home, or at least to part ways. If Jane isn’t wanting sex she’s demanding cuddles and kisses and it’s driving this grumpy old man crazy! Don't think I'll be back to PH. In the evening we go to the over-rated sunset bridge again; Halika have a mobile cart there as well as the main shop. We share a portion of churros in a chocolate sauce and Jane get’s excited about meeting another Vlogger, known as Island Barbie. When the sun had set we went for Mexican Fusion at Isla Comida. I had planned to go to Zicatela for dinner but it appears to have closed down and this was just around the corner. It was tasty enough but the ambience was more like a fast food joint rather than a restaurant. Back to the room for a snooze; I get 1 hour before Jane starts putting the lights on; asking if I'm asleep; noisily eating pork scratching; and jumping up and down on me. I give up sleeping and we get dressed to go out. We go to Strum again; I like it there, the place has got character and because we are out early (as we have no intention of staying out all night) we are able to get one of the few seats. Jane wants to look at SBC again but I feel too tired and I don’t particularly like the place. We stay at Strum for a couple of hours; Jane had two San Miguel Apple (she's drunk after the first) and I have 1 (local) Gin & Sprite at ₱100 and 2 G&T at ₱160 each. By the time we leave, maybe 22:25 not sure exactly, it's gone beyond standing room only and the patrons are stood outside not only the hard shoulder but also the road itself. There's a club night at Happiness, the resort next to ours – club nights are at a different location each night of the week. Jane wants to go so I give her ₱500 and tell her to have fun whilst I go to sleep. Ironically I’m feeling the horniest I’ve felt all week with the nice buzz from those G&T and I’m in going to bed alone. Jane wakes me at 01:30 to ask if it's okay to stay out with some friends she’s made from her home town. I go back to sleep and she goes out again. Eventually she arrives back at 04:30; noisy, lights on, kettle boiling, eating a pot noodle, retching, etc before eventually going to sleep telling me to wake her in the morning to go to Sugba Lagoon.

That's a great way to describe it, and to be honest I don't think I have found a way to deal with it. When I'm not working I keep busy; box sets, reading, mountain biking, cinema going, seeing live bands or standup comedy all fill the time but don't sate the hunger and I find myself endlessly scrolling Facebook, Instagram, Grindr, ThaiFriendly, Twitter etc. until my time in purgatory temporarily comes to an end and my next holiday begins.

Saturday 3rd May 2025 (Day 17) Up at 6:30 for the 7am pickup. Jeepney to Dapa port, boat to Socorro Port where we sign in then have a 45 minute wait until another boat takes us to Sohoton where we are split into 3 smaller boats of 6 apiece. The weather remains pleasant all morning for our boat rides, swimming with Jelly fish and exploring submerged caves. Once again I was using the Go-pro for shots in the water so got more videos than photos. Just as we got to the destination for our boodle fight lunch it started to rain heavily and it lasted much of the afternoon. By luck we were at the back left of the final boat to Dapa so remained sheltered whereas those upfront and on the right side were subject to Poseidon’s Bukaki party. Still we didn't really dry off properly until back at the hotel where had switched rooms as I had a split booking – a bigger room with a better shower room though not as romantic. All the rain made me feel homesick and or nostalgic for those summer holidays of my youth. Decided to go to Bebie’s Barbeque again – circa ₱600 for the two of us. They were out of BBQ pork but said it's would be 50 minute wait. I asked 3 times if they could bring the rest of the order straight away and the pork when it was available but in typical SE Asian customer service the bitch ignored me and we had to wait an hour for our meal to arrive. After that back to the room and asleep by 9pm; after 3 weeks of travel I’m really starting to feel in need of an holiday and Jane was being annoying by wanting to cuddle all evening.

Of course; the time in Segada was particularly special though as someone who is used to living alone having company 24x7 was taxing.

Friday 2nd May 2025 (Day 16) Woke as it started to get light and had to put up with cuddles from Jane as she was cold. The AC was set to 22 so I increased it to 24. Got up just before 8am and had fresh mango for breakfast. Planned to got to Cloud 9 early but rain showers were forecast until 10am and it did indeed rain heavily not long after we'd eaten. So at 10am we scootered up to Cloud 9. I wasn't sure what to expect exactly. Maybe a bit more in way of amenities / shops. Instead there was a long wooden boardwalk or pier that we walked to the end of. After a while there we walked along the beach and it rained heavily for a few minutes. I decided to hire a surf board for 1 hour / ₱200 as it would not matter if it rained. I left Jane to look after our things and eat ice-cream and mango shakes. I remembered the surfing basics from 30 years ago but wasn't very successful at catching waves. There's an awful lot of waiting involved and I was perhaps too eager. I think I caught 3 or 4 waves before I got bored and only managed to stand up for a couple of seconds before falling off. If I'm honest I enjoyed the surfer lifestyle back in the day much more than the actual surfing itself but at least the water was warm, the same cannot be said for Cornwall. For lunch we went to Kurvada again. You order prepared food from that on display then take a photo to show when you have to pay. We had a drive around town after lunch but found nothing of interest. Return to the room; I sat in the beach garden reading then dozing until it started to rain then spent the rest of the afternoon reading in the room. Three days left and two forecast for weather like today. Decided to roll the dice and book the Sohoton Cove tour for tomorrow at ₱2700 pp; and hopefully DIY to Sugba Lagoon on Monday when the weather is forecast as dry. For dinner I suggest pizza or BBQ and Jane chooses the latter. We drive by Mama Grill which I had as a recommendation but it does not look worthwhile so we continue to the centre and stop at Bebie’s Barbeque instead for some grilled chicken and pork.

This time I wrote up my notes and prepared the images before starting my trip report so I could quickly post an update each day. However I still find myself adding to what i wrote and making changes. With work and other things it can be difficult to find the time to sit down at my home computer and post each day. Thank you. I try to be nice but I guess in my heart I'm a bit of a bastard at times. When I came to writing my trip report I wanted to be honest with myself but tried to do so with some humour to take the edge of what I post.

Thursday 1st May 2025 (Day 15) Woke up at 7am to do the Tri Island Tour I'd booked the night before at a cost of ₱1500 pp. We were picked up by trike and after another pickup (squeezing 5 people on a trike) we're taken to General Luna Port. A bit more waiting and we're on our way, about a dozen of us on a boat. The third* is as expected. *[not sure what this is supposed to say maybe “trip”, “tour” or “journey” spring to mind] An hour on Guyam Island just flies by after a photo-shoot and a short swim; no time to relax but not much space to either with all the other tourists. I'd hired snorkel masks and snorkel at ₱200 pp which we used for 30 minutes of snorkelling at the coral garden which is enough time for snorkelling as far as I’m concerned. My inability to swim underwater for more than about 20 seconds prevented me from getting more video of anything that wasn't immediately below the surface. I’d still got a bit of a cold and my sinus really hurt if I tried to dive deeper. I’d borrowed a Go-pro from a friend again which is great for underwater video if you’ve got the skills to swim and video at the same time, but I didn’t get any photos. Screen grabs taken from the videos I’d recorded. Naked Island was pretty but too hot in the direct sun so after a look around at what is essentially an empty beach in the middle of the ocean I went back to the shelter of the boat. Lunch was a “boodle fight” at Daku Island, decent fare though I made sure I wasn’t shy about being first to grab a plate. Plenty enough time for a swim after in fact more than enough as we were 30+ minutes later departing than advised. Then a 30 minutes stop at the sand bar that was submersed about half a meter below the surface allowing us to paddle and spot numerous starfish. Concerned about getting sun burnt I put on my shirt. Back to port and then trike’d back to the hotel. A quick shower and then out for ice-cream (actually Gelato which is different according to the signs) at the highly recommended Halika Siargao. We felt it was a little early to got to Sunset Bridge so had a short stop at the hotel. Surprised that after the sun went down much of the food, namely the mango, had already sold out. Back to the hotel for leftovers, sex and sleep. About 45 minutes after dozing off Jane woke up crying; and instead of empathy I just hoped she'd finish soon so I could go to sleep but instead of saying this outloud I held her until she fell asleep again.

It was very much a non-mongering destination. I think I saw a handful of Beki's in the distance when driving around General Luna but could be wrong. Out of interest I had a look at PinaLove and only found 6 (not including the one I brought along) in the greater Dapa area. Which was why it was important for me to find someone to bring along with me and keep her enthusiastic about the holiday.

Wednesday 30th April 2025 (Day 14) Totally forgot to write notes for this day until Friday. After breakfast at a place with poor service though ok food we eventually started our DIY tour at 11am. Essentially the ₱1800 pp land tour without Sugba Lagoon which we'll do another day. We stop at Coconut View to take a photo and where we buy Jane a pair on sunglasses. There are a bunch of locals offering a “human drone” video, which is basically a guy holding your phone or camera and moving around to create a drone affect. We decline this gimmick. We continue our bike ride to the nearby Maasin river where it’s ₱600 for hire of the boat & guide then tips for photos at the little lagoon. Somehow I end up playing Mr Suave through my Bluetooth speaker and our guide sings along with Jane and I joining in on the “Hoy! Hoy! Hoys!”. Poor phone service hampered the use of Google Maps but we still made it to Magpupungko Rock Pools for low tide. I had checked the tides online before setting off and planned accordingly. It kind of reminds me of my summer holidays on Hayle Beach in Cornwall as a kid where we would swim and play in the rockpools, but a lot busier here! We took some photos & videos and had a swim but did not stick around long. A long motorbike ride back during which were caught in a shower, with only an impromptu stop at Paghungawan Marsh. We got cleaned up and went out for Spanish dinner at Bravo Restaurant. Jane took a look at the menu noting the high prices but I explained to her it's nice to eat out somewhere a special on occasion. She was a bit reticent to order as she was unfamiliar with the dishes so I ordered too much food but got the rest to take out. Was able to pay with my Starling card. Back to the hotel, boom boom then sleep.

Don't worry about it. I simply thought your supposition was inaccurate so took the opportunity to provide more insight about Jane. My decision about what and how I post is not a condemnation of your TR or anyone elses. Let's move on...

PART 3 - SIARGAO Tuesday 29th April 2025 (Day 13) Even though I woke at 6am as it started to get light it was still a struggle to get out of bed when my alarm went off at 7am. I had booked Prime Asia hotel because I had really enjoyed my stay here last trip and eating at their restaurant so decided to stay here for the one night before leaving town to our next destination. It has a rooftop pool and I intended to use it if only for an hour. After I’d had a swim we got packed up and called a Grab, ₱388 to the airport arriving in good time. The flight seemed to go fast; I finished my book and must have dozed longer than I thought. A cute femboy, short haired but pretty face made-up like a girl, was awaiting with a smile to greet my arrival. It was almost a shame I was not alone. Straight on to a waiting minivan ₱300. The airport is tiny and there did not seem to be much choice in travel to General Luna. Sods law we were the last to be dropped off so it took the full hour arriving at Jonas & Twins Resort around 3pm. Checked in and asked to hire a motorbike but one of the staff had borrowed it to go to the market so we had a 30 minutes cat nap. Grabbed “Filipino food” at Kurvada though I had chilli and teriyaki chicken. All the food is precooked and on display, you select what you want and take a photo which you show when you go to pay. Because the place is so popular the food is never stood for long. Afterwards we drove to Catanyan Bridge or Sunset Bridge as it is often referred to, and I was a little underwhelmed by just a score of street-food stalls. Jane is excited though because she meets, and gets her photo taken with, some Vloggers who you’d think were TV celebrities by the fuss! Neney Wander Siargao below. Anna Rose Autor and Jane above. We returned to the room and slept until gone 21:30. Got up and scootered down to Strum for live music, tacos and San Miguel. Everyone else is half my age except one couple who seem to be with their 20 year old children so not sure they count. Jane is keen to go to Siargao Beach Club for the foam party so I agree to check it out. It reminds me of the type of place I would have gone 20 years ago in Aiya Napa or Ibiza and l wasn't really into it back then. We stay for one drink because I'm tired and the SM Apple is only the beer I dislike the least. We get back to the room to find the water is off so no boom boom.

Great reference! We do live in an era of post-truth so probably even truer today.

I think that is a over simplified conclusion to draw based on nothing but a small age gap and contrary to all other evidence. One of the things that first attracted me to Jane was her natural beauty; I could tell that she was not wearing much make-up just enough to enhance her good looks (and hide some blemishes) so I knew that she would look pretty much the same in the morning which is an important consideration for me when taking someone Long Time. At one point during the trip she told me that she was not intending to get any surgery / implants as she was "happy with how god made her". I think that showed someone who is very confortable in their own body and not in line with many ladyboys who resort to surgery, botox, silicone etc to try to maintain their youthful appearance, and someone who would feel insecure amongst younger rivals.

Monday 28th April 2025 (Day 12) I have to switch the AC off in the night; the choice is either too cold or too hot and the former is worse for my cough. Wake up sometime after 6am and I'm pretty much still awake when my alarm goes off at 7am and I make my way to the beach to catch some sun before we leave and before it gets unbearably hot. Breakfast at 08:30 and by the time we've eaten is already too hot for the beach so we pack the car and leave. We drive 30 minutes down the road to the old Spanish era Pindangan Church ruins for a short stop and some photos before continuing the long drive back to Angeles. We finally get to Angeles City about 14:15 and drop Mr Suave and the Barkada off. Jane and I go to my hotel but my room is not yet ready so we go to the top floor for lunch. I had really enjoyed eating at the restaurant on my last trip and was looking forward to doing so again but Jane is a little put off by their prices, “so expensive” she says, so when the dish she wants is unavailable I suggest we go eat somewhere else which is pretty much the time someone turns up to tell us our room is now ready. Jane quickly sorts her clothes out and I decide to drive to Jollibee, as it is near Mr Sauve’s hotel, but this turns out to be an epic journey! I’m very tired and fed up of driving! Finally we get lunch, pick up Mr Suave, get the car washed, top-up the toll-road cards at the 7-Eleven, and drop off Jane near Korea-town on the way to returning the car to the airport. I get to my room for 18:00 and just crash. Jane arrives 25 minutes later and we both fall asleep until maybe 20:25. I force myself to go and change some cash, concerned that it the booths may close soon but they tell me they are open 24/7. However it's a good time to start getting ready to meet Mr Suave and the Barkada at Kokomos for dinner. Jane wants to get her hair done and buy some fuck-me boots so I give her some spending money and I go for a frozen margarita; I'm not hungry so we just have some of the noodles Mr Suave ordered for the girls but which they did not eat. The Barkada are trying to play us off one another to take them to Mega Dance, but I'm already tired. One drink at Phillies then back to Prime Asia hotel to crash out.

Although the question is straightforward the answer is an interesting one. I remember someone once writing "how do you tell if a Pinay is lying?" the answer being "you can see her lips move". I've come to conclusion it's not quite as straightforward as that it's a more a case of them living in their own reality. When we first met Jane told me she was 22 and to paraphrase she was "hooking to earn enough money to pay for her final year of the business tourism qualification" she's doing. I think it was when I came to booking the flights that I found out but according to her passport she is 28, which she explained away by saying (in broken English) something about her mother not having her birth certificate so she used her older brothers to get ID. Over the course of those few weeks her age varied anywhere between 22 and 28 - I don't think she considers these inconsistencies lies they're just her reality. That is a very good question but to answer it before my trip report draws to a conclusion I think would be pre-emptive. However I will reiterate that my initial intention was to meet up with a ladyboy I already knew and who was into threesomes and moresomes and had got a number of friends she could bring to the party, which I hoped would give me the best of both worlds. When she got boyfriended up I had to find a substitute for my trip, and as tempting as it was to take Kim up on her numerous offers of a threesome I was sane enough to realize that it could introduce complications that would far outweigh the short term benefits.

Sunday 27th April 2025 (Day 11) I wake just before 8am. It has been a good night’s sleep, the AC is quiet if a little too efficient for the thin bedsheet, the only bedding provided which means my Pinay Pocahontas has been cuddling up to me all night. Bouncy knocks on our door at 8:20 begging for water. Mr Suave was thoughtful enough to buy them ice-cream from the 7-Eleven last night but not practical enough to buy them any water whereas I bought 7L. This kind of sums up Mr Suave; fun-loving and thoughtful, always ready for a party and buying everyone pasalubong but not very organised whereas I'm almost anal about the small details. We met them for complimentary breakfast at 8:30; they all had various silog and I pre-ordered the continental which was pancakes with honey and some fruit. Jane did the washing; mainly her clothes plus mine that I’d worn in the cave and consequently smelled of bat shit. By 10:30 we went to the beach; the AC had really made my cold worse. Snotty nose and chesty cough but not feeling unwell. Stayed until gone 12:30 then we all went for a walk to the market which was a little disappointing. However we managed to get two full roast chickens from across the road and more supplies from the 7-Eleven that we brought back to Casa de Suave. Afterwards I attempted to find the San Juan Watchtower but it wasn't the building I had suspected based on the Google location so I gave up as it was just too hot. Had a siesta then went to the beach after 17:30 for a swim. We get cleaned up and quite by coincidence both groups are ready for 8pm. For want of something better to do we go back to Urbiztondo for dinner and drinks. What the difference a day makes. In hindsight it is obvious the Filipinos were here for Saturday night and today was more in line with my expectation of a sleepy seaside town. Tonight was the opposite problem of finding somewhere with a pulse to visit rather than somewhere with space. Mr Suave managed to find a beach front bar called Lakbai Musica; food was around ₱200-300 per meal and beers ₱95 but a G&T was ₱320 which is expensive for Philippines. Not long after we arrived the live music started, a female solo artist with a good voice who sang clearly in English and not an approximation. When the food arrived, of course not all at once, I was initially disappointed with my choice of Pork Bagnet but it had a lovely dipping sauce to redeem it, however Janes choice of Lechon Paksiw was better still! We get back to the car to find we have a parking fine but no real idea of how to pay the ₱330. Once back at the resort and Mr Suave and I drink the bottle of fruit wine I'd bought in Sagada - this one was the least vinegary of all. At 23:00 Jane and I return to the room for boom boom getting to sleep for just after midnight.

Filipino cuisine is notorious for being bad. That's not to say you cannot find decent food in PH but there's a reason you don't see Filipino restaurants in the West. One of the national favourites is deep fried chicken (see Jollibee) which is probably thanks to the Americans after WW2 but actually came from the Scots - tasty as it may be it's not exactly virbrant cuisine. A lot of their local dishes involve pork, which would be great but they insist on using the fatty parts such as the cheeks for Sisig which can be tasty but a heart attack waiting to happen. Of course of the coastal towns you'll get fresh seafood but that is hardly a national speciality. One of the dishes that I like enough to cook back home is Chicken Adobo; slow cooked chicken is a soy sauce and apple cider gravy - nice but hardly revolutionary. I'm sure other BM's will have their opinions but compared to the rest of Asia it is not what I would call a cullinary destination.

Saturday 26th April 2025 (Day 10) Woke up as it started to get light and the traffic on the adjacent road became noisy. By 8am I could smell breakfast being cooked, so I decided to go and see what the girls were up to. Bouncy and Kim were cooking fried rice. Eventually Commander Suave turned up and demanded his troops make pancakes so when they’d prepared them I got the girls to cook me some fried egg sarnies. It was well gone 10am before we had finished breakfast and packed our bags, leaving a load of washing up behind so I suggested that we leave ₱200 tip for the cleaners. We drove up to the top of a street to check out the market and pick up some more pasalubong. There was not much on offer, I suspect it is mass produced in China and a Sagada label then sewn on to differentiate it from all the stuff you’d buy in any other town. It is a long 160km drive to La Union, three quarters of it along winding mountain roads where average speed is less than 40kph. We have to make one stop so the girls can go pee and another half an hour later in Suyo for reasons I cannot remember. We get to our hotel around 15:30, I quickly get changed into my swimming shorts and go to the beach. Isla Bonita hotel is beachfront with loungers and volleyball nets! The girls are hungry so we order a bit of food to put us on until dinner. I go for a swim in the warm sea and the girls play volleyball with the locals for a while – I’d bought a volleyball in Angeles and Bouncy had been carrying it around ever since. I read a chapter of my book and take a photo of the sunset. We get cleaned up and arrange to meet at 19:15 in order to go out for dinner, but it is closer to 19:45. We walk to the nearby San Juan Night Market but there are only about half a dozen stalls. So I walk back to the hotel to get the car and we drive to San Fernando night market which is not there! According to google maps we are in the correct location buy there is nothing but empty streets. So we drive to tavern by the sea in Urbiztondo as recommended by our hotel but when we get there it is very busy and it is a struggle to find somewhere to park. There are hundreds of Filipinos here queuing to go to the beach bars. I was expecting a sleepy little beach town and once again my expectations were way out as what we got was a bustling party town. We had to park some distance away then walk back to the recommended place to eat which is a selection of stalls in what looks like the bottom floor of a hotel. We get a reasonable feed but it is a little too hot where we are sat. We check out the beach bar and live music but I'm so hot I just want to return to the hotel. Upon returning The Barkada go to the hotel next door and catch the last two songs of the live band whilst I'm cooling down in the room. Boom boom and bed for midnight!

Friday 25th April 2025 (Day 9) Jane wakes up feeling horny but as is typical for me I am no mood for morning sex. It’s ironic that last night when I was horny she was crying. After cuddling for 10 minutes or so we leave our room at 8am to find the Barkada making breakfast of egg sandwiches, pancakes and pancit (noodles). Bouncy seems to revel in playing house and has taken charge of the kitchen! We head out about 10am. We decided not to use the same guide as the previous day as we found him to be lazy. Instead with drove directly to Sumaging cave just a few minutes down the road, and found a guide there called Denver. There's a firm rule it seems about 1 guide per 5 people, so Mr Suave decided to see the entrance only leaving the Barkada to explore the cave. Of course the girls are dressed more like we were going to a trip to the mall rather than spelunking causing some amusement amongst the old ladies we passed – I don’t they’d been well briefed on what to expect. It was certainly very slippery in places and we were required to climb down some steep rocks and paddle through cool pools of water but it wasn't nearly as cold as I'd been led to expect. So swimming shirts and a light shirt over the wife beater was plenty warm enough. From the entrance of the cave and back again was about 1 hour 20 minutes. I had brought along my 1100W mountain bike light which was handy as I was able to light the group from the back while the guide lit from the front. I also brought along both my 20L and 5L waterproof bags into which the girls phones, cigarettes and handbags eventually went. We were done for midday. Mr suave had returned to a hotel but not before going to the Coffin Cave and he strongly recommended that we do that also. There were no guides at the cave so I jumped back into the car and returned to where we met Denver and asked him to also be our guide for Luamping cave. He was really quite chatty, at least with the girls, but that stop-off added 45 minutes on to our outing. So as we drove back to town the girls now wanted to eat before going to church. We returned to the guesthouse so that we could all get showers and wash the bat shit from our bodies. Therefore it was nearly 2pm before we ventured out just across the road to the highly recommended Yogurt House. It seems that half of the menu was unavailable; I thought the rice dish that I had was okay but the yogurt was overpriced and nothing special. Mr Suave’s group were totally unimpressed with the place. After lunch I took the groceries Mr Suave had bought back to our guesthouse on the way to get the car. I picked up the group to go to St Mary's church, it was only a 5 minutes stop so the girls could say a prayer. We paused outside Ganduyan Museum but once again it was closed, so we returned to the hotel and the girls started preparing dinner. The girls were very excited at the prospect of using the kitchen. Jane modelling the "pasalubong" that Mr Suave had bought her. It started raining heavily again which delayed my shopping trip to get beers etc. I must have gone in maybe 10 sari-sari and pasalubong shops before I found the 3 where I could get red horse beers, wine and gin. Dinner was ready by the time we got back; pork in coconut milk and red rice. I enjoyed it but I don't think the girls were as impressed or perhaps they were not hungry following our late lunch; they certainly did not seem happy about the red rice. We lounged around for a while; Jane gave me a massage and I opened a bottle of Green Mango wine that Kim described as "vinegar", before calling it a night.