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I'm sure we've all been in one or two bars around Pattaya, and I'm sure quite a few people have noticed the distinctly awful quality of the ...ahem... 'music' that is played in said bars. The volume of the 'music' is quite another issue - usually somewhere between earsplitting and brainmelting, I find. There are a few exceptions - Famous Bar, particularly - where the manager/owner will be happy to play the music that the punters like and/or bring with them. God bless their cotton socks. It may be that I'm getting old (but then who isn't?), but I don't think that has a particular bearing on this, as there is some modern music that I quite like. No, I think I can state - with hand on heart - that the dreadful shite we are subjected to in bar after bar after bar is ... well, torture on the ears. And it doesn't help that it all sounds the same. Don't believe me? Here's scientific proof that it does. Now, as I live here, I'm in a position not just to complain about it, but to actually do something about it. What objective did I have in mind? Well, I had two things in mind. One - stuff that wouldn't make me feel physically sick to have to listen to (yes, that's you, Harlem Shake, that I'm talking about), and two - it had to be something the girls in La Bamba could actually dance to, 'cos god knows we love to see them shake their booties. Still with me? Good, then I'll continue. With that in mind, I ...ahem... acquired a bunch of albums (showing my age there, what what?) and sat down to listen to at least a portion of each track - some 3000 tracks in total. And, yes, they did all begin to sound the same after a while - after about 3 tracks, to be precise. These albums were of the 'Summer Dance Party,' 'Holiday Anthems,' 'Dream Dance Volume 66' variety, so I'm sure you must think I deserve a medal for my efforts... As I sit here now typing this, I feel ... polluted. There's no other way to describe it. Sullied, unclean, having subjected myself to the most execrable, miserable, meritless pile of poo I've ever had the misfortune to listen to. And the result? Just over 100 tracks - out of over 3000! - that I could describe as the least objectionable of them all. Not good, you understand - just the least worst. And, boy, did I have to lower my sights - there is not 1 track that I can actually say I like. Not a single one. So - and here's the point (Rickshaw will be relieved. 555) - what can we do to improve the quality of music in bars that we frequent - in some cases, bars that we love? This is a call to arms, gentlemen. Let us not go quietly into the night (possibly due to battered eardrums), let us do something about it. Act, demand, suggest, whatever. Over to you.