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The POETS corner: Post only in style or be hoovered

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OK, this is a cheat. (At least I'm copping to it). I won't even try to improve on it (impossible) because it's perfect and my favourite set of lyrics of all time, and for some reason I always think of Thailand when I hear it, every time... Tom Waits' Tom Traubert's Blues. The song chronicles alcohol abuse, hookers, broken dreams, love and longing, hard won insight and understanding, and borrows for its chorus Australia's most famous traditional song (Waltzing Matilda) - Amazing stuff...

 

Wasted and wounded
and it ain't what the moon did
I got what i paid for now
see you tomorrow
hey frank can i borrow
a couple of bucks from you

to go waltzing matilda waltzing matilda
you'll go waltzing matilda with me...


I'm an innocent victim
of a blinded alley
and i'm tired of all these soldiers here
no-one speaks english
and everything's broken
and my Stacys are soakin' wet
to go waltzing matilda, waltzing matilda
you'll go a waltzing matilda with me...


Now the dogs are barking
and the taxi cabs parking
a lot they can do for me
i begged you to stab me
you tore my shirt open
and i'm down on my knees tonight

old bushmills i staggered
you buried the dagger
your silhouette window light
to go waltzing matilda, waltzing matilda
you'll go a waltzing matilda with me...

And I've lost my st. christopher
now that i kissed her
and the one-arm bandit knows
and the maverick chinaman
and the cold-blooded signs
and the girls down by the striptease shows go...
waltzing matilda, waltzing matilda
you'll go a waltzing matilda with me...


No I don't want your sympathy
fugitives say
that the streets aren't for dreaming now
manslaughter dragnets
and the ghosts that sell memories
want a piece of the action anyhow
go waltzing matilda, waltzing matilda
you'll go waltzing matilda with me...


and you can ask any sailor
and the keys from the jailor
and the old men in wheelchairs know
that Matilda's the defendant
she killed about a hundred
and she follows wherever you may go

waltzing matilda, waltzing matilda
you'll go waltzing matilda with me.....


And it's a battered old suitcase
to a hotel someplace
and a wound that will never heal
no prima donnas the perfume is on her
and an old shirt that is stained with blood and whiskey

...
And goodnight to the street-sweepers,
the night watchmen flame-keepers

And goodnight  .................Matilda too.

 

 

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23 hours ago, blind boy grunt said:

             The Ballad of QG, Kimmie, Emmy, and a Car.

[Journey through a hard night]

 

 

  Down down, into the footwell of the car he dropped

taking kimmie with him too,

Down down, of his own volition,

on whatever private mission.

  Over the bump of a pothole they went,

He yelped ‘ Emmy, my dicks stuck in the air vent!

Said Emmy “QG and Kimmy what are you doing?

 my car you will surely ruin!”

“Ignore him” cried Grunt from the seat in the back

For he is just being silly,

I could do without all this messing about,

 I should have stayed, in TJs... with my true love Lily.”

 

  “Throw him out!” said Quinn [I think it was him]

But could have been Kevin I really don’t know now

Memory nowadays being somewhat uncertain,

“Oh don’t you know” [continued Quinn] we don’t really need this show,

‘tween front and back should be a curtain.”

Emmy said ‘Grunt.. I have to do something perverse, for bad or worse, 

change gear from first to reverse

But QG he’s impaled deep upon the stick,

please advise me what to do quick "

 

  “Well" i replied” “I’ll tell to you the truth , but quickly now don’t hesitate,

but first open the sun roof before it gets too late.”

So Emmy changed from first to reverse and through the roof Quietguy flew

Screaming and snarling, cursing and a-yelling, yee-haw! oh, what a to-do!

Followed fast by Kimmie who was still attached, er... willy-nilly

Wishing she was back in TJs with BB, PD, bella and Lily.

 

  So, talking to Emmy a day or two after

Rolling up with tears of laughter

Said she with all the English that she could muster

QG once told me that his heritage is Indian" she said without fluster,

and Sunny told me of his little big horn, or something along those lines

so doesn’t that mean that his ancestor’s hunted buffaloes

and then they killed Custer?

What tribe is he pray tell me Grunt,  Sioux, Comanche or Arapaho?”

“well Emmy I replied “ he’s certainly Sue in some clubs in Soho.

Where he confesses that he wears nice dresses, a bra and a girdle

But If he’s ever arrested he’ll jump across that hurdle.

Though he’ll have difficulty explaining to his friend lola

When she sees, the scar on his arse shaped like a gear shift

From a Honda, Chevrolet , Ford or Suzuki Swift.”

 

Well, the moral of this poem, the moral of this song

Is simple don’t be where you don’t belong

So Sunny and teya if you are listening,

and he invites you into the front of a car with him

Jump into the back seat, and lock the doors if you are able.

This story is no fable.

Of Kimmie, no more has ever been seen

Thanks to counceling her nightmare is perhaps just a dream.

Quinn or Kevin and grunt now recovered, we are hoping!

But Emmy She is still- only just coping,

When she turns on the air-con in her car,

strange fluid is ejected somehow …

but I guess we’ll finish this now.

Tell me dear  Sir

The Kimmie to whom you refer

Was she the one from Naklua

Cause if it was I knew her

The first time I met her at TJ's bar

She was sitting with another called Sophia

The one I now call my dear

If it was the same Kimmie

A drink she could shimmy

right down to the bottom

And ask for another it wasn't a problem

Since those days at the end of 18

I wonder how she has developed from what I think was a teen

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i think dear woodie

it certainly could be,

the one you mention

- a drink or two

down her neck they flew,

but no doubt later we will learn

QG himself might confirm.

and to Quinn and Dirty old town

do it tha' self then...

get the words wrote down!

:biggrin:

 

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1 hour ago, Woodie said:

Tell me dear  Sir

The Kimmie to whom you refer

Was she the one from Naklua

Cause if it was I knew her

The first time I met her at TJ's bar

She was sitting with another called Sophia

The one I now call my dear

If it was the same Kimmie

A drink she could shimmy

right down to the bottom

And ask for another it wasn't a problem

Since those days at the end of 18

I wonder how she has developed from what I think was a teen

 

1 hour ago, blind boy grunt said:

i think dear woodie

it certainly could be,

the one you mention

- a drink or two

down her neck they flew,

but no doubt later we will learn

QG himself might confirm.

Yes, indeed 'tis the same Kimmy.

She certainly can shimmy.

After downing a gallon of beer,

she can still sexily shake her rear!

At TJ's she is not now,

last seen in a bar on Soi Buakhow.

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7 hours ago, Quinn said:

You all should get out more 5555 

Because of Covid we cannot roam,

Stuck in lockdown in our home!

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6 hours ago, Quietguy said:

 

Yes, indeed 'tis the same Kimmy.

She certainly can shimmy.

After downing a gallon of beer,

she can still sexily shake her rear!

At TJ's she is not now,

last seen in a bar on Soi Buakhow.

Yes that Kimmy can shake her rear

Of that you can have no fear

Despite the downing of a few 

She can still keep them coming, phew

The last time we met was near Soi Bukhao in Annie's Bar

While sitting with my long term star.

It was an awkward time  as I do recall

She sat at the next table but it was hardly a ball

My mind racing back to the time we three met

But to look at us now it was without a regret

That I made the right choice on our first meeting

To return that Kimmy and go out with my sweet thing.

 

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Thanks gentlemen.  I knew I was on to something when I started this thread, but the quantity and quality so far of your posts has exceeded my expectations.  I am especially impressed with the BMs who write their poetry from scratch …  As to those (like myself) who spoof lyrics, I suggest that going forward we post also the corresponding music video (like Jimmy CP did above) as not every BM is familiar with every song.

And please keep’em coming.  Let it never be said ladyboy mongers are without literary skill.  I plan to add a POETRY ROMSCAR to this year’s (2020) awards.

For BMs who might be hesitating to poetically express themselves in the presence of such inspired mongering bards, please remember you can just post an haiku, or a few lines vaguely poetic.  Like this little rhyme I just made up:

A man’s home is his castle
A sailor’s home is the sea
A cold beer and a ladyboy’s ass
Are home enough for me.

R:biggrin:m

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1 hour ago, Rom said:

or a few lines vaguely poetic

 
Starry starry night
Moist warm musky delight
Stiletto gone missing beer bottle inside
Annabelle my love
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4 hours ago, Pdoggg said:
 
Starry starry night
Moist warm musky delight
Stiletto gone missing beer bottle inside
Annabelle my love

Now I understand
What you tried to show to Bumblebee
And how you suffered at the bar Katty
And how you tried to set them free
They would not fuck you, they did not know how
Perhaps they'll admit it now

For they could not cocksuck you
And to make it worse your pussy was true
And when no farang was left in sight
On that starry, starry night
You left without a shoe, as drunkards often do
But I could have told you, Anabelle
Katty's bar was never meant for one
As genetic as you

 

inspired by Don McLean's Vincent ( Starry, Starry Night)

 

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16 hours ago, Quietguy said:

Because of Covid we cannot roam,

Stuck in lockdown in our home!

oh QG, you are wrong you see

you are stuck in your home then,

not because of corona, when

the actions and reactions from foolish men,

are causing society's disaster.

let it go let it flow

let it do what is meant to,

i know that it is worrying

but it will go away so much faster.

remember then, the words to the wicked messenger when

it was said to few and many

'if you cannot bring good news then don't bring any.'

 

 

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The 'foolish men' who you deride

are learned men who are on our side.

Epidemiologists, scientists, doctors and professors,

their only purpose to protect us.

They know much more than blind boy grunt does.

I'd trust them more about Coronavirus.

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the only protection is immunity

but you have to catch it first you see,

learned men can be fools as well

wait for the truth, time will tell.

half of them are just fakers

wanting names in the papers,

for you to read, you're just a pawn

in their game- god save us!

this road you're walking, well we will see

a nasty toll, the end of society,

lock down/shut down/ go down/slow down.

the future i see it has to be said,

maybe we would be better dead.

 

 

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31 minutes ago, blind boy grunt said:

the only protection is immunity

but you have to catch it first you see,

 

the future i see it has to be said,

maybe we would be better dead.

I'd rather not catch Covid, 

when all is said. 

And I'd rather be locked in

than be dead.

A nasty disease, you cannot deny.

I can think of better ways to die.

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well that is so what you said

but die we all will .

a nasty disease, i do agree

especially if old like you and me

but so are many more ailments for sure

and none have lockdown protection,

but talking about cancer or diabetes or more

won't win the next election.

i know it's bad out there no argument from me, it's true

but the so called cure will make it worse for them and me and you.

you shouldn't be sitting in your rooms reflecting

get out on the streets protesting,

okay if you are happy as prisoners

then keep quiet and get what you deserve.

the world's gone mad it seems to me

now we are arguing in poetry!

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3 hours ago, blind boy grunt said:

but die we all will

Of course death will come to all of us.

But I'd rather it wasn't from coronavirus.

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1 hour ago, Quietguy said:

Of course death will come to all of us.

But I'd rather it wasn't from coronavirus.

breathing heavy dripping sweat
rode into valley death
on a well hung stallion, Ventilator
i should have barebacked more 

 

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10 hours ago, Quietguy said:

Of course death will come to all of us.

But I'd rather it wasn't from coronavirus.

 

"for those that think death's honesty

wont fall upon them naturally.

Life sometimes must get lonely.

but it's alright.. it's life and life only"

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And those of us that defy deaths call for many a day

Keep defying the odds keeping it at bay

Too many friends fall by the way

Damn it I am here to stay

Or so we think but there may be a chink

In the armour of life whenever we stop and think

On and on we go with nary a care

Tempted by a LB's sexy stare

After a drink or two with our girl of choice

She says shall we go to your room with a sultry voice

Off we go hand in hand

Who knows what will happen on this one night stand

Up the stairs we climb with me right behind

To get a glance of what I might find

Into the room and she says where is the shower

I tell her right there but I want to see your power

Off comes the dress then the panties what a sight to behold

I think I might just have struck gold

I said into the shower girl I must have your weapon

Off she walked I was going to be in heaven

Soon she was back with her tool shiny clean

Dragged me onto the bed pushing my head down between 

I kissed and I sucked until she said just suck my stem

Rolled her over and gave her a rimming

While she continued to moan and say she was cumming

Not so fast I said as she lay there panting

There is more I want before we finish our romancing 

Down you go you wanton whore

Down below I want you to go down there and me to explore

So down she went with her lips so red

On to my tool and my legs all spread

Did I say she was good well take it from me

She is a 9 out of 10 maybe a 10 if she was free

She sucked and blew until I said enough

Lets cum together before you get too rough

So on her back she lay as I pounded her hard

I thought about the Queen Mother to try and retard

But enough is enough and with one mighty stroke I had to declare

Come on you bitch I am going to flare

She was moaning and making a noise

And at that time she lost all her poise

She came like a hydrant all over the place

Making sure I got enough on my face

With her satisfied I returned the favour

She squealed and said come on please give me more I really love the flavour

We crashed back down at the end of our endeavours

And made a return date to continue these adventures

 

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