Jimmy Cargopants Posted May 26, 2020 Share Posted May 26, 2020 OK, this is a cheat. (At least I'm copping to it). I won't even try to improve on it (impossible) because it's perfect and my favourite set of lyrics of all time, and for some reason I always think of Thailand when I hear it, every time... Tom Waits' Tom Traubert's Blues. The song chronicles alcohol abuse, hookers, broken dreams, love and longing, hard won insight and understanding, and borrows for its chorus Australia's most famous traditional song (Waltzing Matilda) - Amazing stuff... Wasted and wounded and it ain't what the moon did I got what i paid for now see you tomorrow hey frank can i borrow a couple of bucks from you to go waltzing matilda waltzing matilda you'll go waltzing matilda with me... I'm an innocent victim of a blinded alley and i'm tired of all these soldiers here no-one speaks english and everything's broken and my Stacys are soakin' wet to go waltzing matilda, waltzing matilda you'll go a waltzing matilda with me... Now the dogs are barking and the taxi cabs parking a lot they can do for me i begged you to stab me you tore my shirt open and i'm down on my knees tonight old bushmills i staggered you buried the dagger your silhouette window light to go waltzing matilda, waltzing matilda you'll go a waltzing matilda with me... And I've lost my st. christopher now that i kissed her and the one-arm bandit knows and the maverick chinaman and the cold-blooded signs and the girls down by the striptease shows go... waltzing matilda, waltzing matilda you'll go a waltzing matilda with me... No I don't want your sympathy fugitives say that the streets aren't for dreaming now manslaughter dragnets and the ghosts that sell memories want a piece of the action anyhow go waltzing matilda, waltzing matilda you'll go waltzing matilda with me... and you can ask any sailor and the keys from the jailor and the old men in wheelchairs know that Matilda's the defendant she killed about a hundred and she follows wherever you may go waltzing matilda, waltzing matilda you'll go waltzing matilda with me..... And it's a battered old suitcase to a hotel someplace and a wound that will never heal no prima donnas the perfume is on her and an old shirt that is stained with blood and whiskey ... And goodnight to the street-sweepers, the night watchmen flame-keepers And goodnight .................Matilda too. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Woodie Posted May 26, 2020 Share Posted May 26, 2020 23 hours ago, blind boy grunt said: The Ballad of QG, Kimmie, Emmy, and a Car. [Journey through a hard night] Down down, into the footwell of the car he dropped taking kimmie with him too, Down down, of his own volition, on whatever private mission. Over the bump of a pothole they went, He yelped ‘ Emmy, my dicks stuck in the air vent! Said Emmy “QG and Kimmy what are you doing? my car you will surely ruin!” “Ignore him” cried Grunt from the seat in the back “For he is just being silly, I could do without all this messing about, I should have stayed, in TJs... with my true love Lily.” “Throw him out!” said Quinn [I think it was him] But could have been Kevin I really don’t know now Memory nowadays being somewhat uncertain, “Oh don’t you know” [continued Quinn] “we don’t really need this show, ‘tween front and back should be a curtain.” Emmy said ‘Grunt.. I have to do something perverse, for bad or worse, change gear from first to reverse But QG he’s impaled deep upon the stick, please advise me what to do quick " “Well" i replied” “I’ll tell to you the truth , but quickly now don’t hesitate, but first open the sun roof before it gets too late.” So Emmy changed from first to reverse and through the roof Quietguy flew Screaming and snarling, cursing and a-yelling, yee-haw! oh, what a to-do! Followed fast by Kimmie who was still attached, er... willy-nilly Wishing she was back in TJs with BB, PD, bella and Lily. So, talking to Emmy a day or two after Rolling up with tears of laughter Said she with all the English that she could muster “QG once told me that his heritage is Indian" she said without fluster, and Sunny told me of his little big horn, or something along those lines so doesn’t that mean that his ancestor’s hunted buffaloes and then they killed Custer? What tribe is he pray tell me Grunt, Sioux, Comanche or Arapaho?” “well Emmy” I replied “ he’s certainly Sue in some clubs in Soho. Where he confesses that he wears nice dresses, a bra and a girdle But If he’s ever arrested he’ll jump across that hurdle. Though he’ll have difficulty explaining to his friend lola When she sees, the scar on his arse shaped like a gear shift From a Honda, Chevrolet , Ford or Suzuki Swift.” Well, the moral of this poem, the moral of this song Is simple don’t be where you don’t belong So Sunny and teya if you are listening, and he invites you into the front of a car with him Jump into the back seat, and lock the doors if you are able. This story is no fable. Of Kimmie, no more has ever been seen Thanks to counceling her nightmare is perhaps just a dream. Quinn or Kevin and grunt now recovered, we are hoping! But Emmy She is still- only just coping, When she turns on the air-con in her car, strange fluid is ejected somehow … but I guess we’ll finish this now. Tell me dear Sir The Kimmie to whom you refer Was she the one from Naklua Cause if it was I knew her The first time I met her at TJ's bar She was sitting with another called Sophia The one I now call my dear If it was the same Kimmie A drink she could shimmy right down to the bottom And ask for another it wasn't a problem Since those days at the end of 18 I wonder how she has developed from what I think was a teen 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blind boy grunt Posted May 26, 2020 Share Posted May 26, 2020 i think dear woodie it certainly could be, the one you mention - a drink or two down her neck they flew, but no doubt later we will learn QG himself might confirm. and to Quinn and Dirty old town do it tha' self then... get the words wrote down! 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quinn Posted May 26, 2020 Share Posted May 26, 2020 I was there Jimmy. Outstanding. ! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quietguy Posted May 26, 2020 Share Posted May 26, 2020 1 hour ago, Woodie said: Tell me dear Sir The Kimmie to whom you refer Was she the one from Naklua Cause if it was I knew her The first time I met her at TJ's bar She was sitting with another called Sophia The one I now call my dear If it was the same Kimmie A drink she could shimmy right down to the bottom And ask for another it wasn't a problem Since those days at the end of 18 I wonder how she has developed from what I think was a teen 1 hour ago, blind boy grunt said: i think dear woodie it certainly could be, the one you mention - a drink or two down her neck they flew, but no doubt later we will learn QG himself might confirm. Yes, indeed 'tis the same Kimmy. She certainly can shimmy. After downing a gallon of beer, she can still sexily shake her rear! At TJ's she is not now, last seen in a bar on Soi Buakhow. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quietguy Posted May 26, 2020 Share Posted May 26, 2020 7 hours ago, Quinn said: You all should get out more 5555 Because of Covid we cannot roam, Stuck in lockdown in our home! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Woodie Posted May 26, 2020 Share Posted May 26, 2020 6 hours ago, Quietguy said: Yes, indeed 'tis the same Kimmy. She certainly can shimmy. After downing a gallon of beer, she can still sexily shake her rear! At TJ's she is not now, last seen in a bar on Soi Buakhow. Yes that Kimmy can shake her rear Of that you can have no fear Despite the downing of a few She can still keep them coming, phew The last time we met was near Soi Bukhao in Annie's Bar While sitting with my long term star. It was an awkward time as I do recall She sat at the next table but it was hardly a ball My mind racing back to the time we three met But to look at us now it was without a regret That I made the right choice on our first meeting To return that Kimmy and go out with my sweet thing. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rom Posted May 26, 2020 Author Share Posted May 26, 2020 Thanks gentlemen. I knew I was on to something when I started this thread, but the quantity and quality so far of your posts has exceeded my expectations. I am especially impressed with the BMs who write their poetry from scratch … As to those (like myself) who spoof lyrics, I suggest that going forward we post also the corresponding music video (like Jimmy CP did above) as not every BM is familiar with every song. And please keep’em coming. Let it never be said ladyboy mongers are without literary skill. I plan to add a POETRY ROMSCAR to this year’s (2020) awards. For BMs who might be hesitating to poetically express themselves in the presence of such inspired mongering bards, please remember you can just post an haiku, or a few lines vaguely poetic. Like this little rhyme I just made up: A man’s home is his castle A sailor’s home is the sea A cold beer and a ladyboy’s ass Are home enough for me. Rm 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pdoggg Posted May 26, 2020 Share Posted May 26, 2020 1 hour ago, Rom said: or a few lines vaguely poetic Starry starry night Moist warm musky delight Stiletto gone missing beer bottle inside Annabelle my love 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rom Posted May 26, 2020 Author Share Posted May 26, 2020 4 hours ago, Pdoggg said: Starry starry night Moist warm musky delight Stiletto gone missing beer bottle inside Annabelle my love Now I understand What you tried to show to Bumblebee And how you suffered at the bar Katty And how you tried to set them free They would not fuck you, they did not know how Perhaps they'll admit it now For they could not cocksuck you And to make it worse your pussy was true And when no farang was left in sight On that starry, starry night You left without a shoe, as drunkards often do But I could have told you, Anabelle Katty's bar was never meant for one As genetic as you inspired by Don McLean's Vincent ( Starry, Starry Night) 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blind boy grunt Posted May 26, 2020 Share Posted May 26, 2020 16 hours ago, Quietguy said: Because of Covid we cannot roam, Stuck in lockdown in our home! oh QG, you are wrong you see you are stuck in your home then, not because of corona, when the actions and reactions from foolish men, are causing society's disaster. let it go let it flow let it do what is meant to, i know that it is worrying but it will go away so much faster. remember then, the words to the wicked messenger when it was said to few and many 'if you cannot bring good news then don't bring any.' Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quietguy Posted May 27, 2020 Share Posted May 27, 2020 The 'foolish men' who you deride are learned men who are on our side. Epidemiologists, scientists, doctors and professors, their only purpose to protect us. They know much more than blind boy grunt does. I'd trust them more about Coronavirus. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blind boy grunt Posted May 27, 2020 Share Posted May 27, 2020 the only protection is immunity but you have to catch it first you see, learned men can be fools as well wait for the truth, time will tell. half of them are just fakers wanting names in the papers, for you to read, you're just a pawn in their game- god save us! this road you're walking, well we will see a nasty toll, the end of society, lock down/shut down/ go down/slow down. the future i see it has to be said, maybe we would be better dead. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quietguy Posted May 27, 2020 Share Posted May 27, 2020 31 minutes ago, blind boy grunt said: the only protection is immunity but you have to catch it first you see, the future i see it has to be said, maybe we would be better dead. I'd rather not catch Covid, when all is said. And I'd rather be locked in than be dead. A nasty disease, you cannot deny. I can think of better ways to die. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blind boy grunt Posted May 27, 2020 Share Posted May 27, 2020 well that is so what you said but die we all will . a nasty disease, i do agree especially if old like you and me but so are many more ailments for sure and none have lockdown protection, but talking about cancer or diabetes or more won't win the next election. i know it's bad out there no argument from me, it's true but the so called cure will make it worse for them and me and you. you shouldn't be sitting in your rooms reflecting get out on the streets protesting, okay if you are happy as prisoners then keep quiet and get what you deserve. the world's gone mad it seems to me now we are arguing in poetry! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quietguy Posted May 27, 2020 Share Posted May 27, 2020 3 hours ago, blind boy grunt said: but die we all will Of course death will come to all of us. But I'd rather it wasn't from coronavirus. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pdoggg Posted May 27, 2020 Share Posted May 27, 2020 1 hour ago, Quietguy said: Of course death will come to all of us. But I'd rather it wasn't from coronavirus. breathing heavy dripping sweat rode into valley death on a well hung stallion, Ventilator i should have barebacked more 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blind boy grunt Posted May 28, 2020 Share Posted May 28, 2020 10 hours ago, Quietguy said: Of course death will come to all of us. But I'd rather it wasn't from coronavirus. "for those that think death's honesty wont fall upon them naturally. Life sometimes must get lonely. but it's alright.. it's life and life only" 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Woodie Posted May 28, 2020 Share Posted May 28, 2020 And those of us that defy deaths call for many a day Keep defying the odds keeping it at bay Too many friends fall by the way Damn it I am here to stay Or so we think but there may be a chink In the armour of life whenever we stop and think On and on we go with nary a care Tempted by a LB's sexy stare After a drink or two with our girl of choice She says shall we go to your room with a sultry voice Off we go hand in hand Who knows what will happen on this one night stand Up the stairs we climb with me right behind To get a glance of what I might find Into the room and she says where is the shower I tell her right there but I want to see your power Off comes the dress then the panties what a sight to behold I think I might just have struck gold I said into the shower girl I must have your weapon Off she walked I was going to be in heaven Soon she was back with her tool shiny clean Dragged me onto the bed pushing my head down between I kissed and I sucked until she said just suck my stem Rolled her over and gave her a rimming While she continued to moan and say she was cumming Not so fast I said as she lay there panting There is more I want before we finish our romancing Down you go you wanton whore Down below I want you to go down there and me to explore So down she went with her lips so red On to my tool and my legs all spread Did I say she was good well take it from me She is a 9 out of 10 maybe a 10 if she was free She sucked and blew until I said enough Lets cum together before you get too rough So on her back she lay as I pounded her hard I thought about the Queen Mother to try and retard But enough is enough and with one mighty stroke I had to declare Come on you bitch I am going to flare She was moaning and making a noise And at that time she lost all her poise She came like a hydrant all over the place Making sure I got enough on my face With her satisfied I returned the favour She squealed and said come on please give me more I really love the flavour We crashed back down at the end of our endeavours And made a return date to continue these adventures 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts