MY GG GIRL FRIEND.

[alaskanbear]

hello all my friends i fall in love with a Thai bar girl she is beautiful not ask me for nothing no money just love from me. yes not ask for money but she need to keep working for money for family . this is very hard to not go ting tong when i know she is with customer like now for a full week i just talk to her. she tell me she loves me and miss me but this is very hard. my friends any advise on how not to think of it. i plan on bring her back to USA on my next trip. again she not want money from me just my heart . what do you all think..?HELP ME GUYS.

สวัสดีทุกคนตกฉันของฉันเพื่อนรักกับสาวบาร์ไทยเธอสวยไม่ต้องถามฉันเพื่ออะไรไม่มีเงินเพียงแค่ความรักจากฉัน ใช่ไม่ได้ขอเงิน แต่เธอต้องเก็บเงินสำหรับการทำงานให้กับครอบครัว นี้เป็นเรื่องยากมากที่จะไม่ทิ้งทองไปเมื่อรู้ว่าเธออยู่กับลูกค้าชอบตอนนี้สำหรับผมสัปดาห์เต็มเพียงแค่พูดคุยกับเธอ เธอบอกผมว่าเธอรักฉันและฉันคิดถึง แต่เรื่องนี้ยากมาก เพื่อนของฉัน ๆ ให้คำแนะนำเกี่ยวกับวิธีการที่จะไม่คิดว่ามัน แผนการ i ในการกลับมาของเธอไปยังประเทศสหรัฐอเมริกาในการเดินทางไปของฉัน อีกครั้งที่เธอไม่ต้องการเงินจากฉันเพียงหัวใจของฉัน ทุกสิ่งที่คุณคิดว่า .. ? ช่วยฉันผู้ชาย

[pdogg]

Not easy when you're not with the one you love AB and I know it's going to be awhile till you return.

It's also not easy to get Thais into the USA. Not 100% impossible, but most applicants get turned down.

[Jimslim]

My advice is to put her out of your mind big man and forget her .

Not easy I'm sure , you seem quite smitten but it will save you heartache further down the line .

Maybe not what you wanted to hear but as you are one of the good guys you deserve a bit of honesty and a reality check .

Good luck .

[alaskanbear]

My advice is to put her out of your mind big man and forget her .

Not easy I'm sure , you seem quite smitten but it will save you heartache further down the line .

Maybe not what you wanted to hear but as you are one of the good guys you deserve a bit of honesty and a reality check .

Good luck .

thank you buddy.

I want to here what every one thinks....

[seanbeag7]

I think jim boy is right in a way, for me i think it's best that you don't try as if she gets refused, she will blame you and you lose a little face in LOS, which i think you already know is not a good thing to have around you.

[Katoeylover]

3. options.

First as Jim says, Forget and move on

Second, take care of her and her family. send her home and work on a visa. this costs!! (i know!!)

Third, move to Thailand and live together, forever

[alaskanbear]

thank you KL my butty.

[janabiyah]

I am in exactly the same situation. 2 days ago I met a beautiful LB online. She lives in Davao. Yesterday I had a ton of mail from her. She is madly in love with me, wants me to come to Philipines and meet her and her Mother and walk hand in hand through the shopping malls.

She did not even mention money once, help me out here guys, should I go?

[williethepimp]

I never know what to do with my own life,so I can't advise anyone else....but AB,does she know about your LB fetish...?If not,are you prepared to give that up for her?

[alaskanbear]

I never know what to do with my own life,so I can't advise anyone else....but AB,does she know about your LB fetish...?If not,are you prepared to give that up for her?

yes she works in a LB bar.. she is a sweet girl.

[JaiDee]

My advice is to put her out of your mind big man and forget her .

the only answer

[SiamSam]

AB,

I saw her last week briefly and we spoke about you. She just arrived at work and was in a rush to get ready for her 5pm start. We didn't have a lot of time to talk but she told me she misses you and it appeared sincere.

She's a working girl and as such needs to do what she does to make money for her and her family. It is extremely difficult for her to abandon this unless you are prepared and able to provide what she will lose if she gives up her "job". You knew this going into the relationship.

Getting her a Visa will be very tough and probably impossible. Even if you marry her getting her to the US will take time.

There is no easy answer or solution to your current situation. KL's response above lists the only options available to you. One of them is to forget the whole thing until both your situations lend themselves otherwise.

[pdogg]

I never know what to do with my own life,so I can't advise anyone else....but AB,does she know about your LB fetish...?If not,are you prepared to give that up for her?

AB, Can't think of anyone who seems more excited about ladyboys than you so giving them up would seem to be a major sacrifice.

Of course giving up pussy is the sacrifice one makes if in a monogomous relationship with a ladyboy.

So perhaps a more open relationship might suit your needs?

[dixon cox]

AB, because you opened your heart to the forum I will return the same to you.

Believe it or not, I am a 'lover' like you, rather than a hardened monger. I want to fall in love and be in love, just one girl for me, it's just the way I am. For me, the bar-hopping is to socialise and meet the guys, not to meet the girls, as I will already be with mine. The reasons I want only one is another topic, so I won't get into that here.

Your situation is extremely difficult because the gap between your visits is greater than mine, so I feel for you. Similar situations have played havoc with my emotions enough already, but now mine is over. 3 years ago I was the same as you, she still worked, it was almost killing me inside, but I sent her nothing as she had her own money.

If your girl wants to quit it helps alot, but you would need to help her and her family financially by replacing something similar to her current bar income, unless she can find another more 'normal' job near to the family. For me it was a bit of both after she quit the bar.

If you have only a few weeks holiday once a year, my suggestion would be to let her go, perhaps catch up again when you are next there if you wanted to. I am a contractor and that line of work allows a lifestyle which gives me 2 or 3 months off work a year, perhaps more.

To fund her for such a length of time between visits would be costly and serve no purpose, other than try to reserve her heart. If she really loves you then her heart will wait, but her bottom is still for hire in your absense regardless, unless you pay for her to stop working in the bar.

Under your circumstances, due to the time between visits, I would let her go and get the hurt over and done with. Then you can return next time without any emotional baggage or impact on your bank account in-between times.

Important: Assuming you do trust her to the best of your ability and you choose to keep her and send her money so she can stop working and go home (I hate the word 'sponsor' as there are so many permutations) never ever send her more than you can afford. Never be coerced into parting with more money than you can safely and easily do without. Ultimately, any money sent from you to her is money lost and gone forever, never to be returned.

Chok dee Krab

[JaiDee]

I don't know either person here and from my experience advice from message boards always falls on deaf ears once a person is head over heels in love, so it's pointless to even run down the long list of roadblocks set up ahead for this guy.

But I am always curious why any person who has discovered Nirvana, aka Thailand, and only has limited vacation time available, would want to have a girlfriend there. If you only have say 3 or 4 weeks per year and need to spend the other 48 working, it seems to me that once you get back to Thailand you'd want to spend that butterflying, not with one girl you met for a few days on your last trip.

Stay in contact with her through IM's, phone calls, skype, sending her cash, etc....and that means you are locked into being with her exclusively once you return next year; is that really what you want? No Ladyboys, no other girls, and no playing around; she gets to screw off for the next 10 or 11 months while you work hard and when you go back you have to spend it all with her, hardly seems fair.

Ask yourself this also, from her perspective of course; if YOU lived in Thailand, had family and friends there and enjoyed the pleasant climate, beaches, food and culture, would YOU want to pack up and move to Alaska? Anyway, good luck and I am really trying to just be nice and courteous and helpful here, but I still think the best advice on here has come from Jimslim.

[Katoeylover]

for me, and i can only speak for myself here, the holiday is enhanced 100 fold by being with one person who you know and a re totally comfortable with.

I guess i have never been a monger, always taking ne for the whole trip. Bar hopping bores me now and then there is always the worry that you arent going to get on.

With one special one there are no surprises.

we were talking today about this and my answer went something along the lines of, if she pretends to love me for my 11 days stay, stays home in the village and looks after me well, then i am getting what i want and she gets what she wants too.

different strokes for different folk, JD

[Trenton42]

hello all my friends i fall in love with a Thai bar girl she is beautiful not ask me for nothing no money just love from me. yes not ask for money but she need to keep working for money for family . this is very hard to not go ting tong when i know she is with customer like now for a full week i just talk to her. she tell me she loves me and miss me but this is very hard. my friends any advise on how not to think of it. i plan on bring her back to USA on my next trip. again she not want money from me just my heart . what do you all think..?HELP ME GUYS.

I have the bad problem of falling in lub with every other Thai girl I came across (no pun intended). Having suffered from this for over 15 years, this is my advice:

1. Prepare yourself for the time when she *does* ask for money. It may not happen right away as the girls like to make sure the hook is set before they start reeling in their catch, but odds are it will indeed happen. So don’t be too surprised if/when it does.
   The girls love to talk about their boyfriends, and sooner or later their friends in the bar will start telling them about all the money sent to them by farangs (whether it’s true or not is a different matter as the girls love to exaggerate). And then the pressure will be on. Maybe not only by their friends in the bar, but also by the girl’s family, and maybe even her Thai boyfriend!
   
2. It’s a sweet dream indeed to think about taking a girl back to one’s own country, but in the case of the US, it’s hella difficult for a Thai to obtain a visa. Especially a bar girl. Unless you’re a senator’s son or she comes from a wealthy family, the chances are about zero.
   The State Department doesn’t care that you’ll be looking after her once she’s here; in fact, that’s often looked upon as a negative thing. They care only that she’ll leave the US once her visa has expired. For the average BG that’ll be difficult to prove unless she comes from a wealthy family or owns a couple homes already.
   
3. If you start to have true feelings for her, you’ll have to get used to what she does for money, or make an honest woman of her.
   Making an honest woman of her, won’t come cheap. Can you afford to send her 50k~60k THB per month? Can you afford to set her up in her own business?
   

Falling in lub with every other BG forced me to deal with these difficult questions a long time ago. I figured I could take care of the girls when with them, but back in the real world my time would be better spent investing to the best of my ability so I could move to Thailand as soon as possible.

Some of the girls are so sweet they can a difficult habit to give up. But if one can’t do the right thing by them, it really isn’t fair to the girls.

These certainly aren’t the answers *I* wanted to hear when struggling with the problem, but for what it’s worth, it’s what I learned.

Good luck with that, and if there's anything I can do to help you out, just let me know.

[SiamSam]

Sound advice Trenton.

Thailand is like "crack". Best to deny oneself unless prepared to handle the potential devastating consequences. I continue to deal with the shakes and cold sweats of the addictive experience.

"Thailand", too dangerous to touch and yet much too inviting to leave alone.

[JaiDee]

These certainly aren’t the answers *I* wanted to hear when struggling with the problem, but for what it’s worth, it’s what I learned.

Very well stated Trenton, your post should be a warning for all even if they don't like the message.

[Lefty]

I am in exactly the same situation. 2 days ago I met a beautiful LB online. She lives in Davao. Yesterday I had a ton of mail from her. She is madly in love with me, wants me to come to Philipines and meet her and her Mother and walk hand in hand through the shopping malls.

She did not even mention money once, help me out here guys, should I go?

Yes. It will be a nice change of pace from LOS. She is very likely not p4p, hence no asking for money. You will pay in other ways, just not directly for the sex you have with her. She is likely looking for a serious LTR. It seems to be the dream of nearly every PI lb, who isn't a hooker, and even a few who are. Davao is a great destination. Safest city in SE Asia they say. The former mayor and current vice mayor is a literal real life Dirty Harry Callahan when it comes to criminals. The general citizenry seem to love and revere the man, Rodrigo Dutarte. Human rights groups don't because even career petty thieves often end up dead at the hands of a mysterious vigilante group called the DDS. Davao Death Squad. No actual connection has ever been proven between Dutarte and the DDS though.

[Lefty]

IMO, any long distance relationship is potentially a bad deal. Unless you can spend half the time at least, together in the same location, Thailand, wherever, better to forget it and just save your money and go have fun on your limited time available every year to spend there. If you want to spend the 3 weeks a year or so, with just her, ok cool, but the rest of the year, better to live your life and save your money.

[pdogg]

Locked at the request of the OP.