I once knew a girl named Apple

[deepthroat]

Great thread. It's fantastic to see you on here Jai Dee, and yet another reason to celebrate this board. One of my disappointments this last trip was hearing that you were in town but that I'd missed you - would have loved hanging out with you for a bit.

Here's a few more French jokes:

Q. Why did the French plant trees along the Champs Elysees?

A. So the Germans could march in the shade.

A French and American general were surveying a battlefield. A bullet strikes the American general, grazing his arm. He shouts "Aide! Bring me my red jacket!" The French general asks "Why did you do that?" The American general responds "So my men don't see that I'm bleeding, and lose hope." A second bullet narrowly misses the French general's ear, and he shouts: "Aide! Bring me my brown trousers!"

A Frenchman, an American, and a Brit were all busy getting drunk in Saudi Arabia when the cops burst in. They were soon sentenced to death, but through good lawyers, the three men were able to reduce their sentence to life. As luck would have it, it was a Saudi holiday, so the judge said, "Because it's a holiday you will each recieve 20 lashes and be let go. It is customary to grant one wish before punishment. The Brit thinks and says, "Strap a pillow on my back." They do, but it only holds for 10 lashes. The Frenchman sees this, and requests two pillows on his back. These only hold for 15 lashes. The judge turns to the American and says "Because you are from such a respectable country, you get 2 wishes." The American replies, "I wish to be flogged 100 times, not 20." The judge thinks this is very honerable and asks "And your second?" The American answers "Strap the Frenchman to my back."

Q. How do you say "Give me liberty or give me death!" in French?

A. I give up.

Q. Did you hear about France's new weapons contracts?

A. They gave one to Ace Hardware to produce 250,000 wood sticks...they are still looking for a company to produce 250,000 little white flags.