cobber32 Posted April 12, 2014 Share Posted April 12, 2014 In answer to your last posts: 1. your avatar is absolutely lovely; and 2. sick jokes welcomed by me - British humour sits well with me (its the Aussie link, apparently). I'll look forwatd to whatever you can provide. Quote Link to comment
SiamSam Posted April 12, 2014 Share Posted April 12, 2014 In answer to your last posts: 1. your avatar is absolutely lovely; and 2. sick jokes welcomed by me - British humour sits well with me (its the Aussie Canadian link, apparently). I'll look forwatd to whatever you can provide. Ditto for me. We all have the Queen on our money and what's more funnier than that!? Quote Link to comment
duke007 Posted April 12, 2014 Author Share Posted April 12, 2014 Latest in the Oscar Pistorious trial... A witness swears to have seen a sawn off man with a shotgun Quote Link to comment
duke007 Posted April 12, 2014 Author Share Posted April 12, 2014 I was working in Tesco re-arranging boxes of soap powder in aisle 7 when in walks the girl I'd scored with last night. She said "Oi, you told me you were a stunt pilot...you lying bastard!" I replied "No I told you I was part of the Ariel display team!" Quote Link to comment
duke007 Posted April 12, 2014 Author Share Posted April 12, 2014 My wife was complaining that someone had stolen a pair of her panties from the washing line, She's not bothered about the panties, she just wants the 38 pegs back Quote Link to comment
duke007 Posted April 12, 2014 Author Share Posted April 12, 2014 My wife just came down from having bath, she gave me a wink and said "Ive just shaved my pussy and you know what that means" Yeah I said "the fucking plug hole's blocked!" 1 Quote Link to comment
duke007 Posted April 12, 2014 Author Share Posted April 12, 2014 I was shopping in Asda and saw Rolf Harris, I said to him "I remember you doing 2 little boys in the 70's", he replied "Fuck Off, that was Jimmy Saville" Quote Link to comment
duke007 Posted April 12, 2014 Author Share Posted April 12, 2014 I was in Australia with the girlfriend recently when she was stung on the pussy by a Hornet, so I phoned up the Foster's Lager helpline "Please help me" "hey, whats up man?" "My girlfriend has been stung on her vagina and it has completely closed up" "Bummer Dude" "Thanks mate, bye" 1 Quote Link to comment
SiamSam Posted April 12, 2014 Share Posted April 12, 2014 Are we all okay here with no holes barred humour? Ethnic, racist, religious, disabled, whatever jokes? Quote Link to comment
seven Posted April 12, 2014 Share Posted April 12, 2014 Are we all okay here with no holes barred humour? Ethnic, racist, religious, disabled, whatever jokes? Yup. We should be able to joke about anything. Shoot! Quote Link to comment
duke007 Posted April 12, 2014 Author Share Posted April 12, 2014 Yup. We should be able to joke about everything. Shoot! Ok, heres one I heard last night... What is long, hard and smells of Peaches? The Coroner's Cock 1 Quote Link to comment
globetrotter Posted April 12, 2014 Share Posted April 12, 2014 Whats the difference between an an egg and a bj ? : You can beat an egg but you can't beat a bj 1 Quote Link to comment
duke007 Posted April 12, 2014 Author Share Posted April 12, 2014 I met a beautiful woman by the lake the other day, there was a spark between us and she fell at my feet, As we lay together making love I thought to myself....these fucking tasers are well worth the money 1 Quote Link to comment
duke007 Posted April 12, 2014 Author Share Posted April 12, 2014 just been into the loft and found a 1979 copy of the TV Times, or as its now known - the sex offenders register 1 Quote Link to comment
SiamSam Posted April 12, 2014 Share Posted April 12, 2014 A Jewish pedophile walks into a school yard and says: "Hey little girl, wanna buy some candy?" 2 Quote Link to comment
duke007 Posted April 12, 2014 Author Share Posted April 12, 2014 AUTOMATED MESSAGE FROM wwwAnnsummers.com In relation to your Christmas order for the Red Anal Vibrator you ordered on page 16 of our Gays Only Catalogue, please could you select another Item as this is our Fire Extinguisher 1 Quote Link to comment
duke007 Posted April 12, 2014 Author Share Posted April 12, 2014 A smart young blonde girl is standing on the edge of a cliff crying and trying to get the nerve to jump, a passing tramp walks up to her and says..... "Since you are about to kill yourself can I have sex with you before you do?" "Fuck off " she replies "Fair enough" says the tramp as he turns and walks away "I'll just go and wait at the bottom" 1 Quote Link to comment
bumblebee Posted April 12, 2014 Share Posted April 12, 2014 AUTOMATED MESSAGE FROM wwwAnnsummers.com In relation to your Christmas order for the Red Anal Vibrator you ordered on page 16 of our Gays Only Catalogue, please could you select another Item as this is our Fire Extinguisher I think that will give Bigtel a chuckle. Quote Link to comment
duke007 Posted April 12, 2014 Author Share Posted April 12, 2014 As my wife and three of her friends squeezed into the car after WeightWatchers i muttered under my breath, "Fat fucking cows" "What was that?" snapped my wife "You Herd" 1 Quote Link to comment
duke007 Posted April 12, 2014 Author Share Posted April 12, 2014 Premature Ejaculator seeks young attractive woman for fling....Must have large breasts, big lips, a tight arse and... aaaaaw for fucksake, nevermind 1 Quote Link to comment
duke007 Posted April 12, 2014 Author Share Posted April 12, 2014 I was sitting next to a black guy earlier when I noticed he had seven fingers, I turned to him and said "thats amazing, Ive never seen a guy with seven fingers on one hand before", He looked up and said "Fuck Off and let me eat my Twix in peace" Quote Link to comment
duke007 Posted April 12, 2014 Author Share Posted April 12, 2014 When I was younger I was blessed when given a 9 and a half inch penis.... unfortunately it belonged to Father O' Malley! 2 Quote Link to comment
seven Posted April 12, 2014 Share Posted April 12, 2014 Some good ones there, duke!! Quote Link to comment
SiamSam Posted April 12, 2014 Share Posted April 12, 2014 I think Mr. Duke should have replaced Letterman. Quote Link to comment
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